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~ J Clay Norton, Ed.D.

The Book Chamber

Category Archives: Balance

My Pet Peeves… Drives Me Crazy…

06 Friday Nov 2020

Posted by The Book Chamber in Attitude, Balance, Choice, Emotion, Family, Importance, Intentions, Leader, Leadership, Pet Peeves, Reflection, Relationships

≈ 5 Comments

Ok… showing our age now…

How many of you remember the song “She Drives Me Crazy” by Fine Young Cannibals? Sorry if that song is stuck in your head now…

“…She drives me crazy
And I can’t help myself…”

Well, consider everything that is going on around us and the differences of many opinions we each have; instead of opening the phrase with “she,” open it up with “whatever” drives me/you crazy…

I have a lot of pet peeves. I have so many; I have a zoo. The bad thing is, I feed every one of those peeves; messy little critters, they are. Just like any other pets, I love on them, play fetch, rub their belly, scratch their ears… You get the idea. Also, those peeves rub me the wrong way, make me cringe, get under my skin, pull what little hair I have out, wake me up at night, and shut down my breathing sometimes (my mom and dad should get a laugh out of that one).

But… what I have come to realize, while those peeves are always going to be there, it is ME that drives myself crazy. I have a choice as to if I feed them and welcome them into my life… or not. Also, I choose what I want to think about, and for some part, how I feel about them. I know it is hard to get “stuff” out of your mind, and for some reason, “things” will always linger around, triggered by something or someone to make you start thinking again.

I do acknowledge that there are real problems in people’s lives. I am not dismissing or diminishing that fact. What I am talking about is trying NOT driving yourself crazy with all those peeves.

Things that I have to sometimes tell myself…
Go to sleep and don’t wake up at midnight about something you saw on social media.
Quit keeping up with what all you have done wrong lately. Laugh at your trivial mistakes.
Set some reasonable, attainable goals. Get things done early; that way, you can have accomplishments.
Hang out with like-minded, kindred-spirited people. This is huge…
Most of all, be thankful for the love of family and your real pets (not those peeves).

As we approach Thanksgiving, start thinking about your “thankfulness” and quit feeding the pet peeves. They don’t taste very well anyway, and they are tough to chew.

Yes, some things drive me crazy, and maybe, I can help myself…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2020 J Clay Norton

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What is the message I am teaching?

18 Friday Oct 2019

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Balance, Clarity, Communication, Humility, Importance, Leader, Message, Relationships, Servant, Teachers, Value

≈ 4 Comments

How many of us, when we first started teaching, spoke a different message than we do now? When it comes to teaching, many teachers are “talking” way further down the road, then they are actually “walking.”

The struggle for many is that we are talking so much and in so many areas where students cannot hear our message. Or do they? The contrast of what is heard between not saying something and saying something is profound, and our students are listening.

Any given day, we can point to areas where we know our teaching has not caught up to the truth we are speaking and sharing with others. It is at this point in time we must remember the idealist mission we first started with. I believe the challenge of our message is, “Are we doing right with and by students?” In all humbleness, we teach to grow and serve students to be more and better than they realize they can be.

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Deep down, we know what a message of teaching should sound like. We know about pedagogy, methodology, classroom management, best-practices… and since we know these things, we automatically think we have them. But, do we know about teaching the message of kindness, patience, fairness… yes, we know about these as well, but we do not automatically have them.

The message we speak for our students carry beyond the time we have them in class. We can make all the necessary changes here and there to make ourselves better teachers. However, if we do not find a platform on which to stand for our students, and actually hold them accountable and be for them, the platform we stand on is not any better than trying to stand on a 2×4 in the ocean.

Being a quality teacher is teaching a message that gives credibility to others and as a byproduct, credibility to you in return. This message must be part of ourselves and not lip service. Let your “walk” and “talk” catch up with each other.  Everyone will be better for it.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others

©2019 J Clay Norton

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Please DO NOT Have Leadership Amnesia…

04 Friday Oct 2019

Posted by The Book Chamber in Amnesia, Authentic, Balance, Clarity, Leader, Leadership, Relationships, Understanding, Value

≈ 1 Comment

How many times do we come across those who are in leadership positions, and we ask the question, “Did they forget where they came from?”

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Well, many do, and it is unfortunate. Many leaders not only forget where they came from, but they also forget what it is like to follow.

With all of that said, how do we make sure we do not have leadership amnesia?

Leadership should be seen on both a horizontal and vertical plane. The horizontal plane represents the relationships with others, and the vertical plane represents where you are in your leadership life.

Key thoughts horizontally…

  • Horizontally is where we have the capability of wrapping our arms around others and including them.
  • When we keep our arms to our sides and hands in our pockets, others see you only vertically, not open to others.
  • Being able and wanting to include allows others to see that our leadership is more than about them.

Key thoughts vertically…

  • Wanting to move higher and being ambitious is not bad.
  • Always being vertical makes it about you. The higher you climb, the safer you feel?
  • Staying vertical for the wrong reasons allows others to believe you look down on them.
  • If we are always looking up, we forget to see where we came from. We should only look down to remember.

If we forget where we came from, or forget why we lead, I believe we will ultimately be forgotten ourselves. Each person you lead makes it possible for you to be in that leadership position. Think about your own leadership for a moment. How much time do you spend on each plane? The best way to fight amnesia is by remembering.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others

©2019 J Clay Norton

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Flop Flop Fizz Fizz – Leadership Indigestion

19 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Attitude, Balance, Character, Consistency, Decisions, Expectations, Humility, Leader, Leadership, Relationships, Servant

≈ 2 Comments

“Keep your words short and sweet, for you never know which ones you will have to eat.” – Unknown

Have you ever been watching TV late at night and seen commercials for a new drug that can help you with any problem you have, that you did not know you had, but realized you probably did after watching the commercial? Many times I feel like I do and sometimes it seems that the commercial is “talking” directly to me.

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The other night a “drug commercial” came on, and its opening line was, “Do you suffer from indigestion?” As I was trying to keep my food down from supper, limit my acid reflux that turns into heartburn that causes my stomach to cramp which gives me a headache, which leads to my hands shaking, I realized that, WOW, I have indigestion, and did not know it. Not really, but you get the point. What I did understand, however, is that we all have “things” that can give us indigestion and they are not always food.

To take a more serious approach to the topic, let’s ask this question, “What can cause you to have leadership indigestion?” Are there things that you see leaders do that cause your stomach to turn? I am sure the list can become rather lengthy for each of us, but let’s look at a few that I think are the most gut-wrenching and heartburning.

GETTING OTHERS TO DO WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO (OR AFRAID TO DO)

Bottom line, they do not want confrontation. This is not to say that you do not like confrontation, but you know how to deal with it. People who avoid confrontation make excuses for their thought process, such as “I’m a peacemaker,” or “I don’t want to ruffle any feathers.” They never want to be seen as the “bad guy.” However, when their moment comes, they want to be seen front and center. Any other time, they will put on the chameleon suit and do their best to blend in and be part of the crowd. They want everyone to think that they are like everyone else. No, you are not, you are in a leadership role, act like it.

MICROMANAGING

It is just bad leadership. It is the opposite of servant-leadership. It keeps the Leader-Follower model of leadership intact, and no one is ever empowered. Paying attention to detail is ok. Making sure work is done is ok. What is not ok is always breathing down someone’s neck when you hired them to do their job, and you know they do their job. The problem with micromanagers is they question a majority of what you do. This creates a working atmosphere of unwarranted scrutiny. It does more calling out instead of calling up.

MOODINESS

Have you ever been around people that you have to carry around with kid-gloves and on a silver platter? You feel as though you have to walk on eggshells because you do not know what kind of mood someone is in. They have to ask others to see if the “leader” is in a good mood and approachable. Moody leaders are inconsistent with their leadership, and when they are inconsistent, they become unpredictable. Everything about a moody leader is terrible, and there is no way to mask it. Inconsistent, unpredictable leadership creates a mood that no one wants to be a part of.

BLANKET CONVERSATIONS FOR EVERYONE WHEN ONLY ONE PERSON NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED

Get the pill bottle and refill it. This might be the worse one of all. We have all been part of an announcement in a meeting or an email where a blanket is thrown over everyone about an issue that only concerns one person. Here is the scene of what is being thought… You hear an announcement about a problem or issue that is not good, and everyone agrees that it should be addressed, but no one believes they are the ones who need to hear the message but they know who needs to hear it. What good does that do? Please quit leading this way to handle problems. Tell whoever it is that needs to hear it. Everyone else will appreciate it. It goes back to bad leadership and wanting not to be seen as the bad guy.

To make sure you are not the leader who is causing leadership indigestion, make sure you are taking the right medicine. Yes, the prescription is to be a servant-leader. Start taking a daily dose. All four of the “symptoms” of leadership indigestion can be healed where you lead. Servant-leadership handles confrontation in the right way without dodging it, not micromanaging or moody, and most of all they directly handle issues without throwing a blanket over everyone.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

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