Category Archives: Relationships

Valentine’s Musings…

11 Thursday Feb 2021

Posted by in Actions, Family, Heart, Listening, Love, Relationships

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Valentine’s…

The day we are told to celebrate our love for others…

Chocolates, flowers, and cards… Priced much higher than usual, just to show how much more we love for only one day? It is amazing to me how the price suddenly drops on February 15.

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Those chocolates taste the same, you know, and they are 75% off. You can truly get an assortment of assorted flavors. Also, you don’t feel bad about not liking a particular type and spitting it out. Paying full price makes you eat the ones you don’t care for.

And the flowers… aka ROSES. Yes, the ones that will die, even if you do use the plant food packet that comes with it… don’t we know they are dead already when they are cut? I tell Heather, “I’ll buy you a rose bush… that way we can plant it, and you can have roses anytime you want, all year long. You pick out the spot, and I’ll dig the hole.” Now that’s what I call love.

And the cards… You know the ones that bring the response, “Oh, that was so sweet of you.” The funny thing about cards… Someone else is really doing the talking for $7.95, and three days later… the garbage can. And if it is not a Hallmark, well… you just didn’t “…care enough to send the very best.”

I know… but you are saying, “It’s the thought that counts.”

Yes, the thought… Where is that same thought for the other 364 days of the year?

The thought… Why don’t we ever say, “It’s the action that counts.” Is love not suppose to be a verb, the action of doing? I can think a lot of stuff, but if action is never there, then what good is the thought. It just falls on deaf ears, mine and yours alone.

So, what does love look like in action? I cannot answer that for you, nor can you answer that for me. What works for you might not work for me and vice versa. But I do have some ideas…

Love…
Makes the bed, picks up in the house, does the laundry, feeds the dogs, bathes the dogs, sacrifices their time for others, watches an action-killing movie instead of a chick-flick (or the other way around), goes to the grocery store, takes walks, rides bikes, drives the vehicle because you don’t like to drive, plans meals to make sure we eat healthy, empties the dishwasher, holds your hand, brags on you, provides a Godly example to our daughter, prays for the family… Love will even read your blog on Thursday nights to make sure it is all in order.

Love can also listen, laugh, and even cry. But more important than all of the above…

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…” (I Corinthians 13:4-8b, ESV).

Happy Valentine’s Day

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Genuine kindness – Where did it go?

29 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by in Appreciation, Conversations, Culture, Decisions, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Mask, Message, Relationships, Value

≈ 6 Comments

Today’s world comes at us every morning with the dog-eat-dog mentality. I have to get what is mine. Yes, I will speak to you or nod your way, but to genuinely acknowledge where the other person felt kindness… not so much. Why? Where did society take a wrong turn, and genuine kindness got left behind.

A few thoughts before I get into my other thoughts…
One, I believe technology has really hurt society in this area. Yes, there are many good, quality aspects of technology… but ultimately, what I see has happened is people are now able to hide behind their keyboards and type what they wish they could say but are afraid of the ramifications. It is almost as if the keyboard is the mask of insecurity they wear.

Ok… enough. Get to the kindness…
I heard Billy Joel’s song the other day, “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” and there is one line in the song… “I can’t take it anymore.” Well, that is often how I feel. We cannot escape… The radio, the TV, the social media, the complainers, the _________.

Ok… the kindness…
Why can’t we just be kind? It might take some effort, but it beats not being kind. Where has that ever gotten anyone?

Kindness is never arrogant. Kindness is humility. Knowing no one is really any better. Find what works for individuals and build a relationship. Quit the “me!” Try having a true interest in others. Not what you can get from them, but what they can give. That’s genuine kindness.

Say thank you that shows value… yes, appreciation. We are so worried that we are not going to get the recognition we deserve. Who cares besides you? One day, someone is going to throw that plaque in the garbage anyway. Genuine kindness celebrates others and fosters success for them.

It does not take long to figure out when kindness is not in the air. It just doesn’t smell right. You know that smell… the smell of “stuff-upedness.”
It is very hard to have a connection with others when that odor is around. As soon as they walk in the door, they say, “You smell something?”

I truly believe genuine kindness helps people motivate themselves. And when that happens, empowerment is felt and seen. Trust and respect take on new definitions, and results are an after product instead of a grind.

Quick question… You want to know if your kindness is genuine? Quick answer with a question… Are others inspired because of you?

In the end, kindness puts others first. I’m talking about leadership here… Your leadership message is for others, not you. Genuine kindness has the ability to relate to others—more about them, less about you.

Genuine kindness – where did it go? It really never left. Maybe we just forgot it was there. Genuine kindness is good for you and good for others.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Teacher and student rapport, how is it in your classroom?

22 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by in Attention, Attitude, Communication, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Reflection, Relationships

≈ 2 Comments

As a teacher, have you really ever listened to what students talk about? Believe it or not, there are some pretty good conversations out there. A casual “ear to the ground” can let you know a lot about what is happening up and down the halls and in classrooms. For some reason, it seems to me, we do not give students enough credit sometimes to be able to think on a more mature level. Now, I am not saying that we should always provide them with a platform, but just listening and acknowledging goes a long way.

For example… the other day, I heard a student talking about another student’s conversation and their teacher in class. Work with me here; you know how this will go… it is worthy of being a case study…

Teacher… Here are the directions. Don’t ask me again, because I am not going to repeat them.
A few seconds go by…
Student… Could you please say what you said again?
Teacher… No, you should have been listening.
Student gets upset.
The teacher sends the student to the office.
The student is now out of class.
Much time has now passed.
The administration walks the student back to class.
Instruction time is stopped again.
Administration, teacher, student all get on the same page.
The teacher gives students the needed information.
The student goes back to class.
All is good?

Wow, know any teachers like this? Ok… I know we all want students to be attentive. My question is, why and how did it get to that point? I know we all want them to come in, sit down, be quiet, sit appropriately, etc. However…

If this is the worst thing you have to deal with, you have it pretty good as a teacher. So the student asked again. Did you set the stage for all of them to pay attention, to begin with? What did you do to help? It would have taken little to no effort to restate the directions. The teacher could have spun it to be a teachable moment of comedy. The teacher could have even gone back to the student’s desk and had a one on one moment. I don’t know, but telling the student no, did not help anyone.

Another question I have is what type of rapport are you establishing with that student and others? Remember, everyone in the class saw and heard the teacher’s response, and you know how student talk gets spread…

I do not know what was going on with the student or the teacher that day. I do not know why the situation had to escalate as it did. I know that we can get aggravated with students. But… I do know that in the end, the teacher had the opportunity to be the bigger, better person.

I have said this before, “If you can create an environment where your students feel invited, regardless of the subject you teach, they are going to give you more than a fair shake.” Be the teacher your students need. It will make a huge difference.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Why I enjoy “Christmas Vacation”…

04 Friday Dec 2020

Posted by in Christmas, Expectations, Leadership, Memories, Reflection, Relationships, Thankful

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Like many of you, I’m sure you have your favorite Christmas shows/movies you watch as a family. The other night our family had a discussion on what made a movie a Christmas movie or not. My thoughts… Christmas movies have a Christmas theme for the entire movie. Anyway… there was a agree to disagree moment…

My top three shows are A Charlie Brown’s Christmas, Christmas Vacation, and A Christmas Story. Why these three? I am not sure, but I do find myself drawn to these three for different reasons. One thing is for sure, we all have a way of resonating with a show or movie for some reason or another. Most of the time, it is because there is a “tug of the heart,” or the show is just plain funny.

For me, Christmas Vacation does both. Also, it is great for the “relatableness” of life during the Christmas season. And… it has some of the best quotes that can last all year long. So this past Thanksgiving week, we do what we always do… watch Christmas Vacation.

A few thoughts on the “relatableness”…
The neighbors (Are they not going to decorate?)
The family relatives coming to stay (Where is everyone going to sleep?)
The family relatives we are not sure about (Does everyone have a Cousin Eddie?)
The Christmas meal (What’s wrong with turkey left in the oven too long?)
Outside decorations (Making sure all the lights work – did we check all the bulbs?)

And here is a quick list of my favorites quotes…
“I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas.” — Audrey

“You better take a rain check on that, Art—he’s got a lip fungus they ain’t identified yet.” — Cousin Eddie

“Oh, he’s just yakkin’ on a bone.” — Cousin Eddie

“Whoa, geez! Look at the time. I gotta get to bed—and brush my teeth, feed the hog, do the laundry, wash the car, still got some homework to do.” — Rusty Griswold

“The BLESSSSSING.” — Uncle Lewis

“If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” — Clark

“Is your house on fire, Clark?” – Aunt Bethany

“You serious, Clark?” — Cousin Eddie

“Clark, that’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.” — Cousin Eddie

“It’s people that make the difference – little people like you.” — Frank Shirley

“If it isn’t too much I’d like to get somethin’ for you Clark, somethin’… real nice.” – Cousin Eddie

“Oh, no, that there is an RV.” – Cousin Eddie

“Catherine, if this turkey tastes half as good as it looks, we’re all in for a real treat!” – Clark

Yes, there is leadership in the movie as well…
We see awful leadership in Clark’s boss, Mr. Shirley.
We see Clark wanting what is best and having great intentions.
We also see Clark having expectations that sometimes cannot be met.
However, in the end, Clark’s heart is in the right place.

Tis the season to be jolly? Yes, for it is Christmas. Friends and family or, as Clark said, “The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin.”

I am very fortunate to say that I love getting together with our families during the holidays. The fun we have should be bottled up and sold. We remember and make memorable moments, and our aggravation is at its finest. The older I get, the more I cherish getting together with our family. For me, that makes all the difference.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2020 J Clay Norton

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