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~ J Clay Norton, Ed.D.

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Category Archives: Emotion

The Value of Tears…

29 Friday Apr 2022

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Affection, Clarity, Communication, Connections, Emotion, Heart, Leader, Leadership, Manipulation, Passion, Sensitive, Value

≈ 1 Comment

caring-quote_a-trear-is-made-of-1-water-99-feelings-560d3I saw this quote the other day for the first time ever, “The most expensive liquid in the world is a tear, made up of 1% water & 99% feelings.” I’m not sure if you have ever seen or heard it, but… it got me thinking.

First, let me say that there are some who “cry” at the drop of a handkerchief and those who fake their tears to manipulate… I’m not here to discuss them. They do not deserve the thoughts…

My initial thought was that when we shed tears, we let go of a value for someone or something we have inside ourselves. I have cried for and cried at others, and I am sure others have done the same for and at me. Contrary to popular belief, I have an emotional, sensitive side. Just ask those closest to me. As I thought about the quote above, I realized how true it is. There are happy tears, sad tears, and angry tears, and all tears exhibit personal feelings that are ours alone.

One of the hardest things to do is fight back the tears. You might hear someone say, “This is not the time nor the place.” Well, I believe tears show our humanness and trust. Being able to shed tears allows others to see the courage we have and the passion we are comfortable admitting. When something or someone is really important to us, with emotions attached, our authenticity can be seen, and the value of what we hold dear comes out as tears.

Showing emotion is not a weakness. Tears equate to a conviction. Tears sometimes are the words that cannot be said. Yes, there might be some vulnerability to shedding tears. Still, it can show others that we are in touch with reality and provide “relateableness” (yes, I made that word up).

And as for leadership, I much rather be around those who can express and exhibit emotions. There’s a HUGE difference between that and a person who is just emotional. When it comes to that, those who can express themselves are usually those who respond, whereas the “emotional leader” will only react.

So… let yourself be who you are. If you shed tears, then go ahead. If you don’t, ok… But what not to do, is stereotype. Because the tears that belong to others, those tears are theirs, and only they can determine their value.

I end the blog with this quote… “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.” – Washington Irving

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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24/7, 365 – Christmas All The Time… Why Not?

13 Monday Dec 2021

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Christmas, Consistency, Emotion, Engagement, Essence, Family, Friendship, Gift, Giving, Grace, Gratitude, Intentional, Kindness, Relationships, Servant, Sincerity

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All+Year+Long+LOGO

Here’s the “thing” I have noticed about me… The older I get, the more I pay attention to the lyrics of songs. Don’t read this and ask yourself, “Seriously?” Anyway… yes. I don’t know why, but I do. So, the other night, driving home, Christmas Time by Bryan Adams came on the radio, and for some reason, the words took on a different meaning… Look at the lyrics throughout the song…

We waited all through the year
For the day to appear
When we could be together in harmony

You know the time will come
Peace on earth for everyone
And we can live forver in a world where we are free
Let it shine for you and me

There’s something about Christmas time
Something about Christmas time
Makes you wish it was Christmas every day
To see the joy in the children’s eyes
The way that the old folks smile
Says that Christmas will never go away

We’re all as one tonight
Makes no difference if you’re black or white
‘Cause we can sing together in harmony
I know it’s not too late
The world would be a better place
If we could keep the spirit more than one day in the year
Send a message loud and clear

It’s the time of year everyone’s together
And celebrate here on Christmas day
When the ones you love are there
You can feel the magic in the air, you know it’s everywhere

There’s something about Christmas time
Please tell me Christmas will never go away

The month of November, with Thanksgiving, and the month of December, with Christmas, has a way of stirring emotions that just maybe, are not.. let’s say “used” during the other months. Why?

Take one more example… below is a speech in The Honeymooners by Ralph Kramden, played by Jackie Gleason, speaking to his wife Alice, played by Audrey Meadows, (Yes, we watch The Honeymooners at our house.) To watch, click here: Ralph Kramden’s Christmas Speech

“You know something, sweetheart? Christmas is… well, it’s about the best time of the whole year. When you walk down the streets, even for weeks before Christmas comes, and there’s lights hanging up, green ones and red ones, sometimes there’s snow and everyone’s hustling someplace. But they don’t hustle around Christmas time like they usually do. You know, they’re a little more friendlier… they bump into you, they laugh, and they say, “Pardon me. Merry Christmas,”… especially when it gets real close to Christmas night. Everybody’s walking home; you can hardly hear a sound. Bells are ringin’, kids are singing, the snow is coming down. And boy, what a pleasure it is to think that you’ve got someplace to go to. And that the place that you’re going to, there’s somebody in it that you really love. Someone, you’re nuts about. Merry Christmas.”

I get it; Christmas is one day out of the year. But, what if… we made our hearts live as if it were Christmas all the other days? I get it; feelings (those that are positive and good) are different at Christmas. But what if… our hearts wrapped up those feelings and carried them January – November? I get it; … you can fill in the rest with your own thoughts.

As we move into the middle of December and closer to Christmas day, the more thoughts, feelings, emotions are stirred because it is Christmas time; it might be just because I am getting older. Nonetheless, we would all be better if we celebrated Christmas joy all through the year. In the end, I guess it can boil down to what I have always said, “Just do right by people.”

Live life as if it were Christmas everyday, why not? Merry Christmas everyone. This coming Friday will be the last blog of 2021 and it will be my 2021 Christmas Thoughts Poem…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or following the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

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Seeing Faces Again…

29 Friday Oct 2021

Posted by The Book Chamber in Attitude, Character, Classroom Leadership, Classroom Management, Communication, Conversations, Education, Effective, Emotion, Engagement, Perceptions

≈ 2 Comments

This past week our school district lifted the mask mandate that has been in place for a while. Now masks are encouraged and optional. Before I begin with the blog, let me say that these thoughts are not about the mask mandate itself. It is not about political or religious views, cultural differences, one’s belief system to be vaccinated or not, the science, or any other reason a person chooses to wear or not wear a mask. Today’s thoughts are about seeing facial expressions, and that’s it…

For the first time since March of 2019, educators in our school can now see the faces of many of our students, and it is refreshing. As a teacher, seeing the facial reaction of students can say a lot, especially when a student does not say much, to begin with. Outside of words, a person’s face is the next best communicator one has to express themselves. A student’s face conveys a wealth of information. It can help a teacher determine their mood, their engagement, their emotions… which leads to feedback, and that is what teachers want to see.

1-Emoji-feelings-flashcards

One of the best attributes I think a teacher can have is having the capability to determine if they can see a student’s mind changing. Better yet, having those Jedi powers and “feel the force” of seeing the effect of mind-changing moments taking place. No more do we need to hold emoji flashcards to see what a student is experiencing. As an educator, seeing understanding or the lack of, on our students’ faces is key to how we continue our lessons many times. Do we go on, pause, restate, start over, etc…

On another note, think about this… Students can see your facial expressions also. As Haim Ginott said, “I’ve come to a frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It’s my personal approach that creates the climate. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather…” That personal approach is seen on our faces before we ever speak a word to our classes. What did/will your students see today in your class?

Facial expressions… yes, they communicate thoughts, good to be able to see them again.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on…

Twitter @thebookchamber

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

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Passion and the Why – Is it good or bad?

15 Friday Jan 2021

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Agenda, Attitude, Authentic, Character, Choice, Deciding, Decisions, Emotion, Know Your Why, Leader, Leadership, Motivation, Passion, Perception, Value

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In last week’s blog, I wrote on “Decision Making – Emotional or Factual?” One of the three areas where I believe decisions are made is with passion. A few people commented on it enough that I thought I would just use “passion” for our topic this week.

Going along with the title, is your “passion” for what you believe in good or bad? How you answer this, I know, is based on one’s perception and relativeness. However, I also know that putting perception and relativeness aside, your passion is defined by your values and even more by your core values. One of my great mentors at Mississippi College stated, “Values are what you believe in, core values are where you draw the line in the sand.”

A few friends emailed or stopped by to discuss “passion” as they see it regarding making decisions. Here are a few specific comments…

“To take positions we have to take for our clients, I must not only believe in the “rightness” of that position, but I need to have some passion for advancing that position… There are sometimes I do not believe in the “rightness” of what they wanted me to advance. The facts didn’t ‘geehaw’ with my core beliefs.”

“My experience is that some measure of passion for your positions on issues and core beliefs is necessary; otherwise, you come across as passive and lack genuineness.”

“It’s when passion is inappropriately expressed does it become detrimental. However, when you can exhibit passion properly (non-inflammatory), can passion help your cause.”

These are “spot on” with my belief as well on passion. Our passion has to be for the right thing. The “right thing” is where it gets fuzzy… I would say that the “right thing” depends on your “why”… the outcome you want (tangibles and intangibles), goals, motivation, attitude, etc… Is it for good or bad? Do you want revenge or to promote unity? Is your passion for selfish reasons, or is it being for others? Mostly, what is your agenda? I believe these are underlying thoughts as to what “fuels” our passion.

Upon a little digging… “The root of the word “passion” is found in the Latin word “passio.” From the late 1500’s “passio” began to take on the meaning of emotion and, in some cases, controlled emotion. And now we know why passion can help or hurt… it all depends on the “why” and if it is controlled.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts?  Follow me on…

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