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~ J Clay Norton, Ed.D.

The Book Chamber

Category Archives: Communication

Memory Moments

09 Friday Feb 2018

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Communication, Deciding, Decisions, Family, Inspiration, Leader, Leadership, Legacy, Purpose, Servant, Understanding

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The older I get, the more I have “memory moments.”

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Photo Credit: LearnZillion.com

This past weekend my wife and I, along with our daughter attended an Academic Insight Day at Mississippi State University. Our daughter is a senior this year and will be attending MSU next fall. As my daughter was driving up to Starkville (and back), I begin to think about our first driving experience in the visitor’s gravel parking lot across from Clinton High School. She was 14, and I was a nervous wreck. Fast-forward to today, and all I have are memories of that moment.

My brother and his family live in another state and we keep up regularly. Many times we will call each other to have a conversation on nothing more than, “You remember when?” Usually, it is some funny experience regarding our family growing up. Then we will call our parents and ask the same thing to make sure they remember as well. Even though we are both grown with our own families, we are still making “memory moments.”

I give you this background to say this… “memory moments” have a way of shaping who we are. “Memory moments” come in all areas of our lives, from family, friends, jobs, etc. What is most important is what we do with those “memory moments.”

So… How does this relate to leadership or does it even at all?

Our leadership if full of “memory moments.” Those moments we have made for ourselves, and those that we have been apart of with others. With each, there are good and bad “memory moments.” We only like to think about or bring up the good, but oh how does the bad make us mad or tugs at our hearts. We recall what we want to and try to forget the things we wish we could.

Every leadership decision you have ever made falls into one of these two categories. “Memory moments” have a way of shaping our leadership style and how it affects our whole world as it pertains to you and everyone around. What is crucial to understand and often we do not, is when we make decisions, our “memory moments” should serve as a guide that helps us understand we are dealing with real things and real people. Too often we fail (or do not want to) acknowledge this.

How many times do we make decisions just to be making them? As to say, going through the motions? We can chase a lot of rabbits with this idea. The critical concept to realize is there are no “flippant” decisions when it comes to leadership. Everything means something to someone. Like it or not, they leave a lasting impression.

As you think about your own “memory moments,” let them be what they are. If good, then enjoy the time and the rewards. If bad, then learn from it and make sure you do not repeat. Either way, the next leadership moment you have will leave a memory for you and someone else.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

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Intentional Leadership for Others… ACTS

19 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Attitude, Authentic, Clarity, Communication, Deciding, Humility, Leader, Leadership, Power, Purpose, Servant, Transparent

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“Leadership is a way of thinking, a way of acting and, most importantly a way of communicating.” – Simon Sinek

When you convey your leadership to others, what comes to mind about it? One of the most important ideas to remember is our leadership should be about others. It is never about you. With that being the case, the question of how should we deliver our leadership is important. Is it intentional? Does it carry a positive servant attitude? Does it…?

As a Christian, I learned an acrostic to increase and have a more purposeful prayer life. It is ACTS. Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. A prayer life that models this style enables you to make sure everything has the correct place and is meaningful.
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Now, what if we applied that same acrostic to making our leadership intentional? What would each letter signify? It could go something like this:

Intentional Leadership for Others… ACTS

ACKNOWLEDGE – When we provide leadership, do you focus on yourself or others? Steven Canfield, Lead Teacher for Life Action Ministries, said: “We should never look past others.” When I heard him say this, I had to camp out on it for awhile. Why is this important? If we are providing leadership, it should be for the benefit of those around us. When we acknowledge everyone in the room, the receptiveness of the group increases.

CONSIDERATION – Acknowledgement leads to consideration. It is one thing to acknowledge someone, but not to consider the value they could or can bring creates a downer. Considering others allows the quality of your leadership to enhance. Which allows the empowerment of others. If you want the attention of someone, acknowledge and consider them. Their thoughts and willingness could be a great addition to your leadership.

TRANSPARENT – Everyone needs help in some area. Thinking that you have it all together with your leadership leads to arrogance. What weaknesses we have should not be a secret. That is why transparency is crucial to leadership. People do not want to be around fakeness. Your leadership value strengthens when others see the example your leadership brings with transparency. True leadership is when you can express your weaknesses or acknowledge the weaknesses of others and help them. Weak leaders can do neither of these. Let others see the true you.

STEP – Go where you need to go next. Sometimes that might be a step forward or a step back. Know your audience. Trying to force your leadership usually backfires. Let your leadership be a living conversation that can go and change direction as needed. Be willing to adapt. Part of great leadership is doing what is best for others. Know where to step. Just make sure you do not step on others. (Thanks to Allen Marett for helping me figure out a word for “S”)

This acrostic might seem silly or simple, but how many times do we know if we are reaching our audience? If you do not ask yourself this question, then admit it is all about you. The next time you have the opportunity to provide leadership, try ACTS; acknowledge others, consider their thoughts and who they are, be transparent and know where and how to step next. Each one is intentional and builds on the other. When we do that, a connection is in the making.

Here is the idea of leadership… You can know right, do right, and still not be right.

Remember… THINK LEADERSHIP!

©2018 J Clay Norton

Follow me on Twitter at TheBookChamber

Subscribe via email to my blog at the top of the page.

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Clear the Static of Communication

01 Friday Dec 2017

Posted by The Book Chamber in Clarity, Communication, Leader, Leadership, Understanding

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“Every time you have to speak, you are auditioning for leadership.” – James Humes

Have we ever considered the way we communicate reflects our leadership style? The more that I am around people, the more I am trying to be observant. For anyone to do this, they must shut up and listen. We can learn a lot from doing just that.

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I have three general ideas about our communication. We should strive for our leadership to equate with what we say our leadership is. To do this, we need to be conscious and intentional about how we communicate. There are three parties involved in communication: you, the other person, and bystanders. Each one of these is essential for understanding the other, and each one causes static within the conversation.

1. You
The best advice I have received on communicating was, “It’s not what you say, it is how you say it.” It has taken me a lot of years and conversations to figure this out. Good leaders are usually good communicators. If not by the way we speak, but also by our actions that speak. It is easy to spot a leader who talks out of both sides of their mouth or whose speech does not match up with their actions. Even when we have to convey bad news, there is a way to say it. Communicate with a servant heart. It benefit everyone listening.

2. The other person
Now, this is where it is hard. We have no way to control how the other person is going to perceive and receive what we say. Often, others will already have their mind made up. When this happens, it puts the speaker (you) in a no-win situation. Whatever the case may be, we must make sure that what we are saying is where we need to be with what we are conveying.

3. Bystanders
Know this; someone is always listening, intentionally or unintentionally. We are breathing social media access 24/7. It does not take what we said long to get “out there.” Regardless what the conversation was about; bystanders will interpret what they want. What we must do is to make sure our actions match our words and intentions. We cannot allow others to take our communication for what it is not (even though many will do just that).

Of the three, we can only control one. We have limited if no control of the other two. So, how should we communicate? We have to try our best to make sure what we say is effective and true. Let’s give people a reason to walk away and say something positive.  Most of all, we must do what is necessary to clear the static.

Remember… THINKLEADERSHIP

©2017 J Clay Norton

Follow me on Twitter at TheBookChamber

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