Category Archives: Kindness

“Mixed Signals” A Leadership Wreck Waiting To Happen…

09 Friday Aug 2024

Posted by in Actions, Authentic, Clear, Consistency, Effective, Emotional Temperature, Essence, Intentional, Intentions, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Mixed Signals, Relationships, Value, Vision

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

Well, here we are… another school year. Another year to help society by leading, guiding, and educating the future. Also, another year of blogs to hopefully help trigger thoughts that will make us better leaders in all of our endeavors.

So, the summer gives us much time to reflect and think, and recently, I thought of how leadership does not work with those who send/give “mixed signals.”

First, let’s define what a mixed signal is… Mixed signals in leadership occur when actions contradict words or when priorities are not consistently communicated. Leaders should align their actions with the stated values of the vision and mission and ensure an understanding of its importance within the organization. This discrepancy can lead team members to question what is truly valued, causing uncertainty and disengagement.

But, there are also mixed signals at a personal level. A growing essence of “mixed signals” is when individuals feel they are not a priority. Here’s the question, “What do you do if someone gives you mixed signals?” Here is where I rationalize an answer… There are NO mixed signals.

For me, the phrase “mixed signals” is irrelevant and has no place in leadership. It’s just a bad phrase… It’s as if someone is “hot” and then “cold,” giving you “attention” and then going “silent.” That’s not “mixed signals,” it IS the signal. Hello!

It’s very clear the signal someone else is giving you, yet you wonder… It’s evident that one who portrays this is advertising that you are not a priority for them now. So, stop calling it mixed signals and start calling it what it is and accepting the truth that you are not a priority, and that is because of their behavior of inconsistency, which ultimately can become irrelevant. Also, stop chasing them down; stop trying harder on your end. It just leads to more stress, anxiety, emotional doubt, whatever… Stop making the relationship a priority on your end because they clearly do not reciprocate.

Leadership often raises its banner as the ability to inspire, guide, and influence others toward achieving a common goal. However, a frequently overlooked aspect of effective leadership is the clarity of communication, particularly in how leaders convey priorities. Mixed signals can erode trust, create confusion, and hinder progress within a team or organization. Effective leadership requires consistent and transparent communication.

When we lead with a servant-based leadership perspective, we never have to worry about the signals we send individually. The principle of valuing others and aligning our actions to help success demonstrates that we make every effort to be clear and consistent with our “signals.” Ensuring others feel valued and prioritized enhances our effectiveness as leaders and fosters a supportive reciprocating environment.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2024 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

Leadership and Warning Labels – What is your message?

21 Friday Apr 2023

Posted by in Actions, Attitude, Authentic, Conflict, Consistency, Decisions, Education, Educational Leadership, Influence, Insecurity, Integrity, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Passive-Agressive, Perception, Perceptions, Sensitive

≈ Leave a comment

When is the last time you read a warning label on a product? Some are quite funny, while others seem plain dumb with the question, “Who would do that anyway?” But nonetheless, they are printed right there on the product (fine print sometimes).

Here are just a few…
A cup of coffee – Caution, content may be hot.
Hairdryer – Do no use while sleeping
Wheelbarrow – Not intended for highway use
Baby Stroller – Remove child before folding
Nyquil – May cause drowsiness

You get the idea. I often wonder who made the particular blunder for that specific warning label?

personalized-ansi-warning-label-lb-3457-w

Segue to leadership…
It is often said that perception is not reality. But can everybody be wrong? A very good friend of mine says, “Everybody can’t be wrong about the same thing.” Perception becomes a way of understanding or interpreting things. At the same time, reality is the state of things as they actually exist rather than as they may be perceived or might be imagined. That said, what if we had a warning label about us for others to see printed right there on the package, that package being us?

Here might be a few…
Warning:
Do not think on your own – I micromanage
Do not disagree with me – I am moody
Do not cause conflict – I am insecure
Do not outshine me – I am passive-aggressive
Do not have a different opinion – I am highly flammable
Please handle with care – I get my feelings hurt easily
Be a yes person – If you are not, I will find fault
I’m sure you can add to the list…

How refreshing would it be if these warning labels were reversed?
Warning:
Think on your own – I delegate
It’s ok to disagree with me – Does not mean that you are wrong
Sometimes there will be conflict – I will not run from it, and I will support you
Outshine me – The better you are, the better we are
Have a different opinion – I encourage diverse thinking
Please handle with honesty – I will not get my feelings hurt easily
Do not be a yes person – I do not want minions around me

However, I believe the leadership we lead with does carry labels. You might say, “Well, that’s not how I lead,” or “I don’t care what someone else thinks.” But at the same time, we would quickly say that’s not the reputation we want. Well, is everyone wrong, then?

What are you doing to ensure that you have positive leadership labels instead of warning labels? In the end, we are all wearing some type of leadership label. The question is, what does your leadership label say about you?

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2023 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

Do you help your students “Seize the day?”

03 Friday Mar 2023

Posted by in Achieve, Actions, Classroom Leadership, Classroom Management, Conversations, Education, Educational Leadership, Encouragement, Expectations, Inspiration, Intentional, Intentions, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Purpose, Relationships, Teachers

≈ Leave a comment

“Carpe diem… Seize the day.” For the younger readers out there, this was a classic movie, Dead Poet’s Society, 1989. For us older, distinguished veterans, we should remember it well.

31bf5b47a9b5040ddb7cb1ce50037804

There is this one scene that I like where the teacher, Mr. Keating, played by Robin Williams, takes his class out to the commons on the first day of class and has them look at the former students who came before them. While there, Mr. Keating tries to awaken their spirits, per se, into making the most of the time they have. In the clip, these words are spoken by Mr. Keating, “… seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.”

Watch the clip here: Carpe diem… Seize the day – Dead Poet’s Society

While watching and listening to the clip, I thought about this… The other day I stopped by the bank on the way home, and the teller asked me how my day at school was. I said, “fine,” and she said, “I don’t know how ya’ll do it.” I figured she was talking about teaching… So I said, “Well, I can either focus on who they are or who they can be.” She just looked at me like I had two heads and changed the subject. I wondered if she wanted to continue the direction of the conversation, but I was not going to speak negatively about education. Sure, we have problems, but so does every other occupation. Anyway…

How does this all tie in? Well, how many times as educators do we “seize the day” to make the lives of our students extraordinary? It’s easy to focus on what walks through the classroom door, but do we ever consider what they can be when they walk out the door? Do we focus so much on the negative aspects of students that we forget that they might not become who they can be without our help? This goes for all aspects of education… Teachers and students, administrators and teachers, School leaders, etc.

While I believe Mr. Keating wanted his students to understand that, ultimately, it is up to the individual to “seize the day.” Knowing or unknowingly, at the same time, he was helping them understand that. That’s where we make the most of who our students can be. Giving them belief, giving them hope for their future, and modeling an example that says, be different for the right reason.

Oh, to help a student to feel extraordinary, to help them “seize the day.” Most might not do that on their own. Let’s help them “seize the day” by us doing the same. Our lives might just feel extraordinary if we do.

Let’s go fight the good fight of leadership. Someone has to…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2023 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Knowing Joy Beats Someone Telling Me I Should Be Miserable…

02 Friday Dec 2022

Posted by in Actions, Attitude, Christmas, Deciding, Decisions, Emotion, Encouragement, Inspiration, Intentions, Jesus, Joy, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Misery, Thankful

≈ Leave a comment

Ok… I am always excited when I learn something new, and boy, did I? The other day listening to talk radio on the way to school, I heard a segment on the reporting of the US Misery Index. I was like, what? Are you serious? There is an index out there that is supposedly going to tell me if I am miserable or not? Maybe not me specifically, but our nation as a whole.

So, I got to school and looked it up. Guess what? It’s real. Here’s the website: http://www.miseryindex.us

In short, here is the description… “The misery index was initiated by economist Arthur Okun, an adviser to President Lyndon Johnson in the 1960’s. It is simply the unemployment rate added to the inflation rate. It is assumed that both a higher rate of unemployment and a worsening of inflation both create economic and social costs for a country. A combination of rising inflation and more people out of work implies a deterioration in economic performance and a rise in the misery index.”

dont-be-miserable-orlando-espinosa

Yes, inflation is high. I’m not going to get into the unemployment rate and all of the other political stuff. However, inflation does not discriminate. I don’t like the price of milk and eggs right now, but I’m not going to make myself miserable over it. I like money in my pocket just as much as the next person. What I don’t need is an index gauging my thoughts for it. But… ultimately, I decide if I am miserable or not.

So, where’s the leadership in this? It all depends on you, I guess. My joy depends on these things – family, close friendships (that circle grows smaller as I get older), enjoyment of my work, and when it does not rain on Saturdays (so I can play golf), and foremost, my relationship with Christ.

As we are now in the Christmas season, if we listen to everything out there, we almost have no choice but to make ourselves miserable. Some small part of me believes that is what society wants; for us to be miserable, so we will depend on someone or something else. I am not going to sign up for that. You shouldn’t either.

Regardless of what the US Misery Index says, at any time of the year, I’m going to choose joy. Now, I have bad days; I’m sure we all do. However, the joy we should feel at Christmas, we should feel all year. Especially knowing the reason for Christmas, for that brings “Joy to the World” within itself.

And as for leadership… I get to choose that also. I get to decide what type of leader I want to be. I definitely do not need an index for that, either. As we begin the month of December and the Christmas season, focus on the joy that we have. If you have a chance, which we all do, spread some of it around.  It sure beats being miserable because somebody said, “Misery loves company.”

Let’s go fight the good fight of leadership. Someone has to…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…