Category Archives: Communication

The Value of Tears…

29 Friday Apr 2022

Posted by in Actions, Affection, Clarity, Communication, Connections, Emotion, Heart, Leader, Leadership, Manipulation, Passion, Sensitive, Value

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caring-quote_a-trear-is-made-of-1-water-99-feelings-560d3I saw this quote the other day for the first time ever, “The most expensive liquid in the world is a tear, made up of 1% water & 99% feelings.” I’m not sure if you have ever seen or heard it, but… it got me thinking.

First, let me say that there are some who “cry” at the drop of a handkerchief and those who fake their tears to manipulate… I’m not here to discuss them. They do not deserve the thoughts…

My initial thought was that when we shed tears, we let go of a value for someone or something we have inside ourselves. I have cried for and cried at others, and I am sure others have done the same for and at me. Contrary to popular belief, I have an emotional, sensitive side. Just ask those closest to me. As I thought about the quote above, I realized how true it is. There are happy tears, sad tears, and angry tears, and all tears exhibit personal feelings that are ours alone.

One of the hardest things to do is fight back the tears. You might hear someone say, “This is not the time nor the place.” Well, I believe tears show our humanness and trust. Being able to shed tears allows others to see the courage we have and the passion we are comfortable admitting. When something or someone is really important to us, with emotions attached, our authenticity can be seen, and the value of what we hold dear comes out as tears.

Showing emotion is not a weakness. Tears equate to a conviction. Tears sometimes are the words that cannot be said. Yes, there might be some vulnerability to shedding tears. Still, it can show others that we are in touch with reality and provide “relateableness” (yes, I made that word up).

And as for leadership, I much rather be around those who can express and exhibit emotions. There’s a HUGE difference between that and a person who is just emotional. When it comes to that, those who can express themselves are usually those who respond, whereas the “emotional leader” will only react.

So… let yourself be who you are. If you shed tears, then go ahead. If you don’t, ok… But what not to do, is stereotype. Because the tears that belong to others, those tears are theirs, and only they can determine their value.

I end the blog with this quote… “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.” – Washington Irving

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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Getting rid of the bitter taste of leadership…

05 Friday Nov 2021

Posted by in Actions, Bitterness, Character, Communication, Decisions, Effective, Facade, Intentions, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Love, Transparent, Uncategorized, Vision

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Ugh… that tastes bitter. Even worse, that bitter taste can sometimes linger, and it begins to be all we think about; talk about distracting. It will probably hinder us from tasting the good of other things also.

But… what does bitter look like? Good question. Better yet, what does bitter leadership look like, and why is it such a thing? First, what is bitterness? A quick lookup gives this definition – having a sharp, pungent taste or smell, not sweet. Hello… not sweet, pungent… Talk about a bad quality of leadership… How about this statement, “I have a bitter taste in my mouth about…” Yep, been there, said that. Pungent… doesn’t even sound like a good word to say.

I would say, most of the time, our bitterness is always going to be with something or someone else. It mostly comes with disappointments which leads to frustrations, not only with yourself but others. Bitterness in your life affects so many things; confidence, mood, performance, likeability, respect… most of all, love. It deprives the sweetness of what leadership should be.

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One area I see bitterness is in leaders who only think their way is “the only way.” They lead with blinders that prevent them from seeing anything anyone else has to say. By default, others begin to question, respect is lost, and their leadership becomes a facade, seen right through. I guess, in the end, bitterness comes and goes, but the effects can last much longer. A full circle runs through all people, especially when we do not get our way.

So… how can we fight bitterness? I am not sure there is an absolute answer. However, I have seen enough leaders with bitterness that I have some ideas on how I do not want to lead. First, be open to ideas and not have a closed-mind set. Second, be transparent with your leadership. If we can incorporate both of these concepts in our leadership, we will lead better, and others will not have to be bitter because you are.

Go figure and it sounds easy. However, when our EGO gets in the way, bitterness is going to taste bad. Let’s lead with a sweetness.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on…

Twitter @thebookchamber

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Seeing Faces Again…

29 Friday Oct 2021

Posted by in Attitude, Character, Classroom Leadership, Classroom Management, Communication, Conversations, Education, Effective, Emotion, Engagement, Perceptions

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This past week our school district lifted the mask mandate that has been in place for a while. Now masks are encouraged and optional. Before I begin with the blog, let me say that these thoughts are not about the mask mandate itself. It is not about political or religious views, cultural differences, one’s belief system to be vaccinated or not, the science, or any other reason a person chooses to wear or not wear a mask. Today’s thoughts are about seeing facial expressions, and that’s it…

For the first time since March of 2019, educators in our school can now see the faces of many of our students, and it is refreshing. As a teacher, seeing the facial reaction of students can say a lot, especially when a student does not say much, to begin with. Outside of words, a person’s face is the next best communicator one has to express themselves. A student’s face conveys a wealth of information. It can help a teacher determine their mood, their engagement, their emotions… which leads to feedback, and that is what teachers want to see.

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One of the best attributes I think a teacher can have is having the capability to determine if they can see a student’s mind changing. Better yet, having those Jedi powers and “feel the force” of seeing the effect of mind-changing moments taking place. No more do we need to hold emoji flashcards to see what a student is experiencing. As an educator, seeing understanding or the lack of, on our students’ faces is key to how we continue our lessons many times. Do we go on, pause, restate, start over, etc…

On another note, think about this… Students can see your facial expressions also. As Haim Ginott said, “I’ve come to a frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It’s my personal approach that creates the climate. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather…” That personal approach is seen on our faces before we ever speak a word to our classes. What did/will your students see today in your class?

Facial expressions… yes, they communicate thoughts, good to be able to see them again.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on…

Twitter @thebookchamber

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The Need for Student-led Leadership…

22 Friday Oct 2021

Posted by in Communication, Importance, Influence, Intentions, Leader, Leadership, Opportunity, Presence, Relationships, Students, Teachers, Useful, Value

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This past Wednesday was our school’s monthly FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) Huddle meeting. As I sat in the back of the room with some other coaches, I realized we have a great group of students. Not just in FCA but all around in our school, belonging to other clubs, or just attending school. Yes, we have some great students.

However, what I realized sitting back, watching and listening, is the value of leadership and the opportunity these students have to be leaders in our school. So… that brings me to the thought of the need for student-led leadership in our schools…

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I believe there is somewhat of a direct correlation between the culture the school wants and the one that the student body embraces. One question that might have to be asked is how to get students to “buy-in” the culture school leaders want.

For this to happen, I believe it is essential for students to experience leadership opportunities that put them in positions to actually lead. Whatever, wherever, whenever that is, it must be an opportunity where the platform establishes quality leadership that coincides with the vision and the mission of the school.

When students are given the opportunity to lead, more relationships can be fostered. Our students are the best customers to sell the product of leadership that we want as educational leaders. They will reach far more than a single teacher ever can. If we want positive leadership to be a mainstay, our students are the best communicators, translators of our message. They are the ones who can “carry out” the leadership wants and needs of the school.

Just like quality adult leaders, students who communicate and lead effectively can be found to have many of the same traits; honesty, responsible, serving, open-mindedness, etc. But… they need examples, and we have to make sure we are doing and showing what we expect.

Having students who lead in our schools demonstrate an earned empowerment. In turn, they demonstrate and promote leadership at a level that encourages involvement and creates a positive atmosphere for the whole school setting. As the educational leaders of our school, let’s find ways to help empower our students to be leaders, and I believe it starts in the classrooms. Yes, they will need to be supported and encouraged, but is that not part of “jobs” as educators?

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on…

Twitter @thebookchamber

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…