Category Archives: Perceptions

Are you annoyed at what others say?

28 Friday Oct 2022

Posted by in Actions, Annoying, Conversations, Leadership, Perceptions, Relationships

≈ 2 Comments

Do you ever get annoyed with what others say? Maybe it’s even those “one-liners.” Yep, that’s me. I get annoyed, but I have great “one-liners.” Anyway… Hopefully a little levity today and a side of seriousness.

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This past Monday, I was listening to This Morning – America’s First News with Gordan Deal on the way to school. He and Mike Gavin were talking about an article titled, ‘Annoying’ people say these 75 things, according to Reddit users. Well, I can tell you, I turned up the volume because I know a lot of annoying people and wanted to hear what the sayings were…

Here are ten that I pulled from the list…

“I don’t mean to be rude, but …”

“Let’s agree to disagree.”

“No offense, but …”

“It is what it is.”

“Here’s the deal.”

“If I were you …”

“Must be nice.”

“Nobody cares.”

“I’m the type of person …”

“It’s all good.”

A few of my favorites I did not see on the list were…

“Can I be honest with you?” (Wait, that means you have lied to me before?)

“Let me be frank with you…” (No, don’t be frank, just be you)

“Fake it til you make it.” (For those of you who know me, this is the worst of all annoying sayings, especially in a leadership position.)

In 2020, I wrote a blog on Things Leaders Should Not Say… As I read the entire list in the article, I thought about that blog, and yes, when leaders say certain things, it can be very annoying. There are even a few annoying sayings on the 75-list that are included in the blog.

The list of 75 will make you think of what you and others often say. Yes, there are a few on the list that I have said and say as well (I counted ten). I laughed when I read some of them because I immediately thought of certain people who are notorious for saying one, if not more, of them. And, yes… depending on the person, it can be very annoying.

I guess that is the determining factor; who it is and what type of relationship you have with them. What some see as annoying, others see as funny. It seems that I’m guilty of both, but I’m ok with it.

If nothing else, as with all things in life, time is too short. Perception is not reality; rose-colored glasses only tint stuff as we want it to be. Society gets annoyed when we do not think and act like it wants us to, and there lies the problem; relativism at work… Respect is not, but should be, a two-way street. It gets annoying when it is not.

What I cannot do is control what others say. I don’t have to let what others say impact my feelings. Do I get annoyed with what others say? You bet I do. It wears me out mentally, but ultimately, it’s my decision. So… stop saying annoying statements or quit being annoyed? What am I to do?

Let’s go fight the good fight of leadership. Someone has to…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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Seeing Faces Again…

29 Friday Oct 2021

Posted by in Attitude, Character, Classroom Leadership, Classroom Management, Communication, Conversations, Education, Effective, Emotion, Engagement, Perceptions

≈ 2 Comments

This past week our school district lifted the mask mandate that has been in place for a while. Now masks are encouraged and optional. Before I begin with the blog, let me say that these thoughts are not about the mask mandate itself. It is not about political or religious views, cultural differences, one’s belief system to be vaccinated or not, the science, or any other reason a person chooses to wear or not wear a mask. Today’s thoughts are about seeing facial expressions, and that’s it…

For the first time since March of 2019, educators in our school can now see the faces of many of our students, and it is refreshing. As a teacher, seeing the facial reaction of students can say a lot, especially when a student does not say much, to begin with. Outside of words, a person’s face is the next best communicator one has to express themselves. A student’s face conveys a wealth of information. It can help a teacher determine their mood, their engagement, their emotions… which leads to feedback, and that is what teachers want to see.

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One of the best attributes I think a teacher can have is having the capability to determine if they can see a student’s mind changing. Better yet, having those Jedi powers and “feel the force” of seeing the effect of mind-changing moments taking place. No more do we need to hold emoji flashcards to see what a student is experiencing. As an educator, seeing understanding or the lack of, on our students’ faces is key to how we continue our lessons many times. Do we go on, pause, restate, start over, etc…

On another note, think about this… Students can see your facial expressions also. As Haim Ginott said, “I’ve come to a frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It’s my personal approach that creates the climate. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather…” That personal approach is seen on our faces before we ever speak a word to our classes. What did/will your students see today in your class?

Facial expressions… yes, they communicate thoughts, good to be able to see them again.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on…

Twitter @thebookchamber

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

Illusions of Perception… Are They Reality?

23 Friday Apr 2021

Posted by in Decisions, Illusions, Leader, Leadership, Perceptions, Reality

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Art… “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” it is said. Take any picture in an art museum; what I see and how it makes me feel could be totally different from what you think. Survey a group of ten people; you are likely to get ten different opinions.

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Perception… is it our own reality? Or, is there really an illusion taking place? Our senses tricked to think another way? I would even say it could cause separation anxiety from ourselves, causing us to ask, “What am I supposed to think?”

I’m going somewhere with this… hang in there with me.

Is leadership an illusion of our perceptions? What determines the reality of our perceptions?

I was reading an article the other day, and it referenced the following psychological demonstration from the work of S.E. Asch as an example of how we view leaders.

Read this slowly…

“If I describe a man as warm, intelligent, ambitious, and thoughtful, you get one kind of picture of him. But if I describe another person as cold, ambitious, thoughtful, and intelligent, you probably get a picture of a very different sort of man. Yet I have merely changed one word and the order of a couple of others. The kind of preparation that one adjective gives for those that follow is tremendously effective in determining what meaning will be given to them. The term “thoughtful” may mean thoughtful of others or perhaps rational when it is applied to a warm person toward whom we have already accepted a positive orientation. But as applied to a cold man the same term may mean brooding, calculating, plotting. We must learn to be aware of the degree to which one set of observations about a man may lead us to erroneous conclusions about his other behavior.”¹

I hope that made sense. Just think, change a word and the order, and we have two completely different people… based on nothing more than our perception. I believe this to be our reality as we view those in leadership.

As I read the above example, I have come to a conclusion… leaders and their leadership are perceived only on the notion of what our perception of them is at any given time. More about the effects when we have a stake in the decision as it is made. And that is why leadership is so difficult. That is not to say there are bad “leaders” out there because I genuinely believe they are. However, how we recognize and understand leadership takes on only our perception.

Abracadabra, hocus pocus… what you see is really not there or is it? An illusion of whose reality? It depends solely on you and your perceptions. The climate and culture of any organization are collectively shaped by experiences and interpretation.

Quality leadership that sets leaders apart is the ability to understand different perceptions. What we determine about leaders becomes their perception, which becomes a reality for them.

¹ Asch, S. E. (1946). Forming impressions of personality. The Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 41(3), 258–290.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on…

Twitter @thebookchamber

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…