Leadership Manipulation Only Wants Yes or No Answers…

08 Friday Apr 2022

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Agenda, Facade, Insecurity, Intentions, Leader, Leadership, Manipulation

Have you ever been caught in a situation where someone wanted to “catch you” in your answer? Everything seems fine one-on-one, but let an audience form, and then the true intent comes out; the trap. In their smugness, they ask a question, only wanting a yes or a no. Any other answer response is not what they want? Why?

You see this happen a lot in leadership. People want an answer by manipulating you and the conversation. Think of spin control… Instead of getting into that trap, you could throw them for a loop and answer their question with a question for them. Keeping the topic the same allows them to possibly fall into their own verbal trap.

I would dare say that most people who demand a yes or no answer have fudged and twisted the truth of the question anyway. Some just lie from the onset. What’s funny here is that if they knew half of what they were actually asking, they would know that others see right through their facade.

Leaders who ask loaded questions… you know any? They put those who are to answer in a lose-lose situation. Answer yes, answer no, they got you. When this happens, truth becomes irrelevant. Once someone has their mind made up, it does not matter if the truth is told or not. They want the answer they want to hear.

This leadership manipulation comes down to tautology logic, where a statement is true by necessity or by virtue of its logical form. The Latin for this is tertium non datur – as if there is no possibility of a third answer. I would say beware of people who ask questions in this form. They are only out to help themselves.

Insecure, weak leaders do not like to be challenged. Agreeing to disagree is nonexistent in their world. When they do not get the yes or no answer they are looking for, they are challenged on a much deeper level. They take it personally, and then you become the problem.

I would say that the leadership lesson here is not to be manipulated. However, we all know that we cannot control others’ thoughts and actions. Sometimes… But a lesson I believe that is helpful is to make sure we are firmly planted with our convictions that others would dare not try to manipulate us. We will be less likely to be manipulated when we are.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

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Getting rid of the bitter taste of leadership…

05 Friday Nov 2021

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Bitterness, Character, Communication, Decisions, Effective, Facade, Intentions, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Love, Transparent, Uncategorized, Vision

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Ugh… that tastes bitter. Even worse, that bitter taste can sometimes linger, and it begins to be all we think about; talk about distracting. It will probably hinder us from tasting the good of other things also.

But… what does bitter look like? Good question. Better yet, what does bitter leadership look like, and why is it such a thing? First, what is bitterness? A quick lookup gives this definition – having a sharp, pungent taste or smell, not sweet. Hello… not sweet, pungent… Talk about a bad quality of leadership… How about this statement, “I have a bitter taste in my mouth about…” Yep, been there, said that. Pungent… doesn’t even sound like a good word to say.

I would say, most of the time, our bitterness is always going to be with something or someone else. It mostly comes with disappointments which leads to frustrations, not only with yourself but others. Bitterness in your life affects so many things; confidence, mood, performance, likeability, respect… most of all, love. It deprives the sweetness of what leadership should be.

One area I see bitterness is in leaders who only think their way is “the only way.” They lead with blinders that prevent them from seeing anything anyone else has to say. By default, others begin to question, respect is lost, and their leadership becomes a facade, seen right through. I guess, in the end, bitterness comes and goes, but the effects can last much longer. A full circle runs through all people, especially when we do not get our way.

So… how can we fight bitterness? I am not sure there is an absolute answer. However, I have seen enough leaders with bitterness that I have some ideas on how I do not want to lead. First, be open to ideas and not have a closed-mind set. Second, be transparent with your leadership. If we can incorporate both of these concepts in our leadership, we will lead better, and others will not have to be bitter because you are.

Go figure and it sounds easy. However, when our EGO gets in the way, bitterness is going to taste bad. Let’s lead with a sweetness.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

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A Window into Your Leadership…

20 Friday Sep 2019

Posted by The Book Chamber in Appreciation, Authentic, Culture, Facade, Leader, Leadership, Relationships, Transparent, Trust, Value

≈ 1 Comment

The role of a window is to let the light shine through it… and the role of your leadership should be transparency.

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Two ways not to let light in; put curtains up or just keep a wall up… either way, transparency is blocked.

Why do you think this is? Why are some leaders transparent and others not?

I believe it has to do with a trust issue. Trust and transparency exist only with the help of the other. How many times have you been a part of an organization where “shade” was consistently thrown? For the most part, people do not like surprises, especially when it comes to their work environment. As a leader, you are responsible for letting, not allowing, people to see with greater clarity. As a leader, you are responsible for eliminating the “behind the scenes” actions and be proactive in creating an atmosphere where people want to belong.

The more I look around, I am beginning to believe more and more that people leave an organization because of leadership; the lack of. No one I know wants to be associated with weak, insecure leadership, and that precisely is what lack of, or no transparency gives. Who wants to lose good people?

Having transparency as a leader is not a weakness. Actually, it is very powerful. It allows you to connect on a level that promotes trust, that goes both ways; for you and others. Some leaders are not transparent because they feel it will lessen their “rule,” their “status” will not be appreciated, or they do not want to have shared-leadership. Each of these limits the productivity everyone can have – relationships become fragile, trust is not developed, and the suppression of reality creates fake leadership.

The need for transparency in leadership is at an all-time high. Too many leaders “close the curtain” or “put up a wall” when it comes time to lead. The authenticity of having a window to let others into your leadership does not exist, and ultimately it is the leader who loses.

Transparency is open and honest. More importantly, it is real. It inspires hope and promotes an opportunity for all. As you continue to lead, let the window do what it is designed to do… let others see your leadership. It is the one key element you have to cultivate the culture where everyone is on the same page.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others

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In Closing, A Reflection and A To Do…

17 Friday May 2019

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Authentic, Character, Essence, Facade, Leader, Leadership, Reflection, Servant

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Well, here we are… at the end of another school year and the last weekly blog until we start up next August. There will be one blog each for June and July.

First, let me say thank you to everyone who reads this blog weekly. Each week, I intend for each of us to “look within” ourselves and know where we are with our leadership. If we cannot identify where we are, be sure that others can. I have said it before; “Others see you better than you see yourself.” (Quote by my mom, Judy Norton)

As I was thinking about what to write on for this week, I reviewed all the previous blogs for this past school year. As I read and reflected, this is what I came up with…

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I believe one of the best concepts of leadership is the ability to reflect and allow your reflection to shape your future decisions. As you reflect on the past, cherish the good, and learn from the bad. Never compromise by separating who you are with what you say you believe in. Most of all, be for others.

Success as a leader is always at an expense, but what is the cost? Just because people follow you does not make you a leader. A “leader” is so much more than directing where others should go and what they should do. Leadership is sometimes hard to define but very easily recognized. However, just because we acknowledge leadership does not always mean it is good leadership. The hardest question to answer is the one we have to ask ourselves, “Am I a good leader?” We can lie to ourselves, but those who follow us will be able to know the difference. Can we be a leader that puts off the “self” and puts on the “others” mentality?

In closing, try to do these things this summer…

Tell someone “thank you” in writing. Writing a “thank you” note is a lost art – yes, the handwritten one in an envelope with a stamp. It takes time and effort.

Always remember where you came from and how much you have learned. Both of these are easy to forget. You have to remember it. If you do not, someone else will remind you.

Most of all, make sure you take some time in your summer break to spend with your family. Remember, they are your biggest fans.

And.. if all else fails and you cannot find anything to do, then by all means… find a book to read.

Thanks again for reading. Also, thank you for the comments you have made regarding the blogs; they are very much appreciated.

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