Category Archives: Intentions

Knowing Joy Beats Someone Telling Me I Should Be Miserable…

02 Friday Dec 2022

Posted by in Actions, Attitude, Christmas, Deciding, Decisions, Emotion, Encouragement, Inspiration, Intentions, Jesus, Joy, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Misery, Thankful

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Ok… I am always excited when I learn something new, and boy, did I? The other day listening to talk radio on the way to school, I heard a segment on the reporting of the US Misery Index. I was like, what? Are you serious? There is an index out there that is supposedly going to tell me if I am miserable or not? Maybe not me specifically, but our nation as a whole.

So, I got to school and looked it up. Guess what? It’s real. Here’s the website: http://www.miseryindex.us

In short, here is the description… “The misery index was initiated by economist Arthur Okun, an adviser to President Lyndon Johnson in the 1960’s. It is simply the unemployment rate added to the inflation rate. It is assumed that both a higher rate of unemployment and a worsening of inflation both create economic and social costs for a country. A combination of rising inflation and more people out of work implies a deterioration in economic performance and a rise in the misery index.”

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Yes, inflation is high. I’m not going to get into the unemployment rate and all of the other political stuff. However, inflation does not discriminate. I don’t like the price of milk and eggs right now, but I’m not going to make myself miserable over it. I like money in my pocket just as much as the next person. What I don’t need is an index gauging my thoughts for it. But… ultimately, I decide if I am miserable or not.

So, where’s the leadership in this? It all depends on you, I guess. My joy depends on these things – family, close friendships (that circle grows smaller as I get older), enjoyment of my work, and when it does not rain on Saturdays (so I can play golf), and foremost, my relationship with Christ.

As we are now in the Christmas season, if we listen to everything out there, we almost have no choice but to make ourselves miserable. Some small part of me believes that is what society wants; for us to be miserable, so we will depend on someone or something else. I am not going to sign up for that. You shouldn’t either.

Regardless of what the US Misery Index says, at any time of the year, I’m going to choose joy. Now, I have bad days; I’m sure we all do. However, the joy we should feel at Christmas, we should feel all year. Especially knowing the reason for Christmas, for that brings “Joy to the World” within itself.

And as for leadership… I get to choose that also. I get to decide what type of leader I want to be. I definitely do not need an index for that, either. As we begin the month of December and the Christmas season, focus on the joy that we have. If you have a chance, which we all do, spread some of it around.  It sure beats being miserable because somebody said, “Misery loves company.”

Let’s go fight the good fight of leadership. Someone has to…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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Leadership Manipulation Only Wants Yes or No Answers…

08 Friday Apr 2022

Posted by in Actions, Agenda, Facade, Insecurity, Intentions, Leader, Leadership, Manipulation

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Have you ever been caught in a situation where someone wanted to “catch you” in your answer? Everything seems fine one-on-one, but let an audience form, and then the true intent comes out; the trap. In their smugness, they ask a question, only wanting a yes or a no. Any other answer response is not what they want? Why?

You see this happen a lot in leadership. People want an answer by manipulating you and the conversation. Think of spin control… Instead of getting into that trap, you could throw them for a loop and answer their question with a question for them. Keeping the topic the same allows them to possibly fall into their own verbal trap.

I would dare say that most people who demand a yes or no answer have fudged and twisted the truth of the question anyway. Some just lie from the onset. What’s funny here is that if they knew half of what they were actually asking, they would know that others see right through their facade.

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Leaders who ask loaded questions… you know any? They put those who are to answer in a lose-lose situation. Answer yes, answer no, they got you. When this happens, truth becomes irrelevant. Once someone has their mind made up, it does not matter if the truth is told or not. They want the answer they want to hear.

This leadership manipulation comes down to tautology logic, where a statement is true by necessity or by virtue of its logical form. The Latin for this is tertium non datur – as if there is no possibility of a third answer. I would say beware of people who ask questions in this form. They are only out to help themselves.

Insecure, weak leaders do not like to be challenged. Agreeing to disagree is nonexistent in their world. When they do not get the yes or no answer they are looking for, they are challenged on a much deeper level. They take it personally, and then you become the problem.

I would say that the leadership lesson here is not to be manipulated. However, we all know that we cannot control others’ thoughts and actions. Sometimes… But a lesson I believe that is helpful is to make sure we are firmly planted with our convictions that others would dare not try to manipulate us. We will be less likely to be manipulated when we are.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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Being a #girldad and Women Sports Equality

25 Friday Mar 2022

Posted by in Advantage, Agenda, Choice, Expectations, Future, Honest, Humility, Influence, Intentions, Opinions, Power, Value

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I’m a #girldad and very proud to be one. I love Breana with all of my heart and then some (ya’ll know what I mean). However…

In recent events, the NCAA allowed Lia Thomas, swimming for the University of Pennsylvania, to swim in the NCAA D-1 Women’s National Swimming Championships. HE won the 500-yard freestyle event… you see, Lia was biologically born as a male… and there lies the issue. Interestingly, Thomas competed for the men’s swimming team at the University of Pennsylvania for three years before transitioning, undergoing hormone therapy, then switching to compete for the women’s team in 2020. Thomas finished the 500-yard freestyle final in 4 minutes, 33.24 seconds, just over a second faster than second-place finisher Emma Weyant (University of Virginia), while Olympian Erica Sullivan (University of Texas) touched the wall next to take third place. Title IX was established to promote and advocate for equality in women sports, but it seems that is no longer the case. 

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Breana played tennis in high school and is a pretty good tennis player (she takes after her mom). They played mixed doubles, but she never had to compete in singles against a boy. Girls played against girls, and boys played against boys. As a #girldad, I’m proud of Breana’s effort in competing. However, as the future begins to change, how would I go back and explain to her that she had to compete against males. At some point, right is right, and wrong is wrong… but that seems to get lost in translation. Some will say it becomes relative, but then…. whose relativeness do we believe? 

I’m not sure where society took a wrong turn, but I don’t think it was when I was growing up. If it was, we didn’t know about it. How do we tell our children not to cheat, stay honest and honorable, while others will literally try to change their gender or call themselves what they are not in order to compete? In the spirit of “political correctness,” I’m sure this becomes an obtuse thought. However, when we tell our girls not to compete, we stifle or limit their competitiveness nature in order to take a stance. 

If we see this now, where will it be later on? We say, “It cannot get worse,” but then something more asinine happens. When we say, “The audacity of…,’ the gravity of the situation does not carry the weight. I will say I admire the actual girls who swam in the meet. I also admire that they spoke out about it afterwards. I wish one of them had won. But then we know they actually did even though no trophy or medal was given. 

My daughter is now grown but still plays league tennis. As a #girldad, I’m passionate about and for women sports. For all the future girl athletes, I wish for them the opportunity to be able to compete at their level. But it needs to be at their level. We can get into the science of it, we can get into the biology of it, we can… get into it. In the end, how one is born is what they are. Allowing a male to compete with females does not create a venue of equality. 

It seems equality is no longer equal. However, to quote Gavroche in Les Misérables, “Here is the thing about equality, everyone’s equal when they’re dead.”

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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Getting rid of the bitter taste of leadership…

05 Friday Nov 2021

Posted by in Actions, Bitterness, Character, Communication, Decisions, Effective, Facade, Intentions, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Love, Transparent, Uncategorized, Vision

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Ugh… that tastes bitter. Even worse, that bitter taste can sometimes linger, and it begins to be all we think about; talk about distracting. It will probably hinder us from tasting the good of other things also.

But… what does bitter look like? Good question. Better yet, what does bitter leadership look like, and why is it such a thing? First, what is bitterness? A quick lookup gives this definition – having a sharp, pungent taste or smell, not sweet. Hello… not sweet, pungent… Talk about a bad quality of leadership… How about this statement, “I have a bitter taste in my mouth about…” Yep, been there, said that. Pungent… doesn’t even sound like a good word to say.

I would say, most of the time, our bitterness is always going to be with something or someone else. It mostly comes with disappointments which leads to frustrations, not only with yourself but others. Bitterness in your life affects so many things; confidence, mood, performance, likeability, respect… most of all, love. It deprives the sweetness of what leadership should be.

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One area I see bitterness is in leaders who only think their way is “the only way.” They lead with blinders that prevent them from seeing anything anyone else has to say. By default, others begin to question, respect is lost, and their leadership becomes a facade, seen right through. I guess, in the end, bitterness comes and goes, but the effects can last much longer. A full circle runs through all people, especially when we do not get our way.

So… how can we fight bitterness? I am not sure there is an absolute answer. However, I have seen enough leaders with bitterness that I have some ideas on how I do not want to lead. First, be open to ideas and not have a closed-mind set. Second, be transparent with your leadership. If we can incorporate both of these concepts in our leadership, we will lead better, and others will not have to be bitter because you are.

Go figure and it sounds easy. However, when our EGO gets in the way, bitterness is going to taste bad. Let’s lead with a sweetness.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on…

Twitter @thebookchamber

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