Category Archives: Decisions

Genuine kindness – Where did it go?

29 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by in Appreciation, Conversations, Culture, Decisions, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Mask, Message, Relationships, Value

≈ 6 Comments

Today’s world comes at us every morning with the dog-eat-dog mentality. I have to get what is mine. Yes, I will speak to you or nod your way, but to genuinely acknowledge where the other person felt kindness… not so much. Why? Where did society take a wrong turn, and genuine kindness got left behind.

A few thoughts before I get into my other thoughts…
One, I believe technology has really hurt society in this area. Yes, there are many good, quality aspects of technology… but ultimately, what I see has happened is people are now able to hide behind their keyboards and type what they wish they could say but are afraid of the ramifications. It is almost as if the keyboard is the mask of insecurity they wear.

Ok… enough. Get to the kindness…
I heard Billy Joel’s song the other day, “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” and there is one line in the song… “I can’t take it anymore.” Well, that is often how I feel. We cannot escape… The radio, the TV, the social media, the complainers, the _________.

Ok… the kindness…
Why can’t we just be kind? It might take some effort, but it beats not being kind. Where has that ever gotten anyone?

Kindness is never arrogant. Kindness is humility. Knowing no one is really any better. Find what works for individuals and build a relationship. Quit the “me!” Try having a true interest in others. Not what you can get from them, but what they can give. That’s genuine kindness.

Say thank you that shows value… yes, appreciation. We are so worried that we are not going to get the recognition we deserve. Who cares besides you? One day, someone is going to throw that plaque in the garbage anyway. Genuine kindness celebrates others and fosters success for them.

It does not take long to figure out when kindness is not in the air. It just doesn’t smell right. You know that smell… the smell of “stuff-upedness.”
It is very hard to have a connection with others when that odor is around. As soon as they walk in the door, they say, “You smell something?”

I truly believe genuine kindness helps people motivate themselves. And when that happens, empowerment is felt and seen. Trust and respect take on new definitions, and results are an after product instead of a grind.

Quick question… You want to know if your kindness is genuine? Quick answer with a question… Are others inspired because of you?

In the end, kindness puts others first. I’m talking about leadership here… Your leadership message is for others, not you. Genuine kindness has the ability to relate to others—more about them, less about you.

Genuine kindness – where did it go? It really never left. Maybe we just forgot it was there. Genuine kindness is good for you and good for others.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Passion and the Why – Is it good or bad?

15 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by in Actions, Agenda, Attitude, Authentic, Character, Choice, Deciding, Decisions, Emotion, Know Your Why, Leader, Leadership, Motivation, Passion, Perception, Value

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In last week’s blog, I wrote on “Decision Making – Emotional or Factual?” One of the three areas where I believe decisions are made is with passion. A few people commented on it enough that I thought I would just use “passion” for our topic this week.

Going along with the title, is your “passion” for what you believe in good or bad? How you answer this, I know, is based on one’s perception and relativeness. However, I also know that putting perception and relativeness aside, your passion is defined by your values and even more by your core values. One of my great mentors at Mississippi College stated, “Values are what you believe in, core values are where you draw the line in the sand.”

A few friends emailed or stopped by to discuss “passion” as they see it regarding making decisions. Here are a few specific comments…

“To take positions we have to take for our clients, I must not only believe in the “rightness” of that position, but I need to have some passion for advancing that position… There are sometimes I do not believe in the “rightness” of what they wanted me to advance. The facts didn’t ‘geehaw’ with my core beliefs.”

“My experience is that some measure of passion for your positions on issues and core beliefs is necessary; otherwise, you come across as passive and lack genuineness.”

“It’s when passion is inappropriately expressed does it become detrimental. However, when you can exhibit passion properly (non-inflammatory), can passion help your cause.”

These are “spot on” with my belief as well on passion. Our passion has to be for the right thing. The “right thing” is where it gets fuzzy… I would say that the “right thing” depends on your “why”… the outcome you want (tangibles and intangibles), goals, motivation, attitude, etc… Is it for good or bad? Do you want revenge or to promote unity? Is your passion for selfish reasons, or is it being for others? Mostly, what is your agenda? I believe these are underlying thoughts as to what “fuels” our passion.

Upon a little digging… “The root of the word “passion” is found in the Latin word “passio.” From the late 1500’s “passio” began to take on the meaning of emotion and, in some cases, controlled emotion. And now we know why passion can help or hurt… it all depends on the “why” and if it is controlled.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Decision Making – Emotional or Factual?

08 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by in Decisions, Emotion, Leadership

≈ 5 Comments

This past Sunday, on our way home from church, Breana, our daughter (age 20), went on a positive, constructive rant, per se. Please note, we have a good many of those…

Much of what she said centered around her generation’s idea of making decisions based on emotions rather than factual information. As the conversation continued, I told Breana that I felt that she was way beyond her years in thinking, and to understand, that while she might see emotional decision making among her age group, that it also happens in all age groups and at all levels of leadership.

I have seen many leaders make decisions based on emotion. I acknowledge that there are those “gut decision” moments; however, when it comes to what truly affects the long term and creates a paradigm shift for the worse, emotional decisions hurt the future.

This idea goes beyond the “What was I thinking?” Usually, when I ask myself that, I wasn’t. Our emotions help define who we are, and emotions are not destructive. But… they can get in the way of how we respond and how we decide.

So… I thought I might start off the 2021 year with what I think hinders quality decision making when decisions are made by emotions…

Passion
Yes, I can get excited. Much about nothing and extremely much more about the things I am passionate about. Unbeknown to me (yeah, right), this affects my ability to make logical, factual decisions. The risk and the reward of what is at stake… Passion often leads you to make quick decisions. If you are not passionate about something, then most likely, you don’t care about the decision. This can lead to apathy, and we find ourselves not making a decision. Your passion does not change the facts.

Nerves
We all get nervous… some more than others. Often, you will find that whatever decision you are “worried” about does not affect the outcome. Being nervous about one area can overflow into other areas. Being nervous creates a mindset of indecisiveness. That’s even worse. Your nerves do not change the facts.

Anger
Ever been mad and made a decision? Me too… Usually, they are rash and without much judgment and more times than not… regrettable. Unlike passion and nerves, anger is like that boiling pot of hot water. It just continues to get hotter and hotter until that steam has to go somewhere. Remember this adage… Anger is one letter away from Danger. Your anger does not change the facts.

As 2021 is now here, we do not want to live in the past, especially last year, 2020. Moving forward, we need leaders who can make decisions that can set their emotions aside and base their decisions on what the facts are. Emotional decisions create feelings, and those feelings are either good or bad. When our feelings start making decisions… well, it does not matter what the truth is.

As Joe Friday of Dragnet said, “Nothing but the facts.”

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Expiration Dates and Fresh Leadership…

23 Friday Oct 2020

Posted by in Decisions, Effective, Expiration dates, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Servant

≈ 4 Comments

The other night I was getting a glass of milk before I went to bed and finished the container; there was not much left. I went to get another container out of the other fridge, and as I bent over to get it, there it was… the expiration date, staring me in the face. Somehow the lettering seemed much larger and more significant than it had in the past. I said to myself, “October 23, wow… I can literally live my days marked out on time based on milk carton expiration dates.”

Others in my household will look at the expiration date, on any item, on the day of and immediately say, “I’m throwing this out. It has expired.” I look at the date and say, “Let me see,” taste it and say, “It’s still good.” The way I look at it is expiration dates just mean hurry up.

Smart shoppers check expiration dates at the grocery store. Why would you not? We really do want fresh items. You know what? We really want everything fresh, even leadership. However, it is too bad that leadership does not have a stamp on it, letting others know that the particular leadership style is about to be or already is… growing stale, stale, about to expire or even has.

So, how do we know if leadership is expired or growing stale? To answer that question, we must look at the leader themselves and the trend they promote. Strong leadership with a growth mindset that does not keep repeatedly doing the same old thing over and over is what people want. Remember, the worst words in leadership are, “We have always done it this way.” Now, that does not mean we change ideas and concepts that are working and for the good of others, but…

Leadership that has worked in the past often does not work now. Leadership that works now does not mean it will work in the future.

Fresh leadership finds a way of keeping good ideas previously used on the cutting edge, changing and tweaking it here and there as needed. While at the same time, leaders who involve others in “talks” and actually listen will find support to continually move forward with new ideas and help foster current and future success. And please, acknowledge good ideas from others and give them credit. It will do wonders for your credibility.

As we all live our lives, we “clock” it by some time factor. And then I began to think more (this is where many of my problems occur)… How much time after the expiration date is the milk still good. Well, that answer depends on how much you like soured milk. I guess at some point, it will become undrinkable, but who knows. And just like milk, leadership will eventually sour as well. Don’t let your leadership expire…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2020 J Clay Norton

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