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~ J Clay Norton, Ed.D.

The Book Chamber

Category Archives: Message

Genuine kindness – Where did it go?

29 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by The Book Chamber in Appreciation, Conversations, Culture, Decisions, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Mask, Message, Relationships, Value

≈ 6 Comments

Today’s world comes at us every morning with the dog-eat-dog mentality. I have to get what is mine. Yes, I will speak to you or nod your way, but to genuinely acknowledge where the other person felt kindness… not so much. Why? Where did society take a wrong turn, and genuine kindness got left behind.

A few thoughts before I get into my other thoughts…
One, I believe technology has really hurt society in this area. Yes, there are many good, quality aspects of technology… but ultimately, what I see has happened is people are now able to hide behind their keyboards and type what they wish they could say but are afraid of the ramifications. It is almost as if the keyboard is the mask of insecurity they wear.

Ok… enough. Get to the kindness…
I heard Billy Joel’s song the other day, “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” and there is one line in the song… “I can’t take it anymore.” Well, that is often how I feel. We cannot escape… The radio, the TV, the social media, the complainers, the _________.

Ok… the kindness…
Why can’t we just be kind? It might take some effort, but it beats not being kind. Where has that ever gotten anyone?

Kindness is never arrogant. Kindness is humility. Knowing no one is really any better. Find what works for individuals and build a relationship. Quit the “me!” Try having a true interest in others. Not what you can get from them, but what they can give. That’s genuine kindness.

Say thank you that shows value… yes, appreciation. We are so worried that we are not going to get the recognition we deserve. Who cares besides you? One day, someone is going to throw that plaque in the garbage anyway. Genuine kindness celebrates others and fosters success for them.

It does not take long to figure out when kindness is not in the air. It just doesn’t smell right. You know that smell… the smell of “stuff-upedness.”
It is very hard to have a connection with others when that odor is around. As soon as they walk in the door, they say, “You smell something?”

I truly believe genuine kindness helps people motivate themselves. And when that happens, empowerment is felt and seen. Trust and respect take on new definitions, and results are an after product instead of a grind.

Quick question… You want to know if your kindness is genuine? Quick answer with a question… Are others inspired because of you?

In the end, kindness puts others first. I’m talking about leadership here… Your leadership message is for others, not you. Genuine kindness has the ability to relate to others—more about them, less about you.

Genuine kindness – where did it go? It really never left. Maybe we just forgot it was there. Genuine kindness is good for you and good for others.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Yo-Yo Leadership…

06 Thursday Feb 2020

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Authentic, Communication, Courage, Culture, Engagement, Essence, Expectations, Humility, Leader, Leadership, Message, Purpose, Servant, Sincerity, Understanding, Value

≈ 2 Comments

We can all agree or should, at least, that leadership is not about popularity. Oh, but how many “leaders,” think and lead that way.  You know them…

What begins as, hopefully, a genuine desire to serve others in leadership soon can become nothing more than an act of impressing others. If a leader’s leadership depends on the applause and approval of others, the genuineness, or lack of, is so apparent, people get blindsided because of it. And there lies the problem….

I read something the other day about popularity being similar to a yo-yo. I thought it was funny because we all know some yo-yos. Yo-yo up, yo-yo down. Now, it has been a while since I toyed around with a yo-yo, but as I reflect, I can definitely see how the analogy takes true. As the yo-yo goes down, gravity takes over, everything is natural. As the yo-yo comes back up, it is drawn back with a force of having to get back to the top.

As I thought more about popularity and the yo-yo, I transferred the concept to leadership. Does your leadership, naturally work, or are you leading because of a controlling force? And the most critical question to answer today is, “Is that controlling force your wanting to be liked?” When things are going well, we strut and swag; when not, we drop our head and mope. When your wanting to be liked becomes the “want of your day,” nothing good happens. It makes you miserable (it should) and others around you miserable.

Let people like you because they see true leadership in you. It seems that a reoccurring theme in my blogs is talking about “being for others.” I think we should; why would we not? But it is tough to be for others when we are for ourselves first. It goes back to a thought I had the other day… “Finding value in what we know instead of what we think carries greater leadership responsibility.” Lead because you know… If we do not, how can we ask for society to grow to be better leaders? Be popular becasue you are respected, not the other way around. Bottom line… Do not be a yo-yo leader!

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others

©2020 J Clay Norton

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What is the message I am teaching?

18 Friday Oct 2019

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Balance, Clarity, Communication, Humility, Importance, Leader, Message, Relationships, Servant, Teachers, Value

≈ 4 Comments

How many of us, when we first started teaching, spoke a different message than we do now? When it comes to teaching, many teachers are “talking” way further down the road, then they are actually “walking.”

The struggle for many is that we are talking so much and in so many areas where students cannot hear our message. Or do they? The contrast of what is heard between not saying something and saying something is profound, and our students are listening.

Any given day, we can point to areas where we know our teaching has not caught up to the truth we are speaking and sharing with others. It is at this point in time we must remember the idealist mission we first started with. I believe the challenge of our message is, “Are we doing right with and by students?” In all humbleness, we teach to grow and serve students to be more and better than they realize they can be.

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Deep down, we know what a message of teaching should sound like. We know about pedagogy, methodology, classroom management, best-practices… and since we know these things, we automatically think we have them. But, do we know about teaching the message of kindness, patience, fairness… yes, we know about these as well, but we do not automatically have them.

The message we speak for our students carry beyond the time we have them in class. We can make all the necessary changes here and there to make ourselves better teachers. However, if we do not find a platform on which to stand for our students, and actually hold them accountable and be for them, the platform we stand on is not any better than trying to stand on a 2×4 in the ocean.

Being a quality teacher is teaching a message that gives credibility to others and as a byproduct, credibility to you in return. This message must be part of ourselves and not lip service. Let your “walk” and “talk” catch up with each other.  Everyone will be better for it.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others

©2019 J Clay Norton

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