Category Archives: Manipulation

The Value of Tears…

29 Friday Apr 2022

Posted by in Actions, Affection, Clarity, Communication, Connections, Emotion, Heart, Leader, Leadership, Manipulation, Passion, Sensitive, Value

≈ 1 Comment

caring-quote_a-trear-is-made-of-1-water-99-feelings-560d3I saw this quote the other day for the first time ever, “The most expensive liquid in the world is a tear, made up of 1% water & 99% feelings.” I’m not sure if you have ever seen or heard it, but… it got me thinking.

First, let me say that there are some who “cry” at the drop of a handkerchief and those who fake their tears to manipulate… I’m not here to discuss them. They do not deserve the thoughts…

My initial thought was that when we shed tears, we let go of a value for someone or something we have inside ourselves. I have cried for and cried at others, and I am sure others have done the same for and at me. Contrary to popular belief, I have an emotional, sensitive side. Just ask those closest to me. As I thought about the quote above, I realized how true it is. There are happy tears, sad tears, and angry tears, and all tears exhibit personal feelings that are ours alone.

One of the hardest things to do is fight back the tears. You might hear someone say, “This is not the time nor the place.” Well, I believe tears show our humanness and trust. Being able to shed tears allows others to see the courage we have and the passion we are comfortable admitting. When something or someone is really important to us, with emotions attached, our authenticity can be seen, and the value of what we hold dear comes out as tears.

Showing emotion is not a weakness. Tears equate to a conviction. Tears sometimes are the words that cannot be said. Yes, there might be some vulnerability to shedding tears. Still, it can show others that we are in touch with reality and provide “relateableness” (yes, I made that word up).

And as for leadership, I much rather be around those who can express and exhibit emotions. There’s a HUGE difference between that and a person who is just emotional. When it comes to that, those who can express themselves are usually those who respond, whereas the “emotional leader” will only react.

So… let yourself be who you are. If you shed tears, then go ahead. If you don’t, ok… But what not to do, is stereotype. Because the tears that belong to others, those tears are theirs, and only they can determine their value.

I end the blog with this quote… “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.” – Washington Irving

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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Leadership Manipulation Only Wants Yes or No Answers…

08 Friday Apr 2022

Posted by in Actions, Agenda, Facade, Insecurity, Intentions, Leader, Leadership, Manipulation

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Have you ever been caught in a situation where someone wanted to “catch you” in your answer? Everything seems fine one-on-one, but let an audience form, and then the true intent comes out; the trap. In their smugness, they ask a question, only wanting a yes or a no. Any other answer response is not what they want? Why?

You see this happen a lot in leadership. People want an answer by manipulating you and the conversation. Think of spin control… Instead of getting into that trap, you could throw them for a loop and answer their question with a question for them. Keeping the topic the same allows them to possibly fall into their own verbal trap.

I would dare say that most people who demand a yes or no answer have fudged and twisted the truth of the question anyway. Some just lie from the onset. What’s funny here is that if they knew half of what they were actually asking, they would know that others see right through their facade.

ONLy-yes-or-No-696x583

Leaders who ask loaded questions… you know any? They put those who are to answer in a lose-lose situation. Answer yes, answer no, they got you. When this happens, truth becomes irrelevant. Once someone has their mind made up, it does not matter if the truth is told or not. They want the answer they want to hear.

This leadership manipulation comes down to tautology logic, where a statement is true by necessity or by virtue of its logical form. The Latin for this is tertium non datur – as if there is no possibility of a third answer. I would say beware of people who ask questions in this form. They are only out to help themselves.

Insecure, weak leaders do not like to be challenged. Agreeing to disagree is nonexistent in their world. When they do not get the yes or no answer they are looking for, they are challenged on a much deeper level. They take it personally, and then you become the problem.

I would say that the leadership lesson here is not to be manipulated. However, we all know that we cannot control others’ thoughts and actions. Sometimes… But a lesson I believe that is helpful is to make sure we are firmly planted with our convictions that others would dare not try to manipulate us. We will be less likely to be manipulated when we are.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…