Category Archives: Attitude

“Masked” Leadership

07 Friday Dec 2018

Posted by in Actions, Attitude, Authentic, Character, Consistency, Expectations, Facade, Honest, Integrity, Leader, Leadership, Mask, Transparent, Trust

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This past summer when we visited Los Angeles, my daughter and I decided to take a tour of the Warner Brothers Studio.  One of the areas of the tour was the “Streets and Buildings” section. This section of the tour took us up and down streets on the grounds of the studio with buildings that were “sets” for many of our favorite TV shows.

While I knew each building was just a “prop,” seeing it up close reinforced my notion of the great facade within TV shows.  You might be saying, “Duh, really?  You did not know that?”  Well, yes I did, but to see it up close makes you realize just how real, “fake” can be.

The same can be said with leadership.  Often, leadership is nothing more than a facade, providing a face that appears to have it all together.  As we continue to live our lives in leadership positions, and the more mature we grow in that, we should begin to see how many fake, masked leaders are in roles that end up causing more harm than good.

How can we tell the difference? How do we see beyond the facade that “fakes everyone out?” What is really “behind the scenes?”  To answer these questions, we must look at the actions, and then hear the words to see if they connect.

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I believe leaders who wear a mask do the following…

Fail to speak the truth

Masked leaders swallow the truth.  They speak what they think is best to cover themselves.  When this happens, they also swallow their integrity, self-respect, and most of all their authenticity.

Want to be “blenders”

Masked leaders want to be whatever they think they need to be for whatever environment they are in. They change their leadership style to accommodate and blend into every new crowd.

Find it hard to apologize

Masked leaders find it very hard to apologize. Either they do not, or they deflect with, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Are “copycats”

Masked leaders who “copycat” other leaders cannot be themselves. I believe this is one of the more dangerous characteristics of leadership. People want a real leader.

Promote their “perfectionism”

Masked leaders cannot handle situations where no one agrees with them. It causes them to feel rejected. Believing that your leadership is perfect actually stems from the fear of knowing that it is not.

Shine their “light” too bright

Masked leaders never dim their light. They always want to be seen as the brightest in the room. Having their light the brightest automatically dims anyone else’s light that actually could shine brightly.

When you wear a mask, you rob not only yourself of what you could be, but you rob others of their ability to be who they are around you. If you are wearing a mask, please lose it.  Halloween should only come one time a year, and life is not an everyday masquerade ball.

©2018 J Clay Norton

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

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Do Others “DIG” Your Leadership?

09 Friday Nov 2018

Posted by in Actions, Attitude, Authentic, Character, Consistency, Decisions, Expectations, Humility, Inspiration, Integrity, Leader, Leadership, Purpose, Sacrifice, Servant, Understanding, Value

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Leaders who are most successful have the openness to allow empowerment. Leaders who “take care of” their people will build a trust earned of the heart and not just the mind. Leaders who give of themselves first, invite the cooperation of others to work alongside “with” not “for” a common goal. What is this common goal; to make leadership about others and not yourself.

It is tough to do this in a society that places so much emphasis and importance on the “me first.” It goes against every fiber of our bodies to “let go” and begin to think of a different way to lead. At some point a leader must ask themselves, do I have the respect of others? Leaders who are for their people do not have to ask this. If you have to ask, then you probably do not. It is straightforward to tell because you are the one who determines the respect.

After pondering my thoughts above, I believe there are three ways to determine where you are with your leadership with others and where others are with your leadership. Yes, it goes both ways.

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Do what you say, say what you do…

You are the example, the poster-face of your organization. You must understand the responsibility that comes with being the leader. Everything, everything you do provides some level of engagement that others will feed off of, either good or bad. This is the responsibility you have as a leader. Great leaders understand this. Great leaders know that they are putting their lives in with the lives of others for the greater wellbeing of the organization, not just themselves.

Get the shovel and help dig the ditch…

I have always been a fan of the line, “Do not ask someone to do something you are not willing to do yourself.” What I do not like to hear or see in leadership is the idea of, “I have paid my dues, I don’t have to do that anymore.” Yes, dues are paid; everyone understands that, and some can even respect that. But what is not ok, is for you to flaunt yourself and not be willing to do any of the work. If you want your people to be inspired, do not only get in the ditch but get a shovel and dig. People want to see leadership in the ditch with them. To understand and feel as they do; not every blue moon, but on a consistent basis. Having a clean shovel is not a good sign of leadership.

Responsibility is yours; credit is theirs…

Leadership must own its actions and decisions. It is so easy to place blame on others; we see it all the time. This is where that ego of many gets in the way. I have witnessed many times where a leader will “paint themselves in a corner” only to let someone else take the fall; the idea of being “called on the carpet” per se. But, to look at the opposite… when something great happens, the leader wants to be front and center, forgetting the ones behind. I am sorry to say this, but once again, it is about the people, not you. Be willing to acknowledge and reward the opportunities that can make a difference for the people. Let the light shine on them. Better yet, just be the shadow. Give credit where it is due, to the ones, you work “with.”

Great leaders should understand the impact they have. As the leader, you are being watched and more than likely, being talked about. Is it good or bad? It is so important that you, the leader, model what you want in your team, because what you model will be modeled.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

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Flop Flop Fizz Fizz – Leadership Indigestion

19 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by in Actions, Attitude, Balance, Character, Consistency, Decisions, Expectations, Humility, Leader, Leadership, Relationships, Servant

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“Keep your words short and sweet, for you never know which ones you will have to eat.” – Unknown

Have you ever been watching TV late at night and seen commercials for a new drug that can help you with any problem you have, that you did not know you had, but realized you probably did after watching the commercial? Many times I feel like I do and sometimes it seems that the commercial is “talking” directly to me.

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The other night a “drug commercial” came on, and its opening line was, “Do you suffer from indigestion?” As I was trying to keep my food down from supper, limit my acid reflux that turns into heartburn that causes my stomach to cramp which gives me a headache, which leads to my hands shaking, I realized that, WOW, I have indigestion, and did not know it. Not really, but you get the point. What I did understand, however, is that we all have “things” that can give us indigestion and they are not always food.

To take a more serious approach to the topic, let’s ask this question, “What can cause you to have leadership indigestion?” Are there things that you see leaders do that cause your stomach to turn? I am sure the list can become rather lengthy for each of us, but let’s look at a few that I think are the most gut-wrenching and heartburning.

GETTING OTHERS TO DO WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO (OR AFRAID TO DO)

Bottom line, they do not want confrontation. This is not to say that you do not like confrontation, but you know how to deal with it. People who avoid confrontation make excuses for their thought process, such as “I’m a peacemaker,” or “I don’t want to ruffle any feathers.” They never want to be seen as the “bad guy.” However, when their moment comes, they want to be seen front and center. Any other time, they will put on the chameleon suit and do their best to blend in and be part of the crowd. They want everyone to think that they are like everyone else. No, you are not, you are in a leadership role, act like it.

MICROMANAGING

It is just bad leadership. It is the opposite of servant-leadership. It keeps the Leader-Follower model of leadership intact, and no one is ever empowered. Paying attention to detail is ok. Making sure work is done is ok. What is not ok is always breathing down someone’s neck when you hired them to do their job, and you know they do their job. The problem with micromanagers is they question a majority of what you do. This creates a working atmosphere of unwarranted scrutiny. It does more calling out instead of calling up.

MOODINESS

Have you ever been around people that you have to carry around with kid-gloves and on a silver platter? You feel as though you have to walk on eggshells because you do not know what kind of mood someone is in. They have to ask others to see if the “leader” is in a good mood and approachable. Moody leaders are inconsistent with their leadership, and when they are inconsistent, they become unpredictable. Everything about a moody leader is terrible, and there is no way to mask it. Inconsistent, unpredictable leadership creates a mood that no one wants to be a part of.

BLANKET CONVERSATIONS FOR EVERYONE WHEN ONLY ONE PERSON NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED

Get the pill bottle and refill it. This might be the worse one of all. We have all been part of an announcement in a meeting or an email where a blanket is thrown over everyone about an issue that only concerns one person. Here is the scene of what is being thought… You hear an announcement about a problem or issue that is not good, and everyone agrees that it should be addressed, but no one believes they are the ones who need to hear the message but they know who needs to hear it. What good does that do? Please quit leading this way to handle problems. Tell whoever it is that needs to hear it. Everyone else will appreciate it. It goes back to bad leadership and wanting not to be seen as the bad guy.

To make sure you are not the leader who is causing leadership indigestion, make sure you are taking the right medicine. Yes, the prescription is to be a servant-leader. Start taking a daily dose. All four of the “symptoms” of leadership indigestion can be healed where you lead. Servant-leadership handles confrontation in the right way without dodging it, not micromanaging or moody, and most of all they directly handle issues without throwing a blanket over everyone.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

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Things We All Need More Of…

12 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by in Actions, Adventure, Affection, Attitude, Balance, Communication, Conversations, Dignity, Expectations, Giving, Heart, Importance, Leader, Leadership, Purpose, Relationships, Rest, Understanding, Value

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I saw this picture on Twitter the other day and began to think of how each item is necessary to battle the need for quality leadership in today’s society. Being in a leadership position, we are pulled and sometimes pushed in many different directions. Some voluntarily, some not so much.

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While each of these pics are sweet and cute, the leadership behind them can be influential in our daily fight. We need more of each of these…

Adventures

We need one or two things that allow us to escape the mundane activities of everyday life. While our jobs are somewhat labeled as day to day activities, it can and does get monotonous. Having an adventure allows us to breathe a little easier and push our minds to a different level. It gives you a sense of mental freedom.

Good Sleep

Yep… We all need it, and we all want more of it.  Now, how to get it? I am not sure I have an answer. However, you and I know when we get a good night’s sleep. We are pushed to the max on a daily basis. We go to bed with “stuff” on our minds.  We toss and turn, here and there, as much as being pushed and pulled like we are when we are awake. Typically, something has to give in your life to ease your mind. It is up to you to decide that.

Warm Hugs

The older I get, the more I want to be around like-minded, kindred-spirited people (I have said this before).  Now, we are probably not going to give or receive “warm hugs” everytime we want, but I believe we can broaden the tagline to just being around people who make you feel better about yourself.  I am sure each of us can attest to “having” to be around others that we do not want to be around. Odds are they are not going to give you that warm hug, but more likely an icy stare or a cold shoulder. Be intentional about the people you are around. It says a lot about you.

Interesting Conversations

I like this one.  Interesting conversations help the brain and maybe the heart. What are interesting conversations? You have to decide. However, I can tell you what they are not. Interesting conversations are not about yourself, others, gossip, complaints, fluff, etc. These conversations are easy to see and hear. They are the conversations that are hand-mouthed in hush tones, behind closed doors or loud enough, so others have to listen to them. Interesting conversations mean something and have value. They solve problems. They are for the good of yourself and others together.

Laughter

Laughter is great.  We have memorable moments that make us chuckle. We read something funny. We watch slap-stick comedy.  The things that make us laugh are different for everyone.  Someone said, “Laughter is good for the soul.”  Any way you look at it, laughter is good. Have you ever laughed at something terrible? Probably not. Just remember though, it is not very leadership like to laugh at the expense of others. You sure would not want them to laugh at you.

Happy Dances

Do not read this and say you have never done a little dance step.  I have. You have too. Usually, it is when something good comes to mind as a happy thought, an upbeat song, an accomplishment. I would even broaden this tagline to include the “fist-pump.” A happy dance celebrates good things, and sometimes that is just what each of us needs. Go ahead, dance.

Leadership, in general, is a daily grind and the struggle is real.  Leaders get down. Sometimes I find all it takes are the little, small things that encourage. We need to have some of the above thoughts in our lives.  If we do not, then we cannot help others because we cannot help ourselves.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton