Category Archives: Relationships

Square Peg, Round Hole Leadership

10 Thursday Jan 2019

Posted by in Actions, Authentic, Character, Consistency, Decisions, Facade, Importance, Integrity, Leader, Leadership, Purpose, Relationships, Servant

≈ 2 Comments

“I can make it fit. No, you can’t, it is not going to work. You know it, and I know it. Fine, I’ll show you. Go ahead then, you will figure it out.” Moments later, “Why will this not fit?”

A square peg in a round hole… the classic idiom.

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We have all seen the pre-school hands-on learning tool, and we have seen children trying to figure it out. Never ceasing to be amazed at the comedy that it provides.

Oh, but how many leadership truths can be found in something so trivial?

Now, fast-forward to adults in leadership settings who are trying to do the same thing. Have you ever asked that question of, “How did that person get that leadership position?” The comedy increases, but it is not the same kind of harmless fun. It takes on a whole new level that could have a negative effect on many.

Bottom line, truth to be considered, is the fact that some people have leadership positions because of who they know instead of what they know. Yes, believe it or not, wrong people can be in leadership positions. Why and how, are questions that probably do not want to be answered. It happens, and we see it every day. Our society is running rampant with it in every area imaginable where leadership is involved.

While the outer appearance looks great, square peg, round hole leaders really do not contribute to the growth and development of others. Motivation is done through fear, and the assertion of their leadership only happens when mistakes are made, thus creating rejection.

Square peg, round hole leaders sell a facade of leadership that it can work and the main issue is that many “trick” themselves into thinking that it actually can, knowing all along that the square peg is not fitting in that round hole.

So, what to do? I have more questions than I have answers for this blog post, but I do know that time has a way of revealing everything for what it is worth. The one constant I believe that will always work is to be for others and the greater good and not your own self-interests.

©2019 J Clay Norton

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

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Is Your Leadership A Gift?

14 Friday Dec 2018

Posted by in Actions, Choice, Gift, Giving, Heart, Importance, Integrity, Leader, Leadership, Present, Purpose, Relationships, Servant, Transactional, Transformational, Value

≈ 2 Comments

It’s the season of giving…

First, a disclaimer… This is about intentional giving and not about giving out of obligation (I have never been a fan of that anyway).

Have you ever considered the mental taxation and stress that goes on our hearts and minds of buying a present? Often, there are serious calculations that take place, causing the Advil bottle to empty quickly. The heavy sighs of not knowing what to give, the internet searches, the pages of the catalogs turning, asking others what they think, looking for the one present that says as much about you as it does the person you are buying for.

When we buy a present for someone, it is nothing more than a transaction.  Hardly any feelings take place between the seller and the buyer.  There is probably a friendly, polite conversation but no emotional feelings are exchanged. Why? Because when we make a purchase, a relationship is not established. Just another heavy sigh takes place, but this time one of relief, knowing that you have completed the task.

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But…
Once you give that present to someone, it becomes a gift — everything changes; you take on a different mindset — the anticipation in hoping that everything you went through to make that “transaction” was worth it. Relationships are established when we give the present. The present becomes a gift because when we give it, we are expressing to that person you value them and you want them to be a part of your family or a part of your inner circle.

For some of the gifts we give, a lot of thought process goes into it.  We really try hard to find that perfect gift for others.  Why is this? Intentionality! I believe when we give gifts, it says something about what is inside of us and the relationship that we have with the recipients.  As I think about it a little more now, everything we give shows what is inside of us.  Our time, money, thoughts, etc.; even our leadership.

What then can be said of our leadership as we give it to others?  Is it intentional or out of obligation? Is your leadership nothing more than a present of a transaction? Does it matter what we give in regards to leadership?  I believe so.  Let’s make sure that it does. Turn your leadership into a gift for others. Let it transform not only you but them also.

©2018 J Clay Norton

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

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The “Lights” of Leadership

30 Friday Nov 2018

Posted by in Christmas, Consistency, Inspiration, Leader, Leadership, Relationships, Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…,” until you have to deal with the Christmas lights!

As we decorate each year, all of our Christmas lights are in one bin. Every year when we “undecorate” I take the lights, wrap them nicely, put them in a bin and close the lid. By the way, all bulbs of each string of lights are working…

Fast-forward eleven months and something has happened. Obviously, someone has gone in and tangled the strings together in knots, thus making many of the lights not work. I believe that the Gremlins have come back from the ’80s and are living in my attic. Anybody working with me? Have you Gremlins and lights not working too?

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So, where is this going with regards to leadership? Let’s see if we can turn the lights on and make a connection…

When you plug the lights in, one of three things is going to happen. Every light lights up, some light up, or none light up — only those three options. What happens when you plug your leadership in? Let’s let the lights represent characteristics of our leadership.

Those same three ideas are present when you plug your leadership in; your characteristics either all work, some work, or none work. Only one of three is for the best. Have you ever notice when you buy a box of lights they give you a “few” extra bulbs (just in case one does not work)? You cannot replace every bulb.

The question to be asked with regards to your leadership is, “Are the lights working?” Not some, not a few, but all. Think of it this way… Do the “lights” of your leadership shine? What type of connection are you making? Are there a few “lights” that are not working well? A much bigger problem is when not a single “light” comes on.

In leadership, we must regularly check to see if our “lights” are working; even changing a few bulbs out along the way. Sometimes we might just have to throw the whole string away and start new; and you know what, that’s ok too. Leadership is about finding what works.

Now, about all those strings being tangled up? I am going to blame that on the Gremlins… Someone fed them after midnight…

©2018 J Clay Norton

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

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Flop Flop Fizz Fizz – Leadership Indigestion

19 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by in Actions, Attitude, Balance, Character, Consistency, Decisions, Expectations, Humility, Leader, Leadership, Relationships, Servant

≈ 2 Comments

“Keep your words short and sweet, for you never know which ones you will have to eat.” – Unknown

Have you ever been watching TV late at night and seen commercials for a new drug that can help you with any problem you have, that you did not know you had, but realized you probably did after watching the commercial? Many times I feel like I do and sometimes it seems that the commercial is “talking” directly to me.

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The other night a “drug commercial” came on, and its opening line was, “Do you suffer from indigestion?” As I was trying to keep my food down from supper, limit my acid reflux that turns into heartburn that causes my stomach to cramp which gives me a headache, which leads to my hands shaking, I realized that, WOW, I have indigestion, and did not know it. Not really, but you get the point. What I did understand, however, is that we all have “things” that can give us indigestion and they are not always food.

To take a more serious approach to the topic, let’s ask this question, “What can cause you to have leadership indigestion?” Are there things that you see leaders do that cause your stomach to turn? I am sure the list can become rather lengthy for each of us, but let’s look at a few that I think are the most gut-wrenching and heartburning.

GETTING OTHERS TO DO WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO (OR AFRAID TO DO)

Bottom line, they do not want confrontation. This is not to say that you do not like confrontation, but you know how to deal with it. People who avoid confrontation make excuses for their thought process, such as “I’m a peacemaker,” or “I don’t want to ruffle any feathers.” They never want to be seen as the “bad guy.” However, when their moment comes, they want to be seen front and center. Any other time, they will put on the chameleon suit and do their best to blend in and be part of the crowd. They want everyone to think that they are like everyone else. No, you are not, you are in a leadership role, act like it.

MICROMANAGING

It is just bad leadership. It is the opposite of servant-leadership. It keeps the Leader-Follower model of leadership intact, and no one is ever empowered. Paying attention to detail is ok. Making sure work is done is ok. What is not ok is always breathing down someone’s neck when you hired them to do their job, and you know they do their job. The problem with micromanagers is they question a majority of what you do. This creates a working atmosphere of unwarranted scrutiny. It does more calling out instead of calling up.

MOODINESS

Have you ever been around people that you have to carry around with kid-gloves and on a silver platter? You feel as though you have to walk on eggshells because you do not know what kind of mood someone is in. They have to ask others to see if the “leader” is in a good mood and approachable. Moody leaders are inconsistent with their leadership, and when they are inconsistent, they become unpredictable. Everything about a moody leader is terrible, and there is no way to mask it. Inconsistent, unpredictable leadership creates a mood that no one wants to be a part of.

BLANKET CONVERSATIONS FOR EVERYONE WHEN ONLY ONE PERSON NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED

Get the pill bottle and refill it. This might be the worse one of all. We have all been part of an announcement in a meeting or an email where a blanket is thrown over everyone about an issue that only concerns one person. Here is the scene of what is being thought… You hear an announcement about a problem or issue that is not good, and everyone agrees that it should be addressed, but no one believes they are the ones who need to hear the message but they know who needs to hear it. What good does that do? Please quit leading this way to handle problems. Tell whoever it is that needs to hear it. Everyone else will appreciate it. It goes back to bad leadership and wanting not to be seen as the bad guy.

To make sure you are not the leader who is causing leadership indigestion, make sure you are taking the right medicine. Yes, the prescription is to be a servant-leader. Start taking a daily dose. All four of the “symptoms” of leadership indigestion can be healed where you lead. Servant-leadership handles confrontation in the right way without dodging it, not micromanaging or moody, and most of all they directly handle issues without throwing a blanket over everyone.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

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