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~ J Clay Norton, Ed.D.

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Category Archives: Attitude

A Tribute to Coach Stan Jones… Leadership Beyond the Game

16 Friday Oct 2026

Posted by The Book Chamber in Accountability, Appreciation, Attitude, Character, Educational Leadership, Encouragement, Expectations, Importance, Influence, Inspiration, Know Your Why, Leader, Leadership, Loyalty, Motivation, Passion, Relationships, Respect, Responsibility, Thankful, Transformational, Tribute, Value

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Education, Educational Leadership, Leader, Leadership, Learning, Respect, school, Teachers, teaching

My first true encounter with Coach Stan Jones was in 1994, when I interviewed at Shoney’s with him to be his assistant basketball coach. We talked about basketball, life, and just about everything in between. Near the end of our conversation, he asked me one last question: “If you heard someone talking bad about us at a nearby booth, would you get up and say something to them?”

I told him I would.

When Coach Jones got into town this past Wednesday, we had supper together, and I reminded him of that interview. I told him I still did not know whether my answer to his question was what got me the job. He replied, “You got the job, didn’t you?”

Yes, Coach, I did, and all these years later, I am still grateful.

I have thought about that question many times since 1994, and I have used it in every interview I have been part of since. At first, I just wanted to see what people would say. Believe it or not, the way someone answers tells you quite a bit about them. I believe Coach Jones wanted to know whether I would stand up for the people I worked with and be loyal to the team. I went to Shoney’s hoping to get a coaching job, with no idea that I was also meeting someone who would influence me as a basketball coach, husband, dad, educator, and leader for the rest of my life.

The next evening, hundreds of people gathered at the Mississippi Sports Hall of Fame to honor Coach Jones and raise money for the Sherard Shaw Foundation for Pediatric Cancer Research and the McLean Fletcher Center. His basketball coaching career gave everyone plenty to celebrate, and seeing so many people there showed how far his influence has reached.

Coach Jones’s coaching résumé is impressive. He led Jackson Academy to back-to-back overall state championships before coaching at the University of Miami, with the Washington Wizards in the NBA, at Mississippi State, and then for more than two decades at Florida State. In 2019, he was inducted into the inaugural class of the College Basketball Assistant Coach Hall of Fame. He has coached at levels most of us only watch from a distance. I admire those accomplishments, and I value what he taught the people who worked and played for him even more.

I can say without a doubt that Coach Jones is one of the best coaches I have ever seen. His playbook was about as thick as a Sears catalog and probably could have been used as a boat anchor. I studied it all the time because he expected every player to know not only what they were supposed to do, but what the other four players were supposed to do as well. He wanted us to understand how the whole team worked together.

Then there were his motivational talks. Listening to Coach Jones could give you chill bumps. His players would have run through a wall for him because they knew how much he believed in them and how much he expected of them. Even while challenging us to give our best, he showed us what servant leadership should look like, and was the model of what transformational leadership is.

Coach Jones knew far more than plays. Inside and outside the gym, he held people to high expectations and treated them with respect. He valued execution, and he valued the people doing the work. You never had to guess where you stood with him. He could be brutally honest, but he was fair, and he was willing to listen when you saw something differently. As a young assistant, I was learning how to coach basketball, and I was learning just as much about how to work with people.

Coach Jones would often say, “Be the best,” “Don’t stop believing,” and “Never forget where you came from.” I have carried those words with me long after my coaching days. They have encouraged me through challenges in education and leadership, and they have mattered at home as well. He pushed people to reach for more while reminding them to stay grounded and remember those who helped them along the way.

He also showed me how much a person can accomplish without holding the head coach’s title. Coach Jones had already been a successful head coach when he became a college assistant. For nearly three decades, he helped build programs, prepare teams, and develop players from that role. His example taught me to give my best to the work in front of me and to invest in the people beside me.

As a lifelong mentor, Stan has helped shape the future through the many people he has influenced. We need to remember the value of that kind of leadership and offer it to others. Leadership needs more people like Coach Stan Jones.

I have shared this quote from the movie The Emperor’s Club before, and I believe it speaks to Coach Jones’s influence too:

“A great teacher has little external history to record. His life goes over into other lives. These men are pillars in the intimate structure of our schools. They are more essential than its stones or beams, and they will continue to be a kindling force and a revealing power in our lives.”

I hope you have a mentor in your life like the ones I have had and still have. We need people who will invest in us, regardless of our age, so that we can invest in others. That is true in coaching, education, and every other part of life.

When I think back to that table at Shoney’s, I smile. I was in awe of Coach Jones then, and I was just beginning to learn who he was. His last interview question was about standing up for a team. His example over the years has taught me much more: to be dependable, to give my best, to keep believing, and to care for people beyond the role they play.

Coach Jones, thank you for giving me the job. Thank you even more for the conversations, the lessons, your example, and a friendship I will always value. I am a better person because our paths crossed. Seeing hundreds of people gather to honor him reminded me that many others could say the same. I hope I can pass along even a smidgen of the influence he has given me.

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2026 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or on FaceBook at J Clay Norton or follow the blog directly.

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Narcissism: From Decay to Destruction in Leadership.. Born of Selfish Pride

19 Friday Sep 2025

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Attitude, Character, Christian Worldview, Culture, Decay, Decisions, Decline, Disaster, Educational Leadership, Empathy, Facade, Humility, Influence, Narcissism

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AuthenticLeadership, business, CharacterMatters, Education, Educational Leadership, EgoVsHumility, Humility, Leader, Leadership, LeadershipDevelopment, LeadershipMatters, Learning, Narcissism, PrideBeforeTheFall, Respect, school, SelflessLeadership, ServantLeadership, Teachers, teaching, toxic, ToxicLeadership, TransformationalLeadership

C. S. Lewis, in some of his sermons and in Mere Christianity1, described pride as “the great sin.” Unlike other vices, pride stands in direct opposition to God because it refuses to acknowledge anything greater than itself. Yet it is important to distinguish between two forms of pride. A healthy sense of self-pride, rooted in the acknowledgment of God-given worth and responsibility, is not wrong. In fact, it equips leaders to carry their responsibilities with courage and stewardship. But… when pride distorts into selfish pride, it eclipses truth, humility, and service. Lewis noted that pride thrives in comparison; it is never content with being good or accomplished, but only in being better than others. Such pride blinds a person to truth and breeds contempt for those they are meant to serve. What Lewis made clear is that selfish pride is not just a character flaw; it is the root of spiritual decay.

Lewis’ warning about spiritual decay finds a striking parallel in leadership. I’m sure we all have our own definition of what narcissism is, but in my own summation, narcissism is an excessive preoccupation with self, marked by entitlement, a hunger for admiration, and a lack of empathy. I’ll go ahead and ask the question now, “Do you know anyone like this?”

In practice, this reveals itself not as guidance but as domination. A narcissistic leader seeks followers, not partners. They crave admiration rather than accountability. Instead of building others up, they drain their teams through manipulation and the constant need for validation. Over time, this dismantles trust. Where vision and service should flourish, control and fear take their place, creating a toxic environment. As Lewis warned, pride always leads to enmity… enmity between man and man, and between man and God. Ultimately, narcissistic leadership destroys the very community it was entrusted to grow. What often goes unseen is that narcissism is not born of strength but of insecurity… the louder the ego demands admiration, the weaker the foundation it is hiding.

This kind of destruction rarely begins with open arrogance; it begins quietly. We often hear that there is a fine line between ideas, ideals, and ideology, and just as the line between healthy self-pride and destructive selfish pride grows ever thinner, it is along that fragile divide that narcissism quietly takes root. True self-pride affirms God-given identity and responsibility, but selfish pride inflates the ego until it eclipses everything else, even the heart. That distortion gives birth to narcissism, and when it goes unchecked, it erodes the very foundations of leadership.

Yet having a Christian worldview foundation points us in a better way. Christlike, servant-based leadership offers a stark contrast: humility, service, and sacrifice. True leaders draw strength not from self-exaltation but from self-forgetfulness. As Lewis observed, “the truly humble man will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.” Such leaders recognize their worth in God and extend that recognition to others. In this light, self-pride does not become arrogance but stewardship, the courage to carry responsibility without turning it into a throne, worshiped only by selfish pride, that only a narcissist can sit on.

When self-pride morphs into selfish pride, narcissism becomes the master. Leadership ceases to serve a higher purpose and instead serves only the leader’s ego. In that shift, both the leader and the community lose their way. Lewis captured it perfectly: “A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” Leadership dies in the gaze of narcissism, but it flourishes in humility.

1Lewis, C. S. (1952). Mere Christianity. Geoffrey Bles.

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2025 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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A Leadership Thought with Amazon’s Smile Logo…

13 Friday Dec 2024

Posted by The Book Chamber in Attitude, Christmas, Circumstances, Joy, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Relationships, Smile

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business, Education, Educational Leadership, Leader, Leadership, Learning, management, news, Respect, school, Teachers, teaching

Ever notice how many Amazon trucks, vans, and third-party Amazon distributors are on the road? And now that it’s December, they seem to be everywhere. I even see them in my sleep. I think one of their drivers lives in my neighborhood; I see him so much. Do any of you have the same thought? But it’s not the truck or the van I see; it’s the smile logo from A to Z. Logos are meant to create mental images and thoughts. They are brands that sear into our minds. So, the Amazon logo…

A cheerful arrow that smiles from A to Z. As leaders I believe we can learn much from Amazon’s iconic design logo. It’s a reminder that leadership, much like online shopping, is about delivering on promises with a smile, even if the smile sometimes hides the chaos behind the scenes.

From A to Z, it catches every letter in between, from beginning to end. What if we replace the A to Z with the idea of January to December, with all the months in between, keeping that smile all year long as the Amazon logo inspires us?

January gives us a “new year, new me” mentality. December gives us last-minute, I hope it gets here by Christmas, Prime orders :). But at every stop in between, each month gives us a year-long leadership adventure. By the time Christmas is here, the year is basically over. Christmas offers us a time to begin reflecting on the true leadership gifts we have been given and those we’ve provided; time, guidance, understanding, compassion, etc., and just maybe the occasional opportunity to bring in a dad joke…

As December is upon us, and we do reflect, how many of the above were we a part of, not just in the Christmas season of December but all year long? Leadership, like Christmas, thrives on connection. Just like the Amazon logo, leadership delivers a smile that should be January to February. More importantly, it delivers joy and results.

So, as the year wraps up, channel your inner Amazon logo: keep that smile going from January to December, from everything where kickoffs begin to year-end wrap-ups. Remember, a leader who smiles inspires others to do the same. And who couldn’t use a little more joy—especially when unwrapping life’s surprises?

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2024 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

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Leadership and Warning Labels – What is your message?

21 Friday Apr 2023

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Attitude, Authentic, Conflict, Consistency, Decisions, Education, Educational Leadership, Influence, Insecurity, Integrity, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Passive-Agressive, Perception, Perceptions, Sensitive

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When is the last time you read a warning label on a product? Some are quite funny, while others seem plain dumb with the question, “Who would do that anyway?” But nonetheless, they are printed right there on the product (fine print sometimes).

Here are just a few…
A cup of coffee – Caution, content may be hot.
Hairdryer – Do no use while sleeping
Wheelbarrow – Not intended for highway use
Baby Stroller – Remove child before folding
Nyquil – May cause drowsiness

You get the idea. I often wonder who made the particular blunder for that specific warning label?

personalized-ansi-warning-label-lb-3457-w

Segue to leadership…
It is often said that perception is not reality. But can everybody be wrong? A very good friend of mine says, “Everybody can’t be wrong about the same thing.” Perception becomes a way of understanding or interpreting things. At the same time, reality is the state of things as they actually exist rather than as they may be perceived or might be imagined. That said, what if we had a warning label about us for others to see printed right there on the package, that package being us?

Here might be a few…
Warning:
Do not think on your own – I micromanage
Do not disagree with me – I am moody
Do not cause conflict – I am insecure
Do not outshine me – I am passive-aggressive
Do not have a different opinion – I am highly flammable
Please handle with care – I get my feelings hurt easily
Be a yes person – If you are not, I will find fault
I’m sure you can add to the list…

How refreshing would it be if these warning labels were reversed?
Warning:
Think on your own – I delegate
It’s ok to disagree with me – Does not mean that you are wrong
Sometimes there will be conflict – I will not run from it, and I will support you
Outshine me – The better you are, the better we are
Have a different opinion – I encourage diverse thinking
Please handle with honesty – I will not get my feelings hurt easily
Do not be a yes person – I do not want minions around me

However, I believe the leadership we lead with does carry labels. You might say, “Well, that’s not how I lead,” or “I don’t care what someone else thinks.” But at the same time, we would quickly say that’s not the reputation we want. Well, is everyone wrong, then?

What are you doing to ensure that you have positive leadership labels instead of warning labels? In the end, we are all wearing some type of leadership label. The question is, what does your leadership label say about you?

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2023 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

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