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~ J Clay Norton, Ed.D.

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Category Archives: Emotion

Passion and the Why – Is it good or bad?

15 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Agenda, Attitude, Authentic, Character, Choice, Deciding, Decisions, Emotion, Know Your Why, Leader, Leadership, Motivation, Passion, Perception, Value

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In last week’s blog, I wrote on “Decision Making – Emotional or Factual?” One of the three areas where I believe decisions are made is with passion. A few people commented on it enough that I thought I would just use “passion” for our topic this week.

Going along with the title, is your “passion” for what you believe in good or bad? How you answer this, I know, is based on one’s perception and relativeness. However, I also know that putting perception and relativeness aside, your passion is defined by your values and even more by your core values. One of my great mentors at Mississippi College stated, “Values are what you believe in, core values are where you draw the line in the sand.”

A few friends emailed or stopped by to discuss “passion” as they see it regarding making decisions. Here are a few specific comments…

“To take positions we have to take for our clients, I must not only believe in the “rightness” of that position, but I need to have some passion for advancing that position… There are sometimes I do not believe in the “rightness” of what they wanted me to advance. The facts didn’t ‘geehaw’ with my core beliefs.”

“My experience is that some measure of passion for your positions on issues and core beliefs is necessary; otherwise, you come across as passive and lack genuineness.”

“It’s when passion is inappropriately expressed does it become detrimental. However, when you can exhibit passion properly (non-inflammatory), can passion help your cause.”

These are “spot on” with my belief as well on passion. Our passion has to be for the right thing. The “right thing” is where it gets fuzzy… I would say that the “right thing” depends on your “why”… the outcome you want (tangibles and intangibles), goals, motivation, attitude, etc… Is it for good or bad? Do you want revenge or to promote unity? Is your passion for selfish reasons, or is it being for others? Mostly, what is your agenda? I believe these are underlying thoughts as to what “fuels” our passion.

Upon a little digging… “The root of the word “passion” is found in the Latin word “passio.” From the late 1500’s “passio” began to take on the meaning of emotion and, in some cases, controlled emotion. And now we know why passion can help or hurt… it all depends on the “why” and if it is controlled.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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Decision Making – Emotional or Factual?

08 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by The Book Chamber in Decisions, Emotion, Leadership

≈ 5 Comments

This past Sunday, on our way home from church, Breana, our daughter (age 20), went on a positive, constructive rant, per se. Please note, we have a good many of those…

Much of what she said centered around her generation’s idea of making decisions based on emotions rather than factual information. As the conversation continued, I told Breana that I felt that she was way beyond her years in thinking, and to understand, that while she might see emotional decision making among her age group, that it also happens in all age groups and at all levels of leadership.

I have seen many leaders make decisions based on emotion. I acknowledge that there are those “gut decision” moments; however, when it comes to what truly affects the long term and creates a paradigm shift for the worse, emotional decisions hurt the future.

This idea goes beyond the “What was I thinking?” Usually, when I ask myself that, I wasn’t. Our emotions help define who we are, and emotions are not destructive. But… they can get in the way of how we respond and how we decide.

So… I thought I might start off the 2021 year with what I think hinders quality decision making when decisions are made by emotions…

Passion
Yes, I can get excited. Much about nothing and extremely much more about the things I am passionate about. Unbeknown to me (yeah, right), this affects my ability to make logical, factual decisions. The risk and the reward of what is at stake… Passion often leads you to make quick decisions. If you are not passionate about something, then most likely, you don’t care about the decision. This can lead to apathy, and we find ourselves not making a decision. Your passion does not change the facts.

Nerves
We all get nervous… some more than others. Often, you will find that whatever decision you are “worried” about does not affect the outcome. Being nervous about one area can overflow into other areas. Being nervous creates a mindset of indecisiveness. That’s even worse. Your nerves do not change the facts.

Anger
Ever been mad and made a decision? Me too… Usually, they are rash and without much judgment and more times than not… regrettable. Unlike passion and nerves, anger is like that boiling pot of hot water. It just continues to get hotter and hotter until that steam has to go somewhere. Remember this adage… Anger is one letter away from Danger. Your anger does not change the facts.

As 2021 is now here, we do not want to live in the past, especially last year, 2020. Moving forward, we need leaders who can make decisions that can set their emotions aside and base their decisions on what the facts are. Emotional decisions create feelings, and those feelings are either good or bad. When our feelings start making decisions… well, it does not matter what the truth is.

As Joe Friday of Dragnet said, “Nothing but the facts.”

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

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My Pet Peeves… Drives Me Crazy…

06 Friday Nov 2020

Posted by The Book Chamber in Attitude, Balance, Choice, Emotion, Family, Importance, Intentions, Leader, Leadership, Pet Peeves, Reflection, Relationships

≈ 4 Comments

Ok… showing our age now…

How many of you remember the song “She Drives Me Crazy” by Fine Young Cannibals? Sorry if that song is stuck in your head now…

“…She drives me crazy
And I can’t help myself…”

Well, consider everything that is going on around us and the differences of many opinions we each have; instead of opening the phrase with “she,” open it up with “whatever” drives me/you crazy…

I have a lot of pet peeves. I have so many; I have a zoo. The bad thing is, I feed every one of those peeves; messy little critters, they are. Just like any other pets, I love on them, play fetch, rub their belly, scratch their ears… You get the idea. Also, those peeves rub me the wrong way, make me cringe, get under my skin, pull what little hair I have out, wake me up at night, and shut down my breathing sometimes (my mom and dad should get a laugh out of that one).

But… what I have come to realize, while those peeves are always going to be there, it is ME that drives myself crazy. I have a choice as to if I feed them and welcome them into my life… or not. Also, I choose what I want to think about, and for some part, how I feel about them. I know it is hard to get “stuff” out of your mind, and for some reason, “things” will always linger around, triggered by something or someone to make you start thinking again.

I do acknowledge that there are real problems in people’s lives. I am not dismissing or diminishing that fact. What I am talking about is trying NOT driving yourself crazy with all those peeves.

Things that I have to sometimes tell myself…
Go to sleep and don’t wake up at midnight about something you saw on social media.
Quit keeping up with what all you have done wrong lately. Laugh at your trivial mistakes.
Set some reasonable, attainable goals. Get things done early; that way, you can have accomplishments.
Hang out with like-minded, kindred-spirited people. This is huge…
Most of all, be thankful for the love of family and your real pets (not those peeves).

As we approach Thanksgiving, start thinking about your “thankfulness” and quit feeding the pet peeves. They don’t taste very well anyway, and they are tough to chew.

Yes, some things drive me crazy, and maybe, I can help myself…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2020 J Clay Norton

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The E’s of Teaching

25 Friday Oct 2019

Posted by The Book Chamber in coronavirus, covid19, Distance Learning, Education, Educational Leadership, Emotion, Engagement, Entertainment, Expertise, Teachers

≈ 2 Comments

We all decided to get into education to help change the world and to help children, right? Educationalists (yes, if you are in education, you are one of these) talk about what the role of a teacher and student should look like and be. Being a teacher goes beyond teaching your subject area. What we seem to have a hard time doing is knowing what it actually looks like to “be for a student.”

Have you ever thought about why students like some teachers and not others? Maybe we should say, care for, instead. Let’s forget about the subject matter for the time being. Our goal for our students should be more than imparting our knowledge. We are the last great hope to help develop students and model a mature, professional example while the world gives them all that other stuff and garbage.

As I look at teaching, students might not care about the subject matter you teach, but they do know if you know what you are talking about. I do, however, believe that students think and care about how a teacher shows and provides engagement, emotion, expertise, and just maybe a little entertainment. If you can provide these, then they might just give your subject matter a chance.

If we are going to provide engagement, then we have to have connections with our students. We have to know them more than who they are sitting in a desk or at a table. Also, please do not let the negative “teacher talk” decide how you feel about a student. We must learn to engage all, not just a select few.

If we are going to provide emotion, then we have to have passion, not only for our subject but for our students as well. They have to see and know we care. Let them feel that “vibe” of your personal teaching touch.

If we are going to provide expertise, then we have to have ourselves prepared every day. Students know when we do not know what we are not talking about. Our expertise defines our teaching.

And there might be those times where we need to provide a little entertainment. I like to call it “edutainment.” Yes, it is ok to laugh and make students laugh. It is ok to do a little dance. What a powerful impact we can have by allowing our students time to breathe, and as I have often said in my classroom, “Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.”

We owe it to our students to be for them. We want them to succeed both academically and as individuals. Our focus is to grow the student. How is a student ever going to flourish in your classroom if they do not know you are for them? Find your ease (E’s) of teaching and see the difference you will make.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others

©2019 J Clay Norton

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