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~ J Clay Norton, Ed.D.

The Book Chamber

Category Archives: Authentic

Things Leaders Should Not Say…

25 Friday Sep 2020

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Authentic, Culture, Education, Intentions, Leader, Leadership, Mandates, Purpose, Relationships, Servant, Teachers, Value

≈ 10 Comments

Remember growing up and hearing… “Do as I say, not as I do?” If it was not heard in your house, then you probably heard it somewhere else. Maybe there is a need for it while you are young and learn to be more mature with age, but when did you really take notice of the fact that “Do as I say, not as I do” phrase quit carrying value?

Better yet, let me drop this phrase on you… “Because I said so…” Heard that lately? The same questions from above can be asked here as well. How about this one… “You signed up for this…” or “Well, this is the way we are going to do it, and if you don’t like it…” One more, “We have always done it this way…”

Let’s look at it from an organizational perspective with leadership…

What is going on if you are hearing that from leadership in your work environment? Questions that quickly come to mind… What does it say about the culture of your work environment, and what is it saying about them, as a leader, directly?

As for culture, I believe that it is set by the group as a whole but is determined and sometimes developed by the expectations of leadership. To start, let me say that I believe culture is learned behavior until an agent of change comes in, or there is a paradigm shift. Too often, we forget that our culture is what we make it, not always what is mandated. However, if leadership is not abiding in and with the same parameters of their own expectations, then a disconnect is easily seen. Once it is seen, that disconnect creates breaks that has a hard time healing.

As for why a leader would have to say the above statements, well… Often leaders will say they operate on a different set of “rules.” Really? Different roles, yes, but rules? Nothing brings resentment to the boiling point quicker than a leader asking someone to do something they are not willing to do themselves, or stating they do not have to follow certain rules because they are in a position of leadership.

Last thought… What we say as leaders matter, how we actively live what we speak out matters even more—any saying that limits the originality or the why of your culture shows a mindset that is unwilling to grow, resentment will build, and relationships will suffer.

If a leader is having to say comments like these mentioned above or any others that come to your mind, then odds are they are very close to losing the culture, the respect, and, most of all, their leadership. They might still be in “charge,” but it is truly by title only. It might be due to their insecurities, knowing they really do not understand how to be a leader.

It would be interesting to hear from readers as to what you think leaders should not say… I bet we could get a pretty good running thread…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2020 J Clay Norton

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Yo-Yo Leadership…

06 Thursday Feb 2020

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Authentic, Communication, Courage, Culture, Engagement, Essence, Expectations, Humility, Leader, Leadership, Message, Purpose, Servant, Sincerity, Understanding, Value

≈ 2 Comments

We can all agree or should, at least, that leadership is not about popularity. Oh, but how many “leaders,” think and lead that way.  You know them…

What begins as, hopefully, a genuine desire to serve others in leadership soon can become nothing more than an act of impressing others. If a leader’s leadership depends on the applause and approval of others, the genuineness, or lack of, is so apparent, people get blindsided because of it. And there lies the problem….

I read something the other day about popularity being similar to a yo-yo. I thought it was funny because we all know some yo-yos. Yo-yo up, yo-yo down. Now, it has been a while since I toyed around with a yo-yo, but as I reflect, I can definitely see how the analogy takes true. As the yo-yo goes down, gravity takes over, everything is natural. As the yo-yo comes back up, it is drawn back with a force of having to get back to the top.

As I thought more about popularity and the yo-yo, I transferred the concept to leadership. Does your leadership, naturally work, or are you leading because of a controlling force? And the most critical question to answer today is, “Is that controlling force your wanting to be liked?” When things are going well, we strut and swag; when not, we drop our head and mope. When your wanting to be liked becomes the “want of your day,” nothing good happens. It makes you miserable (it should) and others around you miserable.

Let people like you because they see true leadership in you. It seems that a reoccurring theme in my blogs is talking about “being for others.” I think we should; why would we not? But it is tough to be for others when we are for ourselves first. It goes back to a thought I had the other day… “Finding value in what we know instead of what we think carries greater leadership responsibility.” Lead because you know… If we do not, how can we ask for society to grow to be better leaders? Be popular becasue you are respected, not the other way around. Bottom line… Do not be a yo-yo leader!

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others

©2020 J Clay Norton

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Sensitive Leadership? It Just Might Work!

24 Friday Jan 2020

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Authentic, Honest, Leader, Leadership, Sensitive, Trust, Understanding, Value

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Ok… You are not sure about the title.  Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’m not sure either.  For what it is worth, I have never been known to be overly sensitive. Now, that is neither good or bad, but…

The question I want to tackle today is it ok for a leader to be sensitive? The answer probably depends on who you ask, and maybe where they are in their leadership. With anyone, the easy answer could be for some to be less sensitive, while others should be more sensitive.

I genuinely believe there are times when both need to be exhibited, and there is a very fine line between the two. But in any case, I can see it being more of a strength instead of a weakness. True experience is the greatest teacher here.

Quality leaders are sensitive to the realities of others. Consider that statement as it applies to you. Are we aware of the leadership battle that rages inside each of us? Do we realize that to walk in quality leadership, that is for others, is to live a leadership life that shows sensitivity to the things that go on and around us?

I’m not saying that you have to carry everything and everyone on a silver platter with kit gloves. That is not it at all. But to acknowledge and be in tune with the lives of the people around you speaks volumes for how you lead and, more importantly, how people will follow you.

Are you willing to step out behind that “Wizard of Oz” curtain and let others see that it is ok actually to care? There can be some level of security in being sensitive toward others in your leadership. Once you acknowledge this, be assured that others will also. When it happens, everyone will be better off.

Do not be known as the “leader” who flippantly shows the facade of caring. Be the leader that others know that what they see behind you, is the true meaning of your leadership… that you do care.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others

©2020 J Clay Norton

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Leadership As A Christmas Tree Ornament?

06 Friday Dec 2019

Posted by The Book Chamber in Authentic, Christmas, Essence, Leader, Leadership, Presence, Purpose

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Like many of you, I am sure, we put our Christmas tree up last week. I tackle the outside of the house, and Heather, my wife, decorates the inside. As she was finishing up placing ornaments on the tree, I helped out with getting a few to the top areas of the tree. When we were finished, like always, I stepped back to take an approving look.

What I did next, I found myself doing every year. I just started looking at our ornaments. What I noticed is that every one of them has a backstory, and for some reason or another, I am proud they are on our tree. As always, it “got me to thinking…”

What if the ornaments on our trees represent the leadership that others see? Better yet, what story do they tell?

Here are a few thoughts I had…

This year I took a few pics of ornaments and sent them to my mom, asking, “You remember these?” And of course, she did. Ornaments have a way of connecting our lives and memories to days that do not exist anymore. However, they do continue to live in our hearts. That is what great leadership does; it connects and resonates in our hearts in a way that continues to touch others’ lives. This is a big deal for me and my life. I want to have leadership that has “connectivity” with others.

Almost every ornament on our tree, we can tell you where it came from or who gave it to us. Each one unique on its own. Some have been passed down multiple generations and are beginning to show age. But, like those and the other ornaments, they help to create a personality of our tree. Just like ornaments, our leadership has a personality. What is it saying about you?

You cannot lead based on a cookie-cutter approach. What you are missing out on is the authenticity of not only yourself but the leadership you are trying to provide. That is what an original ornament brings to a tree. More importantly, it is authentic to you for your own reasons. It definitely is not store-bought in a box.

When we decorate our Christmas trees, I believe it is as much for ourselves as it is for others, providing a meaningful reflection of moments that have touched our hearts. Each ornament hangs on our tree is purposedly placed there for no other reason than our own.

As we think about our leadership and Christmas tree ornaments, we want it to touch our hearts, have substance, create an emotional feeling that we can recall and want to have again, and most of all, feel its presence. That is what leadership should always do and what we as leaders should strive to provide.

If your leadership were an ornament, would someone place it on their family Christmas tree?

 

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others

©2019 J Clay Norton

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