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~ J Clay Norton, Ed.D.

The Book Chamber

Category Archives: Communication

How Well Do You Listen and Can You Hear Me Now?

18 Friday May 2018

Posted by The Book Chamber in Clarity, Communication, Heart, Leader, Leadership, Listening, Servant, Understanding

≈ 1 Comment

Do you remember the Verizon Phone Company’s commercial of “Can you hear me now?” While that “jingle” might be slightly funny, the question itself with regards to leadership is profound. How many times, do others have conversations with us, and they walk away wondering if they were ever heard?

One of many essential characteristics of great leadership is listening. It sounds simple, but… as you well know, some leaders simply do not listen, or they do not listen as to understand. I believe that there are times when people come to us, they have something to say. They want our attention, and they know real quick if they have it or not.

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As I think about the different time’s people have wanted to speak with me, did I listen to hear? I can also ask that same question for when I wanted to be also heard. For those times when the answer was “no” in both cases, after hard lessons learned, I begin thinking of what type of listener leaders are and the type of listener I wanted to be.

To always keep it simple, I have three ideas about what type of ears a listener you may have…

CLOSED EARS

When a leader has closed ears, it is tough for others to talk to them. They cannot ask questions or explain anything. It becomes more of a task and chore. The issue here is with the listener. It has nothing to do with the person or what is being said. I believe there is a direct correlation between leaders with closed ears having a closed heart.

SELECTIVE EARS

We have all heard that notion of someone having selective hearing. Well, here it is. Leaders who have this, only listen to what they want to. They want to hear what is pleasing to them. Leaders like this will surround themselves with people who say the “right thing” and are basically “yes people.”

HEART EARS

For a portion of my life, I listened to others with my brain (and I am still guilty of it at times). Listening this way means I would think of how I would respond to the other person instead of listening with my heart to truly hear what they were saying. This is the type of listening leader we should strive to be, listening with heart ears.

What type of listener are you with your leadership? If you do not know, odds are others do. Like me, I am sure each of you can name a leader whose listening style reflects one of the above.

If leaders care for their people, then having heart ears is the only way to listen. You and everyone around you will be better for it.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

Follow me on Twitter at TheBookChamber

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Is Your Leadership Useful?

20 Friday Apr 2018

Posted by The Book Chamber in Attitude, Choice, Communication, Decisions, Expectations, Humility, Inspiration, Integrity, Leader, Leadership, Observation, Opportunity, Purpose, Servant, Useful

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Walking through a store the other day, I saw something and thought, “I need that.” Then I thought, “Need that for what?, Would I use it?” And then, the inner struggle started and wore me out mentally. I was trying to justify something that I thought I needed, and it would be useful, but how often would I use it. It made me start thinking about “stuff” that I have, and the notion of its usefulness. Then I thought, “There has to be a hidden meaning behind this and probably a good leadership blog to go along.” And… Here we are…

If you are in a leadership role, you lead; sounds about right. But, do you lead in a useful manner? Are you making the most of every opportunity available to you and for others? The better question might be, “Do others see your leadership as being useful?”

The very first item we must talk about is “What does it mean for something to be useful?” A few thoughts come to mind; something with a purpose, something that can be used over and over for good. It should be something that you are not ashamed of using.

Now the opposite question is also true, “What does it mean for something to be useless?” Take the opposite of every statement above, and you have your answer.

Be-useful

Photo Credit: sportstvratings.com

What does it mean for your leadership to be useful?

  • It means that you set your leadership apart from the world’s definition of leadership.
  • It means that you are intentional about your leadership being for good purposes.
  • It means that your leadership is prepared to lead for the right reasons.

With leadership today, there are many “hypes” being promoted. What we must do is have a discerning mind to help us weed out the bad leadership that comes in many different forms and fashions; more exact, the useless leadership.

We must have a useful leadership mentality. The usefulness that goes against the norm and allows others to have a stake in the leadership game while finding usefulness in the leadership that we provide.

Be useful in your leadership.  Everyone around you will be better for it.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

Follow me on Twitter at TheBookChamber

Subscribe via email to my blog at the top of the page

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The Heart Of The Matter… Your Words

13 Friday Apr 2018

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Attitude, Authentic, Choice, Communication, Heart, Humility, Inspiration, Integrity, Leader, Leadership, Purpose, Servant, Trust

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“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” Dan Rockwell of Leadership Freak

This I believe… You can never separate who you are with what you say you believe in. This is a powerful statement of leadership. We are walking “billboards” of our belief system; not only in leadership but all areas of life. What are people “seeing” and “hearing” from us?

The central question today for this post is, “Do the words of your heart matter?” If you answer “no,” then please check your leadership at the door and quit “trying” to be a leader. If you answer “I’m not sure,” please keep reading. If you answer “yes,” then you are where you need to be and know your words do matter (but please do not be satisfied).

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Photo Credit: dreamstime.com

There is no mistaking, what a person is inwardly, their mouth will sooner or later reveal outwardly. That is why our words matter and they are at the heart of our leadership.

Please understand, we are not speaking of areas where rightful anger exists. We are talking about areas where one’s speech is crude, rude, evil, hateful, manipulative, etc. You get the picture… When people speak like this, it reveals their heart. Our hearts carry so much. It is a large holding compartment of your character.

Our heart is the ultimate revealer of who we actually are. More often than not, it can also represent the people we surround ourselves with the most. If you can be “labeled” by who you “hang out” with, what would your label represent?

That is why one of my goals is to find and be with like-minded, kindred-spirited people. Our lives are too short, and our leadership is too important to be seen as uncharacteristic of quality.

Our mouths express our hearts. Like it or not, it is what it is. We will try to justify and explain our thoughts to the point of no end, only to make ourselves look good or feel superior. There are not any excuses that can undo this.

Do the words of our heart matter? You bet they do and everyone listening to you can tell. Be the leader others need. Be the leader others need to hear. Have good qualities in your heart. When you do, your mouth will reveal each one. You and everyone around you will be better for it.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

Follow me on Twitter at TheBookChamber

Subscribe via email to my blog at the top of the page

 

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“Relationshipablitiness”

23 Friday Feb 2018

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Attitude, Authentic, Communication, Culture, Ideals, Inspiration, Leader, Leadership, Relationships, Servant, Team, Trust, Unity

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“When leadership is a relationship founded on trust and confidence, people take risks, make changes, keep organizations and movements alive.” – James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner

When there are people around, to lead, I figure you just might have to have a relationship with them. Can you lead if relationships are absent? I suppose you can but…

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Photo Credit: http://www.impacthubsb.com

I believe the one ingredient leadership must have, is “relationshipabilitness” (I just made that word up). Leadership relationships create an atmosphere across many different ideas, concepts, interests, etc. What leaders need and should understand is that relationships must be built and YOU, as the leader, must be the builder. If you cannot be that builder, what type of structure will your leadership be? Now, some leaders just choose not to build. This is very sad. Often, you might find that leader who states, “I am in charge and what I say goes, blah blah blah.” What you have here is a leadership facade that looks good on the outside, but on the inside, it is in shambles. No thank you.

When your leadership has a relationship with people, it listens to understand them. It considers and acknowledges their thoughts and ideas. Leaders must see that people have value. What happens is people begin to see that you are committed to them and just not yourself. Leading for yourself is easy. It is all about you. When we lead for others, we devalue ourselves. Notice the “for” in each of the two previous statements. Who is your leadership “for?” At the end of it all, that has to be the question asked and answered.

Do you honestly want to connect with your leadership? Then build relationships beyond yourself. Building relationships has to be one of the most effective leadership traits of a quality leader. Be a leader who is known for having “relationshipabilitiness.”

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

Follow me on Twitter at TheBookChamber

Subscribe via email to my blog at the top of the page

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