Category Archives: Conversations

Genuine kindness – Where did it go?

29 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by in Appreciation, Conversations, Culture, Decisions, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Mask, Message, Relationships, Value

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Today’s world comes at us every morning with the dog-eat-dog mentality. I have to get what is mine. Yes, I will speak to you or nod your way, but to genuinely acknowledge where the other person felt kindness… not so much. Why? Where did society take a wrong turn, and genuine kindness got left behind.

A few thoughts before I get into my other thoughts…
One, I believe technology has really hurt society in this area. Yes, there are many good, quality aspects of technology… but ultimately, what I see has happened is people are now able to hide behind their keyboards and type what they wish they could say but are afraid of the ramifications. It is almost as if the keyboard is the mask of insecurity they wear.

Ok… enough. Get to the kindness…
I heard Billy Joel’s song the other day, “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” and there is one line in the song… “I can’t take it anymore.” Well, that is often how I feel. We cannot escape… The radio, the TV, the social media, the complainers, the _________.

Ok… the kindness…
Why can’t we just be kind? It might take some effort, but it beats not being kind. Where has that ever gotten anyone?

Kindness is never arrogant. Kindness is humility. Knowing no one is really any better. Find what works for individuals and build a relationship. Quit the “me!” Try having a true interest in others. Not what you can get from them, but what they can give. That’s genuine kindness.

Say thank you that shows value… yes, appreciation. We are so worried that we are not going to get the recognition we deserve. Who cares besides you? One day, someone is going to throw that plaque in the garbage anyway. Genuine kindness celebrates others and fosters success for them.

It does not take long to figure out when kindness is not in the air. It just doesn’t smell right. You know that smell… the smell of “stuff-upedness.”
It is very hard to have a connection with others when that odor is around. As soon as they walk in the door, they say, “You smell something?”

I truly believe genuine kindness helps people motivate themselves. And when that happens, empowerment is felt and seen. Trust and respect take on new definitions, and results are an after product instead of a grind.

Quick question… You want to know if your kindness is genuine? Quick answer with a question… Are others inspired because of you?

In the end, kindness puts others first. I’m talking about leadership here… Your leadership message is for others, not you. Genuine kindness has the ability to relate to others—more about them, less about you.

Genuine kindness – where did it go? It really never left. Maybe we just forgot it was there. Genuine kindness is good for you and good for others.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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United or Divided? (A Re-post)

26 Friday Jun 2020

Posted by in Agenda, Attitude, Change, Character, Conversations, Courage, Crisis, Culture, Expectations, Freedom, Future, Honest, Humility, Inspiration, Integrity, Intentions, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Love, Purpose, Reflection, Relationships, Sincerity, Trust, Understanding, Unity, Value

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For what it is worth, I am not a fan of “reposting” my blogs. However, I am reposting the blog “United or Divided” today. This blog was originally written on January 26, 2018. I believe that leadership stands and transcends time and many other things and ideas as well.

When I wrote the blog the first time, it was written with the idea that we are in a crossroads of education. Now, as a Nation, we are as well. 

Only one sentence I will add for the blog is this…  “We, as people, must find our likeness in Christ for healing to begin and to sustain.” 

I hope you enjoy the re-post.

Below you will find the lyrics to the new song by Christian artist, Mandisa, “Bleed The Same.” The other day I heard it for the first time on KLOVE riding down the road. Like many things, it made me start thinking…

We say this, and we say that, only to get and keep the same results. We say we want more or better, but we do not put the effort in to change. Many times we might even be influenced by others who do not want to change. I/we want to…. I/we wish… I/we… The “want list” just goes on and on.

When it comes to the lives we live, they are the sum collections of thoughts created from experience or instilled as a way of life. However, the funny thing is, we are all in this together. At some point, we must acknowledge that everything in one way or another, affects everything else. The ripple effect might have diminished very small by the time it got to us but rippled it did.

Our world of humanity has its foundations based on morality. Sooner, rather than later, we should all know the difference between right and wrong. Yet we continue to make the same choices that enable our lives to stay the same, while at the same time always wanting more or better. The system can only be blamed so much. The issue becomes that we want the spotlight on others and their faults. We never want to turn the spotlight on ourselves. The last thing we want is for our inadequacies to be shown in the light.

I figure the best way to handle all of this, is to start with me. What am I doing to make it better? The “it” is anything that divides. It is united we stand. Can we (you, I, whoever) choose to work for a greater good? How many times does each of us have that one opportunity to do just that? Actually we have many opportunities.  We just wait on someone else.

As you read the lyrics below, I would dare say that each of us would agree with everything it says. So many solid truths. Whatever change you want, let it start with you. Most of all, let others see it. Go out and prove it. Your essence of leadership does one of the two… it unites or divides.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

 

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2018 J Clay Norton

©2020 J Clay Norton (edited)

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If you want to listen to the song, click here:

 

We all bleed the same
We’re more beautiful when we come together
We all bleed the same
So tell me why, tell me why
We’re divided

Woke up today
Another headline
Another innocent life is taken
In the name of hatred
So hard to take (hey!)
And if we think that it’s all good
Then we’re mistaken
‘Cause my heart is breaking

Are you left?
Are you right?
Pointing fingers, taking sides
When are we gonna realize?

We all bleed the same
We’re more beautiful when we come together
We all bleed the same
So tell me why, tell me why
We’re divided
If we’re gonna fight
Let’s fight for each other
If we’re gonna shout
Let love be the cry
We all bleed the same
So tell me why, tell me why
We’re divided

Tell me, who are we
To judge someone
By the kind of clothes they’re wearing
Or the color of their skin?

Are you black? (black)
Are you white? (white)
Aren’t we all the same inside? (the same inside)
Father, open our eyes to see!

We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same)
We’re more beautiful when we come together
We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same)
So tell me why, tell me why
We’re divided
If we’re gonna fight
Let’s fight for each other (fight for each other!)
If we’re gonna shout
Let love be the cry (be the cry!)
We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same)
So tell me why, tell me why
We’re divided

Only love can drive out all the darkness
What are we fighting for?
We were made to carry one another
We were made for more, said
Only love can drive out all the darkness
What are we fighting for? yeah
We were made to carry one another
We were made for more!

We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same)
We’re more beautiful when we come together (let’s stand united!)
We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same)
So tell me why, tell me why
We’re divided
If we’re gonna fight
Let’s fight for each other (fight for each other!)
If we’re gonna shout
Let love be the cry (be the cry!)
We all bleed the same(we all bleed the same) (bleed the same)
Let’s stand united (let’s stand united)
Let’s stand united!

So Father God, I pray
That our families will come together right now
And seek Your face
You will forgive our sins
And You will heal our incredible land
In the name of the only Savior, Jesus Christ
Amen

Staying Close with Your “Distance” Leadership…

17 Friday Apr 2020

Posted by in Communication, Conversations, coronavirus, covid19, Distance, Education, Educational Leadership, Leader, Leadership, Relationships, Teachers, Trust, Understanding, Value

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The educational world, as now, most definitely, has moved into the distance-learning mode. As educators, we can adapt as well as any profession. Try teaching 150 students with different personalities and different learning styles throughout one to two days. Yep… Did I say the ability to adapt?

You get the idea… However, what about leadership when it comes to the distance-learning mode? How does that look? Can we adapt? Yes, due to recent circumstances, most everything is done by remote, even leadership.

Let’s not talk about the collective decisions of leadership, let’s talk about the relationships of leadership. The decisions we make as leaders are usually made by a consensus, well-informed group, and then disseminated to everyone. I believe that it is just part of doing our jobs as leaders.

Now… on to the relationship part of leadership during these “distance” times…

More than ever, people are looking for leaders to guide them during uncertain times. Rest assured, a leader will always emerge in times of need. Leadership is challenging enough, without all the extra “stuff” that goes on. However, quality leaders probably do not have to change their “style” very much. On the other hand, if a leader leads from a “distance” to begin with, the need to change is now. At some point, if you do not change, then your “distance” leadership will turn into leadership that is so far away, it will be nonexistent leadership.

Here are a few quick thoughts that I have (and this goes for teachers as well)…

While a “blanket” text or email is fine, make a point to be intentional with a few people each day. Just create a running list… Communicate with them individually. If you call, they probably will answer and carry on a conversation. Showing some intentionality will create and possibly strengthen a bond you have with others. People, by nature, work better in a friendly environment. This environment carries over remotely. We really have no excuse, technology has made this so easy.

With regard to “distance” leadership, another thing is to trust. Yes, even remotely. In education, we must trust the teachers. They have more “jobs” going on remotely, then they do when at school. Let them do what they do best; teach. Tell teachers what needs to be done and let them go. Check on them, not their work, per se.

Leading from a distance requires more effort on our part. Now is an excellent time to really invest in the lives of our teams. Ask them something other than work or even weather-related. Ask their opinion on something that could benefit the whole (but do not ask, if you do not want to hear).

The unknown… that is where we are with educational leadership at the moment. However, we are becoming more familiar with it day by day.  The only known is that we have had to adapt and change. Many a leader will rise or fall due to the choices of the decisions that they make during this pandemic. We will need the support of our teams. Make every effort and give your team a reason to support you.

Remember, as a leader, it is up to you to lead. If you do not, someone else will. If that happens, do not get upset. You had your chance… Do not be a “from a distance” leader, stay close. Society already has enough “distance” leaders as it is…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others

©2020 J Clay Norton

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Things We All Need More Of…

12 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by in Actions, Adventure, Affection, Attitude, Balance, Communication, Conversations, Dignity, Expectations, Giving, Heart, Importance, Leader, Leadership, Purpose, Relationships, Rest, Understanding, Value

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I saw this picture on Twitter the other day and began to think of how each item is necessary to battle the need for quality leadership in today’s society. Being in a leadership position, we are pulled and sometimes pushed in many different directions. Some voluntarily, some not so much.

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While each of these pics are sweet and cute, the leadership behind them can be influential in our daily fight. We need more of each of these…

Adventures

We need one or two things that allow us to escape the mundane activities of everyday life. While our jobs are somewhat labeled as day to day activities, it can and does get monotonous. Having an adventure allows us to breathe a little easier and push our minds to a different level. It gives you a sense of mental freedom.

Good Sleep

Yep… We all need it, and we all want more of it.  Now, how to get it? I am not sure I have an answer. However, you and I know when we get a good night’s sleep. We are pushed to the max on a daily basis. We go to bed with “stuff” on our minds.  We toss and turn, here and there, as much as being pushed and pulled like we are when we are awake. Typically, something has to give in your life to ease your mind. It is up to you to decide that.

Warm Hugs

The older I get, the more I want to be around like-minded, kindred-spirited people (I have said this before).  Now, we are probably not going to give or receive “warm hugs” everytime we want, but I believe we can broaden the tagline to just being around people who make you feel better about yourself.  I am sure each of us can attest to “having” to be around others that we do not want to be around. Odds are they are not going to give you that warm hug, but more likely an icy stare or a cold shoulder. Be intentional about the people you are around. It says a lot about you.

Interesting Conversations

I like this one.  Interesting conversations help the brain and maybe the heart. What are interesting conversations? You have to decide. However, I can tell you what they are not. Interesting conversations are not about yourself, others, gossip, complaints, fluff, etc. These conversations are easy to see and hear. They are the conversations that are hand-mouthed in hush tones, behind closed doors or loud enough, so others have to listen to them. Interesting conversations mean something and have value. They solve problems. They are for the good of yourself and others together.

Laughter

Laughter is great.  We have memorable moments that make us chuckle. We read something funny. We watch slap-stick comedy.  The things that make us laugh are different for everyone.  Someone said, “Laughter is good for the soul.”  Any way you look at it, laughter is good. Have you ever laughed at something terrible? Probably not. Just remember though, it is not very leadership like to laugh at the expense of others. You sure would not want them to laugh at you.

Happy Dances

Do not read this and say you have never done a little dance step.  I have. You have too. Usually, it is when something good comes to mind as a happy thought, an upbeat song, an accomplishment. I would even broaden this tagline to include the “fist-pump.” A happy dance celebrates good things, and sometimes that is just what each of us needs. Go ahead, dance.

Leadership, in general, is a daily grind and the struggle is real.  Leaders get down. Sometimes I find all it takes are the little, small things that encourage. We need to have some of the above thoughts in our lives.  If we do not, then we cannot help others because we cannot help ourselves.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton