Category Archives: Listening

Is There a Lost Camaraderie of Teaching?

19 Friday Aug 2022

Posted by in Camaraderie, Family, Friendship, Listening, Relationships, Sincerity, Teachers, Thankful, Time, Trust

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In writing last week, I mentioned I attended the memorial of one of my mentors, Dr. Gerald Hasselman. During the memorial, I looked around and realized I was sitting in an ocean of educational greatness. More importantly, I realized that these people’s friendship and camaraderie have stayed and tested time. 

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Riding home, I thought about my teacher friendships that have also moved with time. Yes, these core friends will drop anything to help. I also realized that teacher friendships and relationships are becoming a “thing of the past.” I remember early on in teaching, at the end of the day, we would “hang around and visit” for a little while. Slower days, they were, I guess. 

I asked one of them the other day, “Reckon why?” As we talked, we came up with several ideas. 

Teachers…

Did not move schools as much as they do today.

Lived in the community of the school.

Went to the same church.

Children were the same age.

… and a few more I’m sure you can come up with.

More than anything else, we decided that our lives did not have the hustle and bustle they do today. There are so many “things” we are involved in with ourselves or with our families. What’s an average day going home…? Get to the bank or the cleaners before they close, run by the grocery store to pick up something for supper, get children to practice for whatever sport they are in, check/go over your children’s homework, etc. And… the best school taboos… An hour and a half faculty meeting, get home to get tomorrow’s lesson ready, grade papers, etc… Before you know it, it’s time to shower and go to bed (and don’t forget to ask how your spouse’s day went).

Now, I want to get home as quickly as anyone, but… we are losing one of our greatest educational strengths – each other. Who better understands us than other teachers? At the end of the school day, the bell rings, and we hear, “See you tomorrow.” Social media and texting have taken the place of conversations that includes the going on’s of your family, not the smack talk of gossip. Having another teacher listen and ask questions, connect mentally, provide realness, offer help, and celebrate is the camaraderie we are missing.

As the school year begins, make an effort to have camaraderie with your colleagues. There will be some you do not “click” with, and that’s ok. However, you will appreciate the social and emotional side of your well-being when you do find those with whom you do “click,” and your friendship stays intentional. 

Two more thoughts for this blog stand out as we close…

  1. For the Andy Griffith fans out there, the episode of “What’s Your Hurry” comes to mind. 
  2. For the “Toy Story” fans, with Andy and Buzz… “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.”

Both of these practiced intentionally, can be of great help.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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Getting rid of the bitter taste of leadership…

05 Friday Nov 2021

Posted by in Actions, Bitterness, Character, Communication, Decisions, Effective, Facade, Intentions, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Love, Transparent, Uncategorized, Vision

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Ugh… that tastes bitter. Even worse, that bitter taste can sometimes linger, and it begins to be all we think about; talk about distracting. It will probably hinder us from tasting the good of other things also.

But… what does bitter look like? Good question. Better yet, what does bitter leadership look like, and why is it such a thing? First, what is bitterness? A quick lookup gives this definition – having a sharp, pungent taste or smell, not sweet. Hello… not sweet, pungent… Talk about a bad quality of leadership… How about this statement, “I have a bitter taste in my mouth about…” Yep, been there, said that. Pungent… doesn’t even sound like a good word to say.

I would say, most of the time, our bitterness is always going to be with something or someone else. It mostly comes with disappointments which leads to frustrations, not only with yourself but others. Bitterness in your life affects so many things; confidence, mood, performance, likeability, respect… most of all, love. It deprives the sweetness of what leadership should be.

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One area I see bitterness is in leaders who only think their way is “the only way.” They lead with blinders that prevent them from seeing anything anyone else has to say. By default, others begin to question, respect is lost, and their leadership becomes a facade, seen right through. I guess, in the end, bitterness comes and goes, but the effects can last much longer. A full circle runs through all people, especially when we do not get our way.

So… how can we fight bitterness? I am not sure there is an absolute answer. However, I have seen enough leaders with bitterness that I have some ideas on how I do not want to lead. First, be open to ideas and not have a closed-mind set. Second, be transparent with your leadership. If we can incorporate both of these concepts in our leadership, we will lead better, and others will not have to be bitter because you are.

Go figure and it sounds easy. However, when our EGO gets in the way, bitterness is going to taste bad. Let’s lead with a sweetness.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on…

Twitter @thebookchamber

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Valentine’s Musings…

11 Thursday Feb 2021

Posted by in Actions, Family, Heart, Listening, Love, Relationships

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Valentine’s…

The day we are told to celebrate our love for others…

Chocolates, flowers, and cards… Priced much higher than usual, just to show how much more we love for only one day? It is amazing to me how the price suddenly drops on February 15.

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Those chocolates taste the same, you know, and they are 75% off. You can truly get an assortment of assorted flavors. Also, you don’t feel bad about not liking a particular type and spitting it out. Paying full price makes you eat the ones you don’t care for.

And the flowers… aka ROSES. Yes, the ones that will die, even if you do use the plant food packet that comes with it… don’t we know they are dead already when they are cut? I tell Heather, “I’ll buy you a rose bush… that way we can plant it, and you can have roses anytime you want, all year long. You pick out the spot, and I’ll dig the hole.” Now that’s what I call love.

And the cards… You know the ones that bring the response, “Oh, that was so sweet of you.” The funny thing about cards… Someone else is really doing the talking for $7.95, and three days later… the garbage can. And if it is not a Hallmark, well… you just didn’t “…care enough to send the very best.”

I know… but you are saying, “It’s the thought that counts.”

Yes, the thought… Where is that same thought for the other 364 days of the year?

The thought… Why don’t we ever say, “It’s the action that counts.” Is love not suppose to be a verb, the action of doing? I can think a lot of stuff, but if action is never there, then what good is the thought. It just falls on deaf ears, mine and yours alone.

So, what does love look like in action? I cannot answer that for you, nor can you answer that for me. What works for you might not work for me and vice versa. But I do have some ideas…

Love…
Makes the bed, picks up in the house, does the laundry, feeds the dogs, bathes the dogs, sacrifices their time for others, watches an action-killing movie instead of a chick-flick (or the other way around), goes to the grocery store, takes walks, rides bikes, drives the vehicle because you don’t like to drive, plans meals to make sure we eat healthy, empties the dishwasher, holds your hand, brags on you, provides a Godly example to our daughter, prays for the family… Love will even read your blog on Thursday nights to make sure it is all in order.

Love can also listen, laugh, and even cry. But more important than all of the above…

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…” (I Corinthians 13:4-8b, ESV).

Happy Valentine’s Day

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Teacher and student rapport, how is it in your classroom?

22 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by in Attention, Attitude, Communication, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Reflection, Relationships

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As a teacher, have you really ever listened to what students talk about? Believe it or not, there are some pretty good conversations out there. A casual “ear to the ground” can let you know a lot about what is happening up and down the halls and in classrooms. For some reason, it seems to me, we do not give students enough credit sometimes to be able to think on a more mature level. Now, I am not saying that we should always provide them with a platform, but just listening and acknowledging goes a long way.

For example… the other day, I heard a student talking about another student’s conversation and their teacher in class. Work with me here; you know how this will go… it is worthy of being a case study…

Teacher… Here are the directions. Don’t ask me again, because I am not going to repeat them.
A few seconds go by…
Student… Could you please say what you said again?
Teacher… No, you should have been listening.
Student gets upset.
The teacher sends the student to the office.
The student is now out of class.
Much time has now passed.
The administration walks the student back to class.
Instruction time is stopped again.
Administration, teacher, student all get on the same page.
The teacher gives students the needed information.
The student goes back to class.
All is good?

Wow, know any teachers like this? Ok… I know we all want students to be attentive. My question is, why and how did it get to that point? I know we all want them to come in, sit down, be quiet, sit appropriately, etc. However…

If this is the worst thing you have to deal with, you have it pretty good as a teacher. So the student asked again. Did you set the stage for all of them to pay attention, to begin with? What did you do to help? It would have taken little to no effort to restate the directions. The teacher could have spun it to be a teachable moment of comedy. The teacher could have even gone back to the student’s desk and had a one on one moment. I don’t know, but telling the student no, did not help anyone.

Another question I have is what type of rapport are you establishing with that student and others? Remember, everyone in the class saw and heard the teacher’s response, and you know how student talk gets spread…

I do not know what was going on with the student or the teacher that day. I do not know why the situation had to escalate as it did. I know that we can get aggravated with students. But… I do know that in the end, the teacher had the opportunity to be the bigger, better person.

I have said this before, “If you can create an environment where your students feel invited, regardless of the subject you teach, they are going to give you more than a fair shake.” Be the teacher your students need. It will make a huge difference.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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