Remember growing up and hearing… “Do as I say, not as I do?” If it was not heard in your house, then you probably heard it somewhere else. Maybe there is a need for it while you are young and learn to be more mature with age, but when did you really take notice of the fact that “Do as I say, not as I do” phrase quit carrying value?
Better yet, let me drop this phrase on you… “Because I said so…” Heard that lately? The same questions from above can be asked here as well. How about this one… “You signed up for this…” or “Well, this is the way we are going to do it, and if you don’t like it…” One more, “We have always done it this way…”
Let’s look at it from an organizational perspective with leadership…
What is going on if you are hearing that from leadership in your work environment? Questions that quickly come to mind… What does it say about the culture of your work environment, and what is it saying about them, as a leader, directly?
As for culture, I believe that it is set by the group as a whole but is determined and sometimes developed by the expectations of leadership. To start, let me say that I believe culture is learned behavior until an agent of change comes in, or there is a paradigm shift. Too often, we forget that our culture is what we make it, not always what is mandated. However, if leadership is not abiding in and with the same parameters of their own expectations, then a disconnect is easily seen. Once it is seen, that disconnect creates breaks that has a hard time healing.
As for why a leader would have to say the above statements, well… Often leaders will say they operate on a different set of “rules.” Really? Different roles, yes, but rules? Nothing brings resentment to the boiling point quicker than a leader asking someone to do something they are not willing to do themselves, or stating they do not have to follow certain rules because they are in a position of leadership.
Last thought… What we say as leaders matter, how we actively live what we speak out matters even more—any saying that limits the originality or the why of your culture shows a mindset that is unwilling to grow, resentment will build, and relationships will suffer.
If a leader is having to say comments like these mentioned above or any others that come to your mind, then odds are they are very close to losing the culture, the respect, and, most of all, their leadership. They might still be in “charge,” but it is truly by title only. It might be due to their insecurities, knowing they really do not understand how to be a leader.
It would be interesting to hear from readers as to what you think leaders should not say… I bet we could get a pretty good running thread…
Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…
Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…
©2020 J Clay Norton
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I feel like, as a head coach, that “Do as I say and do” is vital. When you have teenagers watching you, there are a lot of impressionable eyes on you. But I guess that is true in all aspects of leadership.
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Agree. It is about modeling what is right – especially in your words.
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There is no time to be complacent. Leaders must be able to constantly adapt to the circumstances. This is especially true in education right now but really is always true as the needs of teachers and students are in constant flux. Leaders can be proactive and positive about anticipating change and meeting it head-on or can sit back and wait for change to happen to the community they are leading. If you are not proactive, the changes that will inevitably come will have a much more significant impact and could potentially damage your organization and its culture. Look ahead, plan ahead, and listen and your leadership will be much more effective.
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And of course, convey this with what you say and do.
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Why would you not?
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Well said. Having a growth mindset proactively helps everyone.
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I feel like a servant leader should use the phrase, “I signed up for this.” when working on a situation that others would rather not do.
Excellent points here. You’ve helped us understand that we need to ‘Practice what we Preach!’
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Hard to “follow” those who do not.
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