Category Archives: Communication

Things We All Need More Of…

12 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by in Actions, Adventure, Affection, Attitude, Balance, Communication, Conversations, Dignity, Expectations, Giving, Heart, Importance, Leader, Leadership, Purpose, Relationships, Rest, Understanding, Value

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I saw this picture on Twitter the other day and began to think of how each item is necessary to battle the need for quality leadership in today’s society. Being in a leadership position, we are pulled and sometimes pushed in many different directions. Some voluntarily, some not so much.

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While each of these pics are sweet and cute, the leadership behind them can be influential in our daily fight. We need more of each of these…

Adventures

We need one or two things that allow us to escape the mundane activities of everyday life. While our jobs are somewhat labeled as day to day activities, it can and does get monotonous. Having an adventure allows us to breathe a little easier and push our minds to a different level. It gives you a sense of mental freedom.

Good Sleep

Yep… We all need it, and we all want more of it.  Now, how to get it? I am not sure I have an answer. However, you and I know when we get a good night’s sleep. We are pushed to the max on a daily basis. We go to bed with “stuff” on our minds.  We toss and turn, here and there, as much as being pushed and pulled like we are when we are awake. Typically, something has to give in your life to ease your mind. It is up to you to decide that.

Warm Hugs

The older I get, the more I want to be around like-minded, kindred-spirited people (I have said this before).  Now, we are probably not going to give or receive “warm hugs” everytime we want, but I believe we can broaden the tagline to just being around people who make you feel better about yourself.  I am sure each of us can attest to “having” to be around others that we do not want to be around. Odds are they are not going to give you that warm hug, but more likely an icy stare or a cold shoulder. Be intentional about the people you are around. It says a lot about you.

Interesting Conversations

I like this one.  Interesting conversations help the brain and maybe the heart. What are interesting conversations? You have to decide. However, I can tell you what they are not. Interesting conversations are not about yourself, others, gossip, complaints, fluff, etc. These conversations are easy to see and hear. They are the conversations that are hand-mouthed in hush tones, behind closed doors or loud enough, so others have to listen to them. Interesting conversations mean something and have value. They solve problems. They are for the good of yourself and others together.

Laughter

Laughter is great.  We have memorable moments that make us chuckle. We read something funny. We watch slap-stick comedy.  The things that make us laugh are different for everyone.  Someone said, “Laughter is good for the soul.”  Any way you look at it, laughter is good. Have you ever laughed at something terrible? Probably not. Just remember though, it is not very leadership like to laugh at the expense of others. You sure would not want them to laugh at you.

Happy Dances

Do not read this and say you have never done a little dance step.  I have. You have too. Usually, it is when something good comes to mind as a happy thought, an upbeat song, an accomplishment. I would even broaden this tagline to include the “fist-pump.” A happy dance celebrates good things, and sometimes that is just what each of us needs. Go ahead, dance.

Leadership, in general, is a daily grind and the struggle is real.  Leaders get down. Sometimes I find all it takes are the little, small things that encourage. We need to have some of the above thoughts in our lives.  If we do not, then we cannot help others because we cannot help ourselves.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

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“You and We” vs “I and Me”

21 Friday Sep 2018

Posted by in Actions, Attitude, Authentic, Character, Communication, Leader, Leadership, Purpose, Relationships, Servant, Understanding

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It is such a simple thing, not one that really stands out to be said or heard, but what it means and how it is perceived can likely determine what type of leader you are.

Simple words… “You and We” vs “I and Me.”

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When we listen to those in leadership, what do we hear?  Depends on what type of leader you are or have.  Do they speak with what I like to call the language of “selfology.”

If we listen carefully, attentively, we can hear it more often then we think.  It does not take long to hear the words of I, me, my, mine… They are the words of taking credit. Words that “I” need to make “me” look good…  When this happens, leaders undermine not only the work but also the character and respect of others.

When voiced out loud, corporately, the stage is set for only one entertainer.  There is no need for a three-ring circus. Only one tent for the person who speaks “selfology.” Leaders who use that language are plagued with insecurity issues that keep them wanting the spotlight deserving for others.  Too many times, they have to roar, flex their muscles, let everyone know they are in charge; only to eventually have their audience slowly walk out and find somewhere else where they can be acknowledged and appreciated.

“I and Me” leaders number one mindset is to convince themselves that they are the ones who make things happen. Every day they allow their ego to get in the way for other’s successes. They are the leaders who say they have the answers. It is as though they believe that others are there for their benefit and not the other way around.

Servant leaders intentionally make a point to use “othersology” speech: we, you, our.. and they want to; from the heart and not the mind. Rather than me, it is we. Rather than I, it is you. Rather than mine, it is ours.  Why… because they do not feel threatened.  They are comfortable enough in their own skin that enables others to be in the spotlight.

Think about it this way… A great friend and mentor in my life once told me, “Unfortunately, there are those who ‘push others down’ out of petty jealousy and small-mindedness. Beware of those who look to make a name for themselves on the bones of others.”

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

Follow me on Twitter at TheBookChamber

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GPS Leadership

20 Friday Jul 2018

Posted by in Actions, Attitude, Clarity, Communication, Family, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Perseverance, Trust

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This past week, our family had the opportunity to travel to Los Angeles, CA.  My wife had a counseling conference to attend, and my daughter and I made it a vacation.  Now, if you have never driven in LA, then you do not know what you are missing.  The rumors are true.  It is slam packed, turtle moving, and prayers needed. We had to make a lot of Ninja and Jedi moves to get to the correct turns sometimes.

We rented a car and used the GPS on our phones for directions.  As I reflect, I found a lot of leadership lessons from the trip and the GPS.

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Good leaders need a great wingman.

I found myself a few times telling my wife or daughter, “Talk to me Goose.” The classic line in Top Gun with Maverick and Goose.  They both did an excellent job in guiding me where we needed to go.  Leadership is like that.  There has to be trust and communication. You have to have someone on your side, by your side who is going to help you because it benefits the whole group, not just themselves.

Good leaders plan for the long road.

We were going to Anaheim one evening, a distance of only 26 miles.  1 hour and 39 minutes later, we arrived.  No one in LA says, “I’m just going to run over there real quick.” Leadership takes a look at what is ahead and determines the path to take.  It may be long, slow, stressful… but at least you are doing something.  Too many times, it is too easy to say no, let’s not do that.  It will take too long.

Good leaders sometimes make wrong turns.

Every day, I made at least one wrong turn.  LA is full of forks in the road and merger here and merge there lanes.  The great thing about missing a turn, the GPS will always recalculate.  That is what happens in leadership.  Sometimes leaders make a wrong turn, a bad decision, an oops and an opportunity to recalculate.  Let’s try that again.  Many times, on our wrong turns or missed exits, we were able to see something that was not planned.  A lot of great leadership decisions have been made in the same manner.

Our GPS made our trip all the more doable.  I would not want to drive in LA blind.  At the same time, I do not want to be leading blindly.  I am not a fan of the “let’s fly by the seat of our pants leadership.”  Too many bad things can happen.

Leaders need a good wingman, a plan for the long road, and an opportunity to recalculate.  If you do not, then you are leading alone, probably shortsighted, and think you never make mistakes.  If this is you, then stay out of everyone else’s lanes that know where they are going.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

Follow me on Twitter at TheBookChamber

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How Well Do You Listen and Can You Hear Me Now?

18 Friday May 2018

Posted by in Clarity, Communication, Heart, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Servant, Understanding

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Do you remember the Verizon Phone Company’s commercial of “Can you hear me now?” While that “jingle” might be slightly funny, the question itself with regards to leadership is profound. How many times, do others have conversations with us, and they walk away wondering if they were ever heard?

One of many essential characteristics of great leadership is listening. It sounds simple, but… as you well know, some leaders simply do not listen, or they do not listen as to understand. I believe that there are times when people come to us, they have something to say. They want our attention, and they know real quick if they have it or not.

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As I think about the different time’s people have wanted to speak with me, did I listen to hear? I can also ask that same question for when I wanted to be also heard. For those times when the answer was “no” in both cases, after hard lessons learned, I begin thinking of what type of listener leaders are and the type of listener I wanted to be.

To always keep it simple, I have three ideas about what type of ears a listener you may have…

CLOSED EARS

When a leader has closed ears, it is tough for others to talk to them. They cannot ask questions or explain anything. It becomes more of a task and chore. The issue here is with the listener. It has nothing to do with the person or what is being said. I believe there is a direct correlation between leaders with closed ears having a closed heart.

SELECTIVE EARS

We have all heard that notion of someone having selective hearing. Well, here it is. Leaders who have this, only listen to what they want to. They want to hear what is pleasing to them. Leaders like this will surround themselves with people who say the “right thing” and are basically “yes people.”

HEART EARS

For a portion of my life, I listened to others with my brain (and I am still guilty of it at times). Listening this way means I would think of how I would respond to the other person instead of listening with my heart to truly hear what they were saying. This is the type of listening leader we should strive to be, listening with heart ears.

What type of listener are you with your leadership? If you do not know, odds are others do. Like me, I am sure each of you can name a leader whose listening style reflects one of the above.

If leaders care for their people, then having heart ears is the only way to listen. You and everyone around you will be better for it.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

Follow me on Twitter at TheBookChamber

Subscribe via email to my blog at the top of the page