Category Archives: Listening

Getting rid of the bitter taste of leadership…

05 Friday Nov 2021

Posted by in Actions, Bitterness, Character, Communication, Decisions, Effective, Facade, Intentions, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Love, Transparent, Uncategorized, Vision

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Ugh… that tastes bitter. Even worse, that bitter taste can sometimes linger, and it begins to be all we think about; talk about distracting. It will probably hinder us from tasting the good of other things also.

But… what does bitter look like? Good question. Better yet, what does bitter leadership look like, and why is it such a thing? First, what is bitterness? A quick lookup gives this definition – having a sharp, pungent taste or smell, not sweet. Hello… not sweet, pungent… Talk about a bad quality of leadership… How about this statement, “I have a bitter taste in my mouth about…” Yep, been there, said that. Pungent… doesn’t even sound like a good word to say.

I would say, most of the time, our bitterness is always going to be with something or someone else. It mostly comes with disappointments which leads to frustrations, not only with yourself but others. Bitterness in your life affects so many things; confidence, mood, performance, likeability, respect… most of all, love. It deprives the sweetness of what leadership should be.

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One area I see bitterness is in leaders who only think their way is “the only way.” They lead with blinders that prevent them from seeing anything anyone else has to say. By default, others begin to question, respect is lost, and their leadership becomes a facade, seen right through. I guess, in the end, bitterness comes and goes, but the effects can last much longer. A full circle runs through all people, especially when we do not get our way.

So… how can we fight bitterness? I am not sure there is an absolute answer. However, I have seen enough leaders with bitterness that I have some ideas on how I do not want to lead. First, be open to ideas and not have a closed-mind set. Second, be transparent with your leadership. If we can incorporate both of these concepts in our leadership, we will lead better, and others will not have to be bitter because you are.

Go figure and it sounds easy. However, when our EGO gets in the way, bitterness is going to taste bad. Let’s lead with a sweetness.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Valentine’s Musings…

11 Thursday Feb 2021

Posted by in Actions, Family, Heart, Listening, Love, Relationships

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Valentine’s…

The day we are told to celebrate our love for others…

Chocolates, flowers, and cards… Priced much higher than usual, just to show how much more we love for only one day? It is amazing to me how the price suddenly drops on February 15.

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Those chocolates taste the same, you know, and they are 75% off. You can truly get an assortment of assorted flavors. Also, you don’t feel bad about not liking a particular type and spitting it out. Paying full price makes you eat the ones you don’t care for.

And the flowers… aka ROSES. Yes, the ones that will die, even if you do use the plant food packet that comes with it… don’t we know they are dead already when they are cut? I tell Heather, “I’ll buy you a rose bush… that way we can plant it, and you can have roses anytime you want, all year long. You pick out the spot, and I’ll dig the hole.” Now that’s what I call love.

And the cards… You know the ones that bring the response, “Oh, that was so sweet of you.” The funny thing about cards… Someone else is really doing the talking for $7.95, and three days later… the garbage can. And if it is not a Hallmark, well… you just didn’t “…care enough to send the very best.”

I know… but you are saying, “It’s the thought that counts.”

Yes, the thought… Where is that same thought for the other 364 days of the year?

The thought… Why don’t we ever say, “It’s the action that counts.” Is love not suppose to be a verb, the action of doing? I can think a lot of stuff, but if action is never there, then what good is the thought. It just falls on deaf ears, mine and yours alone.

So, what does love look like in action? I cannot answer that for you, nor can you answer that for me. What works for you might not work for me and vice versa. But I do have some ideas…

Love…
Makes the bed, picks up in the house, does the laundry, feeds the dogs, bathes the dogs, sacrifices their time for others, watches an action-killing movie instead of a chick-flick (or the other way around), goes to the grocery store, takes walks, rides bikes, drives the vehicle because you don’t like to drive, plans meals to make sure we eat healthy, empties the dishwasher, holds your hand, brags on you, provides a Godly example to our daughter, prays for the family… Love will even read your blog on Thursday nights to make sure it is all in order.

Love can also listen, laugh, and even cry. But more important than all of the above…

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…” (I Corinthians 13:4-8b, ESV).

Happy Valentine’s Day

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Teacher and student rapport, how is it in your classroom?

22 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by in Attention, Attitude, Communication, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Reflection, Relationships

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As a teacher, have you really ever listened to what students talk about? Believe it or not, there are some pretty good conversations out there. A casual “ear to the ground” can let you know a lot about what is happening up and down the halls and in classrooms. For some reason, it seems to me, we do not give students enough credit sometimes to be able to think on a more mature level. Now, I am not saying that we should always provide them with a platform, but just listening and acknowledging goes a long way.

For example… the other day, I heard a student talking about another student’s conversation and their teacher in class. Work with me here; you know how this will go… it is worthy of being a case study…

Teacher… Here are the directions. Don’t ask me again, because I am not going to repeat them.
A few seconds go by…
Student… Could you please say what you said again?
Teacher… No, you should have been listening.
Student gets upset.
The teacher sends the student to the office.
The student is now out of class.
Much time has now passed.
The administration walks the student back to class.
Instruction time is stopped again.
Administration, teacher, student all get on the same page.
The teacher gives students the needed information.
The student goes back to class.
All is good?

Wow, know any teachers like this? Ok… I know we all want students to be attentive. My question is, why and how did it get to that point? I know we all want them to come in, sit down, be quiet, sit appropriately, etc. However…

If this is the worst thing you have to deal with, you have it pretty good as a teacher. So the student asked again. Did you set the stage for all of them to pay attention, to begin with? What did you do to help? It would have taken little to no effort to restate the directions. The teacher could have spun it to be a teachable moment of comedy. The teacher could have even gone back to the student’s desk and had a one on one moment. I don’t know, but telling the student no, did not help anyone.

Another question I have is what type of rapport are you establishing with that student and others? Remember, everyone in the class saw and heard the teacher’s response, and you know how student talk gets spread…

I do not know what was going on with the student or the teacher that day. I do not know why the situation had to escalate as it did. I know that we can get aggravated with students. But… I do know that in the end, the teacher had the opportunity to be the bigger, better person.

I have said this before, “If you can create an environment where your students feel invited, regardless of the subject you teach, they are going to give you more than a fair shake.” Be the teacher your students need. It will make a huge difference.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Expiration Dates and Fresh Leadership…

23 Friday Oct 2020

Posted by in Decisions, Effective, Expiration dates, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Servant

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The other night I was getting a glass of milk before I went to bed and finished the container; there was not much left. I went to get another container out of the other fridge, and as I bent over to get it, there it was… the expiration date, staring me in the face. Somehow the lettering seemed much larger and more significant than it had in the past. I said to myself, “October 23, wow… I can literally live my days marked out on time based on milk carton expiration dates.”

Others in my household will look at the expiration date, on any item, on the day of and immediately say, “I’m throwing this out. It has expired.” I look at the date and say, “Let me see,” taste it and say, “It’s still good.” The way I look at it is expiration dates just mean hurry up.

Smart shoppers check expiration dates at the grocery store. Why would you not? We really do want fresh items. You know what? We really want everything fresh, even leadership. However, it is too bad that leadership does not have a stamp on it, letting others know that the particular leadership style is about to be or already is… growing stale, stale, about to expire or even has.

So, how do we know if leadership is expired or growing stale? To answer that question, we must look at the leader themselves and the trend they promote. Strong leadership with a growth mindset that does not keep repeatedly doing the same old thing over and over is what people want. Remember, the worst words in leadership are, “We have always done it this way.” Now, that does not mean we change ideas and concepts that are working and for the good of others, but…

Leadership that has worked in the past often does not work now. Leadership that works now does not mean it will work in the future.

Fresh leadership finds a way of keeping good ideas previously used on the cutting edge, changing and tweaking it here and there as needed. While at the same time, leaders who involve others in “talks” and actually listen will find support to continually move forward with new ideas and help foster current and future success. And please, acknowledge good ideas from others and give them credit. It will do wonders for your credibility.

As we all live our lives, we “clock” it by some time factor. And then I began to think more (this is where many of my problems occur)… How much time after the expiration date is the milk still good. Well, that answer depends on how much you like soured milk. I guess at some point, it will become undrinkable, but who knows. And just like milk, leadership will eventually sour as well. Don’t let your leadership expire…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2020 J Clay Norton

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