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~ J Clay Norton, Ed.D.

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Category Archives: Agenda

Leadership Manipulation Only Wants Yes or No Answers…

08 Friday Apr 2022

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Agenda, Facade, Insecurity, Intentions, Leader, Leadership, Manipulation

≈ Leave a comment

Have you ever been caught in a situation where someone wanted to “catch you” in your answer? Everything seems fine one-on-one, but let an audience form, and then the true intent comes out; the trap. In their smugness, they ask a question, only wanting a yes or a no. Any other answer response is not what they want? Why?

You see this happen a lot in leadership. People want an answer by manipulating you and the conversation. Think of spin control… Instead of getting into that trap, you could throw them for a loop and answer their question with a question for them. Keeping the topic the same allows them to possibly fall into their own verbal trap.

I would dare say that most people who demand a yes or no answer have fudged and twisted the truth of the question anyway. Some just lie from the onset. What’s funny here is that if they knew half of what they were actually asking, they would know that others see right through their facade.

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Leaders who ask loaded questions… you know any? They put those who are to answer in a lose-lose situation. Answer yes, answer no, they got you. When this happens, truth becomes irrelevant. Once someone has their mind made up, it does not matter if the truth is told or not. They want the answer they want to hear.

This leadership manipulation comes down to tautology logic, where a statement is true by necessity or by virtue of its logical form. The Latin for this is tertium non datur – as if there is no possibility of a third answer. I would say beware of people who ask questions in this form. They are only out to help themselves.

Insecure, weak leaders do not like to be challenged. Agreeing to disagree is nonexistent in their world. When they do not get the yes or no answer they are looking for, they are challenged on a much deeper level. They take it personally, and then you become the problem.

I would say that the leadership lesson here is not to be manipulated. However, we all know that we cannot control others’ thoughts and actions. Sometimes… But a lesson I believe that is helpful is to make sure we are firmly planted with our convictions that others would dare not try to manipulate us. We will be less likely to be manipulated when we are.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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Being a #girldad and Women Sports Equality

25 Friday Mar 2022

Posted by The Book Chamber in Advantage, Agenda, Choice, Expectations, Future, Honest, Humility, Influence, Intentions, Opinions, Power, Value

≈ 2 Comments

I’m a #girldad and very proud to be one. I love Breana with all of my heart and then some (ya’ll know what I mean). However…

In recent events, the NCAA allowed Lia Thomas, swimming for the University of Pennsylvania, to swim in the NCAA D-1 Women’s National Swimming Championships. HE won the 500-yard freestyle event… you see, Lia was biologically born as a male… and there lies the issue. Interestingly, Thomas competed for the men’s swimming team at the University of Pennsylvania for three years before transitioning, undergoing hormone therapy, then switching to compete for the women’s team in 2020. Thomas finished the 500-yard freestyle final in 4 minutes, 33.24 seconds, just over a second faster than second-place finisher Emma Weyant (University of Virginia), while Olympian Erica Sullivan (University of Texas) touched the wall next to take third place. Title IX was established to promote and advocate for equality in women sports, but it seems that is no longer the case. 

Men-VS-Women

Breana played tennis in high school and is a pretty good tennis player (she takes after her mom). They played mixed doubles, but she never had to compete in singles against a boy. Girls played against girls, and boys played against boys. As a #girldad, I’m proud of Breana’s effort in competing. However, as the future begins to change, how would I go back and explain to her that she had to compete against males. At some point, right is right, and wrong is wrong… but that seems to get lost in translation. Some will say it becomes relative, but then…. whose relativeness do we believe? 

I’m not sure where society took a wrong turn, but I don’t think it was when I was growing up. If it was, we didn’t know about it. How do we tell our children not to cheat, stay honest and honorable, while others will literally try to change their gender or call themselves what they are not in order to compete? In the spirit of “political correctness,” I’m sure this becomes an obtuse thought. However, when we tell our girls not to compete, we stifle or limit their competitiveness nature in order to take a stance. 

If we see this now, where will it be later on? We say, “It cannot get worse,” but then something more asinine happens. When we say, “The audacity of…,’ the gravity of the situation does not carry the weight. I will say I admire the actual girls who swam in the meet. I also admire that they spoke out about it afterwards. I wish one of them had won. But then we know they actually did even though no trophy or medal was given. 

My daughter is now grown but still plays league tennis. As a #girldad, I’m passionate about and for women sports. For all the future girl athletes, I wish for them the opportunity to be able to compete at their level. But it needs to be at their level. We can get into the science of it, we can get into the biology of it, we can… get into it. In the end, how one is born is what they are. Allowing a male to compete with females does not create a venue of equality. 

It seems equality is no longer equal. However, to quote Gavroche in Les Misérables, “Here is the thing about equality, everyone’s equal when they’re dead.”

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

 

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The Value of Educational Standards… Why Do They Seem Not Worthy Anymore?

30 Friday Apr 2021

Posted by The Book Chamber in Achieve, Actions, Advantage, Agenda, Attitude, Decisions, Education, Educational Leadership, Effective, Expectations, Ideals, Intentions, Intolerance, Leader, Leadership, Purpose, Standard, Tolerance, Value

≈ 2 Comments

Everyone has an opinion on how education should be defined and what the role of education should be. With that being said, education, as we know it, is being redefined based on agendas set forth by those who want education to be “lessened” based on equality.

Recently, the Virginia Department of Education was reported to considering dropping all advanced math classes below the 11th grade due to unequal representation of minority races and is also considering ending honors diplomas for advanced students due to “inequity.” Fortunately, Virginia’s superintendent of public instruction said a few days ago that the state is not eliminating advanced high school mathematics courses. The decision to eliminate honor diplomas has not made any other news as of today.

With all of the above… It got me to thinking…

What are we thinking? Where is the common sense?

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Take this quote from Dr. Randy J. Guliuzza in an article I recently read… “Today, anyone daring to speak common sense is publicly pummeled with disparaging names (or worse) by members of a rapidly growing deviant movement. They use a hostile crowd to systematically isolate people from each other by making everyone afraid to be associated with the pummeled person lest it also happen to them – a method to strong-arm conformity in thinking and control the behavior of an entire group.”¹

This is how I feel precisely with those who are wanting to destroy the idea and ideals for education. It could also be the question that many students will ask in the future, “Why can’t I be educated?” or better, “Why am I being denied to take a course because there are some who are not capable of doing so?” Hard questions that must be answered on the other side of the conversation.

Those who know me know that I am a huge proponent of education and the right of it for all in the name of equality and equity. I have said before that education is one of the last strongholds that can help society “get better.” And it is our job as educators to do what we can to make that happen.

However, when we begin to lower standards (why would we anyway?), we suppress knowledge and limit the growth of students who will be our future. When “education” wants to “level” the playground, per se, wherever the bar is now set, there will always be some who still have to “rise” to that level. Will we continue to lower the bar until all can have “success?” When the standards are lowered, mediocrity becomes more prevalent and eventually accepted. Students who decide to take advanced classes do so because they want to or they need to in order to foster success for what they choose to do in the future.

Now, for those who are going to say, “Well, some students are not ‘smart’ enough to take advanced classes or get an honor diploma.” That’s true. But why should those who are, be denied the opportunity? There were days when school did not even have those types of classes. When I was in high school, I never took an AP, Honors, or Dual-Credit class, and I feel I received a very well-rounded education. My first exposure to calculus was my sophomore year in college. My only “advanced” course in high school was Advanced Math, and that was because that’s what it was called.

Anyway… my thought on what education is and should be for is to allow and help a person better succeed in society when they enter it. Many say, “School is not for everyone.” I agree; that is why education should provide outlets for students to find their niche and be successful in it. That is why the arts and career and technical programs are such an essential part of education and should be promoted as such.

Also, as an educator, I know all schools are not equal and how I wish they were. All schools do not, cannot, or choose not to have the same classes and perform academically as other schools (and there are many reasons for that which can be discussed later). However, I will say that you can find one success story after another of young people who defied the odds and bettered themselves because they wanted to. They decided not to hold themselves back due to whatever reasons and succeed. That is what education provides; an opportunity to succeed for any student who wants to at any academic level.

And let’s add this one other thought… There are many areas of life that we want standards to be kept very high. Just for the sake of conversation, how about these occupations… airplane pilots, medical doctors and surgeons, architects, etc. Let’s also not forget sports. No one ever said they want mediocrity and lower standards there. 

If we start limiting the education of students based in the name of equality and equity, we go against the very definition of what both stand for. This we all know, there is always someone more intelligent than you and those who are not as intelligent as you. Neither case disqualifies one or the other from being a quality individual. In almost every case of life, we choose who we want to become. Let’s continue to let education be a vehicle that helps determine that.

1Guliuzza, R, J. (2021). Refusing to live by lies. Acts & Facts, 50(5), 5.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on…

Twitter @thebookchamber

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The Two Sides of Leadership Debt…

26 Friday Feb 2021

Posted by The Book Chamber in Advantage, Agenda, Authentic, Conversations, Expectations, Future, Leader, Leadership, Transactional, Transformational

≈ 1 Comment

On the way home from school in the afternoons, I listen to talk radio. It can vary from local to national news, sports, and even money. The other day I was scanning the channels and stopped on The Dave Ramsey Show. In his intro, after a break, many times, he will say, “Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show where debt is dumb, and cash is king.” And as usual, that got me to thinking.

Debt… to owe someone else. Most of the time, we think about debt as being related to money. However, many times I see leaders who have what I call “leadership debt.” Yes, I believe “leadership debt” is a thing, it is happening to many, and there is also another side to it.

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As you look and listen, we often see transactional leadership taking place – “do this for me, and I’ll do this for you.” I believe that leadership should be a healthy mix of transformational and transactional leadership, with a higher percentage leaning toward transformational. However, when transactional leadership takes place, usually we end up owing.

It goes something like this…
“Hey, I need a favor.
     Ok, what can I do for you?
Well, I need such and such, and if you can come through for me, I will return the favor.
     When?
Well, I’m not in a position to do it now, but when I am… I will take care of you.”

It seems to me only one person in the conversation got what they wanted. The other person just sits and waits. So, who owes the debt? I guess you would probably say the person who received the favor. But… what about the person who made good on their end? What did they get? If we think about it in terms of money, they “paid” for something and did not get anything in return but a future promise, and we know how promises are kept… Ultimately, there seems to be only one winner, but do they really win? I see both parties in some form of debt isolation.

The hard part of all of this is many leaders can help others. That is one of the main characteristics of leadership – helping. Do they sometimes need favors? Sure. I do think, however, that they do not need to go around owing others on future promises, while at the same time, the ones who are “paying” need to make sure the return of their investment is healthy, but the return needs to be almost immediate. And when that leader does get to where they can repay… leadership amnesia sets in all the sudden.

I guess what I am trying to say is this… If someone asks you for a “favor,” do it because you want to, not expecting anything in return. Quit giving of yourself to make others look good for their own agenda, and they will start seeking out other weak-minded people. Be true to yourself. When you are, you will be seen as true to others. While at the same time, if you are the one always asking for favors, quit “getting” others to help you get what you want. Do it on your own merit. Yes, it might take more time, and it might cramp your style that you cannot do something you want now, but you will be seen as a much better person.

Yes, Dave Ramsey is right… debt is dumb, but it is even dumber to pay for something and receive nothing in return. As James states, “Let your ‘yes’ be yes, and your ‘no’ be no” (ESV, 2001, James 5:12).

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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