Category Archives: Value

Genuine kindness – Where did it go?

29 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by in Appreciation, Conversations, Culture, Decisions, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Mask, Message, Relationships, Value

≈ 6 Comments

Today’s world comes at us every morning with the dog-eat-dog mentality. I have to get what is mine. Yes, I will speak to you or nod your way, but to genuinely acknowledge where the other person felt kindness… not so much. Why? Where did society take a wrong turn, and genuine kindness got left behind.

A few thoughts before I get into my other thoughts…
One, I believe technology has really hurt society in this area. Yes, there are many good, quality aspects of technology… but ultimately, what I see has happened is people are now able to hide behind their keyboards and type what they wish they could say but are afraid of the ramifications. It is almost as if the keyboard is the mask of insecurity they wear.

Ok… enough. Get to the kindness…
I heard Billy Joel’s song the other day, “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” and there is one line in the song… “I can’t take it anymore.” Well, that is often how I feel. We cannot escape… The radio, the TV, the social media, the complainers, the _________.

Ok… the kindness…
Why can’t we just be kind? It might take some effort, but it beats not being kind. Where has that ever gotten anyone?

Kindness is never arrogant. Kindness is humility. Knowing no one is really any better. Find what works for individuals and build a relationship. Quit the “me!” Try having a true interest in others. Not what you can get from them, but what they can give. That’s genuine kindness.

Say thank you that shows value… yes, appreciation. We are so worried that we are not going to get the recognition we deserve. Who cares besides you? One day, someone is going to throw that plaque in the garbage anyway. Genuine kindness celebrates others and fosters success for them.

It does not take long to figure out when kindness is not in the air. It just doesn’t smell right. You know that smell… the smell of “stuff-upedness.”
It is very hard to have a connection with others when that odor is around. As soon as they walk in the door, they say, “You smell something?”

I truly believe genuine kindness helps people motivate themselves. And when that happens, empowerment is felt and seen. Trust and respect take on new definitions, and results are an after product instead of a grind.

Quick question… You want to know if your kindness is genuine? Quick answer with a question… Are others inspired because of you?

In the end, kindness puts others first. I’m talking about leadership here… Your leadership message is for others, not you. Genuine kindness has the ability to relate to others—more about them, less about you.

Genuine kindness – where did it go? It really never left. Maybe we just forgot it was there. Genuine kindness is good for you and good for others.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Passion and the Why – Is it good or bad?

15 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by in Actions, Agenda, Attitude, Authentic, Character, Choice, Deciding, Decisions, Emotion, Know Your Why, Leader, Leadership, Motivation, Passion, Perception, Value

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In last week’s blog, I wrote on “Decision Making – Emotional or Factual?” One of the three areas where I believe decisions are made is with passion. A few people commented on it enough that I thought I would just use “passion” for our topic this week.

Going along with the title, is your “passion” for what you believe in good or bad? How you answer this, I know, is based on one’s perception and relativeness. However, I also know that putting perception and relativeness aside, your passion is defined by your values and even more by your core values. One of my great mentors at Mississippi College stated, “Values are what you believe in, core values are where you draw the line in the sand.”

A few friends emailed or stopped by to discuss “passion” as they see it regarding making decisions. Here are a few specific comments…

“To take positions we have to take for our clients, I must not only believe in the “rightness” of that position, but I need to have some passion for advancing that position… There are sometimes I do not believe in the “rightness” of what they wanted me to advance. The facts didn’t ‘geehaw’ with my core beliefs.”

“My experience is that some measure of passion for your positions on issues and core beliefs is necessary; otherwise, you come across as passive and lack genuineness.”

“It’s when passion is inappropriately expressed does it become detrimental. However, when you can exhibit passion properly (non-inflammatory), can passion help your cause.”

These are “spot on” with my belief as well on passion. Our passion has to be for the right thing. The “right thing” is where it gets fuzzy… I would say that the “right thing” depends on your “why”… the outcome you want (tangibles and intangibles), goals, motivation, attitude, etc… Is it for good or bad? Do you want revenge or to promote unity? Is your passion for selfish reasons, or is it being for others? Mostly, what is your agenda? I believe these are underlying thoughts as to what “fuels” our passion.

Upon a little digging… “The root of the word “passion” is found in the Latin word “passio.” From the late 1500’s “passio” began to take on the meaning of emotion and, in some cases, controlled emotion. And now we know why passion can help or hurt… it all depends on the “why” and if it is controlled.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Friendship Thankfulness…

13 Friday Nov 2020

Posted by in Encouragement, Engagement, Friendship, Honest, Leadership, Relationships, Thankful, Thanksgiving, Transparent, Trust, Understanding, Value

≈ 6 Comments

In keeping with the theme of Thanksgiving…

This past Sunday, our pastor, in his sermon, alluded to the idea of what true friendship really is and is not. As I listened and thought about that idea this week, as always… “it got me to thinking.”

We all have friendships in our lives. They come and go, change, etc. As I look back, it is funny to see our “friendship map” and where it has taken us.

Friendship is tough to define. Often, our definition of friendship is what we make it in order to meet our needs at a specific time in our lives…

Anyway, as I have been thinking about friendships this week, I am very thankful for the friends I have. Those who accept and take me for who and what I am, and most importantly – my well-being. I think there lies the true measure of friendship.

I’m a HUGE Charlie Brown fan…

So… friendship…

First, I believe friendship only happens with people you actually spend time with. It is hard to develop a friendship if you are never around a person. And no, friendship is not the number of “friends” you have on social media.

Second, friendship needs to enjoy one another’s company. We are around a lot of people daily. Friends, sure… but is the measure of that only surface, or does it cut deep?

Third, it is hard to have friendships without common interests. I have said it time and time again, “There is something to be said about having like-minded, kindred-spirited people” in your lives. There are only so many conversations one can have on family and the weather.

Fourth, this is where it will get interesting. We have to have friends that will “get into your business.” If you cannot have honest, heartfelt conversations, then the friend status might need to be “un”checked.

Lastly, friendship must not only offer encouragement, but it must also be willing to help in a time of need. I am not talking about times where “I need a favor.” I’m talking about no matter who, what, when, why, or where… that friend will be there, no questions asked.

I hope you have friends who have the characteristics above. I do, and for that, I am whatever is beyond thankful. If you get a chance, you might want to tell them that.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2020 J Clay Norton

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Is There an Intolerance of Leadership in Certain Leaders?

09 Friday Oct 2020

Posted by in Actions, Culture, Decisions, Intolerance, Leader, Leadership, Perception, Relationships, Tolerance, Understanding, Value

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We are in challenging days… Everywhere we look or listen, society is____________________ (you fill in the blank).

The more I “look around,” the more I see a steady increase in what leadership should not be. Lack of leadership is running rampant all over the place. What has happened in our society that has allowed for and brought about this change? The primary reason, I believe, is we have turned away from servant-leadership and are now chasing our own selfish desires.

And there and here lies the problem… Leaders who do not value a servant-based mentality become intolerant (please note that I am not writing about areas of morality here) to the views of others. A false idea of tolerance undermines quality leadership, and many people never recognize it is happening. Intolerant leaders seem to think they can impose their leadership on others, and you have no right to question it.

Leaders who lead with intolerance of others’ viewpoints create the notion that their leadership is absolute and anything that contradicts said “truth” is only relative – for you.

This notion is where I see a fundamental shift. Many, in leadership roles, while having to “answer” to someone above them, only feel they are answerable to no one but themselves – especially if they can convince they have the best interests of others in mind or, as they say, “at heart.” This is where I say, “Please do not tell me you have my best interests in mind and then decide the decision you make only benefits you or the ones you are actually concerned about.”

As I write this, I genuinely believe you will be able to pick this topic up and almost put it into any time slot of history, past, or future, and it will still be applicable. However, due to the constant flow of information from so many different outlets, our viewing and knowledge of ever-changing leadership are much more assessable. It should not and does not take one long to recognize the difference. While that is a benefit, it also allows the disguised “leadership lie of self” agenda to continue to be pushed.

Funny thing is, while I “think” I have an answer for almost anything, I really do not have an answer for this. I do not know how to help those in leadership positions understand that by serving others, they will also benefit themselves. I suppose the only answer I have is to suggest modeling the right leadership behavior and hope others will take notice and see that there is something different about being a servant-leader first. I fear that it will take something drastic in their leadership lives to understand this…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2020 J Clay Norton

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