Category Archives: Passive-Agressive

Truth matters, even when it is attacked…

28 Friday Apr 2023

Posted by in Actions, Honest, Insecurity, Leader, Leadership, Passive-Agressive, Purpose, Time, Truth

≈ 1 Comment

They say, “The truth hurts.” Well, non-truth does also.

For all practical purposes, I believe people care about what is true. Now, you can get caught up in the nuances of the definition of truth, but… Even Pilate asked Jesus, “What is truth?”

What happens when we cannot agree upon what truth is? Do we chalk it up to relativism? People can get stupid when debating “truth.” There lies the problem, people want to debate “truth” to prove a point. I’ve often said, and truly believe, that the truth does not need to be defended. However, it seems that we must do that now. Just listen and watch; it will not take long to see it happening. But to quote Mark Twain, “Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

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I joke with my family that if it were not for being disengaged from family and friends, I would be a candidate for being the first to colonize the moon, just to get away from fools and stupid in general. All I need are my books and golf clubs. Used to be that most of the stuff you saw happening, debated, and truth attacked would not even make a difference or would be forgotten five or ten years later. But now, these same happenings, debates, and truth attacks are beginning to have possible long-term effects; some even everlasting.

The definition of truth is now defined as what benefits the person speaking. Any conversation that goes against truth is immediately shut down, ridiculed, or shunned. When those see their “truth” attacked, they become divisive, aggressive, and sometimes passive-aggressive; we can even say violent. Truth becomes irrelevant, people become emotional, and chaos begins to simmer and eventually boil.

Truth will always be attacked. But you know what? Truth is going to win out. As we look forward, truth will continue to stand the test of time. Truth is spoken by honest people who have track records based on, you guessed it, truth. People who speak truth are seen as powerful, which scares many people. Why? Probably due to insecurity. It’s one thing to know the truth and act upon it, yet knowing and not acting on it is where the issues begin.

With light, no amount of darkness can overcome it. The same analogy works with truth; no amount of lies will diminish it. Truth is the constant. There will always be truth attackers and truth bashers. As long as we have people speaking truth, that is enough to give hope for future generations. Have the courage to do so.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2023 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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Leadership and Warning Labels – What is your message?

21 Friday Apr 2023

Posted by in Actions, Attitude, Authentic, Conflict, Consistency, Decisions, Education, Educational Leadership, Influence, Insecurity, Integrity, Kindness, Leader, Leadership, Passive-Agressive, Perception, Perceptions, Sensitive

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When is the last time you read a warning label on a product? Some are quite funny, while others seem plain dumb with the question, “Who would do that anyway?” But nonetheless, they are printed right there on the product (fine print sometimes).

Here are just a few…
A cup of coffee – Caution, content may be hot.
Hairdryer – Do no use while sleeping
Wheelbarrow – Not intended for highway use
Baby Stroller – Remove child before folding
Nyquil – May cause drowsiness

You get the idea. I often wonder who made the particular blunder for that specific warning label?

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Segue to leadership…
It is often said that perception is not reality. But can everybody be wrong? A very good friend of mine says, “Everybody can’t be wrong about the same thing.” Perception becomes a way of understanding or interpreting things. At the same time, reality is the state of things as they actually exist rather than as they may be perceived or might be imagined. That said, what if we had a warning label about us for others to see printed right there on the package, that package being us?

Here might be a few…
Warning:
Do not think on your own – I micromanage
Do not disagree with me – I am moody
Do not cause conflict – I am insecure
Do not outshine me – I am passive-aggressive
Do not have a different opinion – I am highly flammable
Please handle with care – I get my feelings hurt easily
Be a yes person – If you are not, I will find fault
I’m sure you can add to the list…

How refreshing would it be if these warning labels were reversed?
Warning:
Think on your own – I delegate
It’s ok to disagree with me – Does not mean that you are wrong
Sometimes there will be conflict – I will not run from it, and I will support you
Outshine me – The better you are, the better we are
Have a different opinion – I encourage diverse thinking
Please handle with honesty – I will not get my feelings hurt easily
Do not be a yes person – I do not want minions around me

However, I believe the leadership we lead with does carry labels. You might say, “Well, that’s not how I lead,” or “I don’t care what someone else thinks.” But at the same time, we would quickly say that’s not the reputation we want. Well, is everyone wrong, then?

What are you doing to ensure that you have positive leadership labels instead of warning labels? In the end, we are all wearing some type of leadership label. The question is, what does your leadership label say about you?

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2023 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

Looking in the peripheral? You’ll lose your center focus…

14 Friday Oct 2022

Posted by in Actions, Decisions, Importance, Know Your Why, Leader, Leadership, Passive-Agressive, Purpose, Useful

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This past weekend, Breana and I installed a Ring security device on her apartment. Nothing major, just another level of security. As a dad, that’s important… 40854404

The Ring security device… it’s pretty cool how it works. If Ring asks, I’ll do commercials for them. The security measure I am most impressed with is its panoramic range. It can cover a good bit. I stood in the same spot and could not see what the device could see. I’m like, “How can that work?”

Anyway… as usual, it got me thinking.

Let’s change out the word panoramic to peripheral. How much of our leadership vision is so focused on stuff on the side that we do not see what is going on right in front of us? How many leaders do you know whose vision is so focused on the nuances of the side that they miss what is right in front of them that they do not see or maybe do not want to see?

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I would dare say that most leaders I know focused on the side stuff are micro-managers. Focused so much on the trivial, they believe impactful results can happen here. Small things on the side can help a leader create mini successes. They get caught there because it’s an area where they can flex their leadership the most; be seen and heard. Let’s say passive-aggressive also. However, if most of their effort is placed on the peripheral, what action is being taken on matters that mean the most at the core?

Eventually, our peripheral vision will max out. We have all followed the pen to the side of our head at the eye doctor. But that still does not excuse us for not knowing what is happening. Great leaders know how to move in and out of the peripherals. Be a leader that understands the things on the side while knowing the important things are in front of us. If a matter on the peripheral becomes important enough, it will move to the center area.

I equate peripheral vision to a side for a meal. I don’t go to a restaurant to order a side dish only; it’s just what I want to eat while I’m focused on what I want to order to begin with.

I’m glad the Ring security device has great peripheral/panoramic vision. It catches every movement within its range, helping solve a security issue. It would be nice if leadership could be the same way. I guess that’s why they say many cannot see the trees because of the forest.

Let’s go fight the good fight of leadership. Someone has to…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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Sinkholes and Leadership… It’s a Foundational Problem

09 Friday Apr 2021

Posted by in Authentic, Foundation, Leader, Leadership, Passive-Agressive, Sinkholes

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Sinkholes – You never know they are there… until the last moment when you step into one. A mirage on the surface, a bottomless abyss under… Indeed, a foundation problem, and we only see the results of them after time.

Over time, in either case, underlying “shifting” goes on. The same can be said for leadership in society and, in some cases, within ourselves.

Think about it in these terms… a sinkhole is an area of ground where water drains no other way than down and stays right there—all that water, all the junk; nowhere to go. Somewhere, something is going on underneath the surface. Sinkholes “just don’t happen.” Slowly, small incremental changes over time, and… wow, there it is. And that is when we ask ourselves, “How did that get there?”

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I offer this analogy as to what we see in many areas of leadership today. What happened with leadership where it is no longer loyal, servant-based, others first? One could argue that some leaders are just a sinkhole, to begin with; yes, that is probably true. But what about leaders who start out with a great foundation? No one sees the eroding, wasting away.

Trust in authentic leadership is quickly dissolving in our society, but it has gradually happened, and we have allowed it. Somewhere, we have compromised here and there. While others have taken a hard-line stance, others just agree to disagree and move closer to their thinking. Through said compromise and our own passiveness, we are the ones who are helping create sinkholes. Instead of filling them up and hardening the foundation to stand, we will still allow it to be watered down, knowing that the water has no place to go beyond staying in that sinkhole.

I always end my classes with this, “Society needs good people, go forth and prosper.” We know what good leadership should be and what it should look like. However, we must also affirm that. When we/others start leading with self-based interests, no loyalty, passive-aggressiveness, you name it… the leadership foundation disappears. Unseen to the eye, until we have stepped into it or the crack is so big, no amount of repair can help.

We had a sinkhole in our yard a good time back, maybe ten years or so. It was big. I asked that same question as stated above, “How did that get there?” That sinkhole does not exist anymore. I went to HomeDepot and bought a weeping willow sapling for $9.95, end of the year plant sale. That sapling looked bad (think Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree). We planted that tree in that sinkhole with good dirt, staked it to grow upright, and of course… showed it some love. We rebuilt the foundation, the roots took hold, and we now have a huge weeping willow in our yard.

As leaders, let’s do our part to at least try to see areas where sinkholes and foundation problems can occur and be proactive in making sure that we do what we need to do to keep it from falling in. Once it falls, much work has to be done for it to become solid again.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2021 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on…

Twitter @thebookchamber

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…