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~ J Clay Norton, Ed.D.

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Category Archives: Character

Narcissism: From Decay to Destruction in Leadership.. Born of Selfish Pride

19 Friday Sep 2025

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Attitude, Character, Christian Worldview, Culture, Decay, Decisions, Decline, Disaster, Educational Leadership, Empathy, Facade, Humility, Influence, Narcissism

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AuthenticLeadership, business, CharacterMatters, Education, Educational Leadership, EgoVsHumility, Humility, Leader, Leadership, LeadershipDevelopment, LeadershipMatters, Learning, Narcissism, PrideBeforeTheFall, Respect, school, SelflessLeadership, ServantLeadership, Teachers, teaching, toxic, ToxicLeadership, TransformationalLeadership

C. S. Lewis, in some of his sermons and in Mere Christianity1, described pride as “the great sin.” Unlike other vices, pride stands in direct opposition to God because it refuses to acknowledge anything greater than itself. Yet it is important to distinguish between two forms of pride. A healthy sense of self-pride, rooted in the acknowledgment of God-given worth and responsibility, is not wrong. In fact, it equips leaders to carry their responsibilities with courage and stewardship. But… when pride distorts into selfish pride, it eclipses truth, humility, and service. Lewis noted that pride thrives in comparison; it is never content with being good or accomplished, but only in being better than others. Such pride blinds a person to truth and breeds contempt for those they are meant to serve. What Lewis made clear is that selfish pride is not just a character flaw; it is the root of spiritual decay.

Lewis’ warning about spiritual decay finds a striking parallel in leadership. I’m sure we all have our own definition of what narcissism is, but in my own summation, narcissism is an excessive preoccupation with self, marked by entitlement, a hunger for admiration, and a lack of empathy. I’ll go ahead and ask the question now, “Do you know anyone like this?”

In practice, this reveals itself not as guidance but as domination. A narcissistic leader seeks followers, not partners. They crave admiration rather than accountability. Instead of building others up, they drain their teams through manipulation and the constant need for validation. Over time, this dismantles trust. Where vision and service should flourish, control and fear take their place, creating a toxic environment. As Lewis warned, pride always leads to enmity… enmity between man and man, and between man and God. Ultimately, narcissistic leadership destroys the very community it was entrusted to grow. What often goes unseen is that narcissism is not born of strength but of insecurity… the louder the ego demands admiration, the weaker the foundation it is hiding.

This kind of destruction rarely begins with open arrogance; it begins quietly. We often hear that there is a fine line between ideas, ideals, and ideology, and just as the line between healthy self-pride and destructive selfish pride grows ever thinner, it is along that fragile divide that narcissism quietly takes root. True self-pride affirms God-given identity and responsibility, but selfish pride inflates the ego until it eclipses everything else, even the heart. That distortion gives birth to narcissism, and when it goes unchecked, it erodes the very foundations of leadership.

Yet having a Christian worldview foundation points us in a better way. Christlike, servant-based leadership offers a stark contrast: humility, service, and sacrifice. True leaders draw strength not from self-exaltation but from self-forgetfulness. As Lewis observed, “the truly humble man will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.” Such leaders recognize their worth in God and extend that recognition to others. In this light, self-pride does not become arrogance but stewardship, the courage to carry responsibility without turning it into a throne, worshiped only by selfish pride, that only a narcissist can sit on.

When self-pride morphs into selfish pride, narcissism becomes the master. Leadership ceases to serve a higher purpose and instead serves only the leader’s ego. In that shift, both the leader and the community lose their way. Lewis captured it perfectly: “A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” Leadership dies in the gaze of narcissism, but it flourishes in humility.

1Lewis, C. S. (1952). Mere Christianity. Geoffrey Bles.

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2025 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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Stop Leading to Survive – Start Leading with Purpose

25 Friday Apr 2025

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Anchored, Character, Circumstances, Clarity, Classroom Leadership, Compassion, Conviction, Education, Educational Leadership, Emotion, Emotional Temperature, Empathy, Empower, Know Your Why, Leader, Leadership, Mixed Signals, Purpose, Teachers, Transformational, Trust

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business, Education, Educational Leadership, Leader, Leadership, Learning, Respect, school, Teachers, teaching

Have you noticed lately how society wants to make leadership complex and move at a speed that is too fast? All you have to do is just look around. Also, you may notice that many leaders are not leading from a deep sense of purpose; they’re leading from a place of longing. Longing for meaning, for validation, and for results, often defaulting to a “whatever works” philosophy. However, when they start chasing effectiveness without direction, they sacrifice the very essence of leadership – clarity, conviction, and character.

Leadership is meant to be anchored in purpose – with a strong, stable, and consistent foundation. Without it, even the most charismatic or skilled leaders drift, and depending on the strength and speed of the current, they can be taken anywhere. When purpose is missing, decisions become reactive rather than proactive, and strategies become short-sighted rather than transformative. A leader may gain temporary success, but the tell-tale signs of losing something far more valuable will be seen, which are trust, direction, and emotional resilience.

The tragedy is that the longing for meaning, validation, and results, when left unmet, often leads to purposeless leadership. It becomes a cycle; the more leaders seek to find purpose in external wins, the more disconnected they become from internal values. Without emotional alignment, leadership becomes mechanical and goes through the motions. The spark is gone, passion is replaced by pressure, and vision gives way to vagueness.

True leadership flows from inner conviction, not circumstantial or situational convenience. It requires doing the hard work of defining your “why” before driving the “what.” Purpose brings focus and fuels positive emotions of hope, empathy, and courage, all of which are essential for inspiration and creating a lasting impact.

Time-trusted leadership does not settle for what merely works – that’s survival. Instead, it pursues what matters – that’s significance. The world doesn’t need more successful leaders. It needs and requires more purposeful ones! Those who lead with clarity, conviction, and character.

It doesn’t matter where or at what level your leadership takes place, when leaders are clear about their purpose, they can offer others a reason to follow. At the heart of all great leadership is not just action but meaning, purposeful meaning.

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2025 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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A Leadership of Convenience is Inconvenient for Everyone

18 Friday Oct 2024

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Character, Consistency, Context, Effective, Facade, Honest, Importance, Integrity, Leader, Leadership, Sacrifice, Servant, Trust, Truth, Value, Vision

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business, coaching, Education, Educational Leadership, Leader, Leadership, Learning, management, personal-development, Respect, school, Teachers, teaching

Every morning, driving to school, I listen to the Wall Street Journal Report. I like being aware of what is going on in the world… Often, they have a report from MarketWatch, and yesterday’s report caught my attention. The piece is titled, Here’s why more Americans than ever now shop at Amazon (please note, this is not an endorsement of Amazon, but I do love Amazon). In the article, this statement was made, “Analysts and others note that Amazon’s success when it comes to selling household goods is rooted in three key factors: selection, pricing, and speed of delivery.”

As you have often heard me say, “It got me to thinking.” However, I’m going to encompass all three of the above factors with the thought of convenience. All in all, Amazon has a wide selection range, their prices are competitive, and the delivery speed is usually two days or less with Prime membership. As consumers, we place a significant amount of trust in the companies we buy from. This trust is not just about the products we purchase but also about the convenience these companies offer as a byproduct of that trust. The importance of trust in consumer relationships is a key element that parallels the role of trust in effective leadership. No one cares for the convenience of a product if trust is not gained or there to begin with.

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However, when it comes to leadership…

Leadership is a demanding responsibility that requires consistency, commitment, and a clear vision. I would think everyone can agree on that. Leadership of convenience, where decisions are made based on ease, comfort, short-term gain, or not knowing background or context, often misses the mark for true, lasting effectiveness. At its core, this approach prioritizes what is expedient over what is right, creating a leadership style that is reactionary, inconsistent, and unsustainable. The role of trust in leadership is paramount, as leaders who choose convenience over principle may win momentary victories but fail to build the trust, respect, and long-term success that real leadership requires.

Leadership should not be about self-interest or personal comfort, but often, we see it established in weak leadership. It’s about serving others and doing what is right by them, even when it’s tough, costly, or unpopular. Effective leadership demands sacrifice, putting the needs of others first, even when it’s inconvenient. The need for sacrifice in effective leadership is a key aspect that leaders must understand, as by only engaging when it’s comfortable, leaders signal that they are not invested in long-term success. This weight of leadership responsibility should be felt by every leader.

Leaders driven by convenience often lack vision and fail to inspire. When choices are made based on what is easy or comfortable rather than what aligns with core values or long-term goals, followers become disengaged and confused. 

True leadership embraces responsibility over comfort every day that ends in “y.” It requires courage to stand firm in one’s values and convictions, even when inconvenient. Leadership prioritizing conviction over convenience creates real change built on a foundation of integrity and is foundational to leadership. Without it, credibility crumbles like the façade a leader has created.

And with all of this, the speed of trust at which you can make true leadership happen as a leader speaks volumes about your leadership style and the characteristics you base your leadership on. Just don’t make it one of convenience. 

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2024 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

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Leadership About Nothing…

22 Friday Sep 2023

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Character, Connections, Culture, Deciding, Decisions, Distractions, Leader, Leadership, Vision

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For many of us, we are showing our age now. From 1989 – 1998, Seinfeld was on the air. The plot… Nothing. Unless you heard Jerry and George say it when they were trying to pitch their show in one of the episodes, I wonder if it really ever registered. Now, we watch the reruns on Netflix, fast-forwarding thirty-plus years; I pick up on different aspects of the episodes and the nuisances.

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Thinking on this the other day, I realized I couldn’t wrap my mind around a topic that wasn’t a needed discussion for this week’s blog. So I thought, “How do I write about nothing?” That’s when I realized that maybe I do have something…

Think about it this way: society constantly urges us to be on the move, achieve more, and accumulate stuff. These unofficial mandates bring to mind the profound lessons that “nothing” can teach and help us with our leadership. Now, you might be thinking, where is this going, and isn’t “nothing” about leadership paradoxical?

Well, a few thoughts… the more I think about it, the more I realize that “nothing” provides valuable insights into the effectiveness of our leadership and its self-awareness…

When “nothing” happens, a state of stillness happens, and the mind is clear of preconceived notions. This allows for the open space of creativity, critical thinking, and, most importantly, active listening (something that I will continue to work on personally).

Many leaders who have the characteristics of “look at me,” “see me,” and “hear me” cannot set aside their ego. They constantly want to assert themselves, creating an environment where others are fearful to speak and contribute. These are the leaders who definitely think they are and have “something.”

Leadership is also about letting go of unnecessary burdens, distractions, and clutter… essentially embracing “nothingness” to focus on what truly matters. Quality leadership prioritizes goals and actions aligned with the overall well-being of others. They simplify the complexities and remove barriers to progress. They discern what is essential from what is not needed, leading successfully with clarity and purpose.

“Nothing” also symbolizes humility and the willingness to admit when one doesn’t know or understand something. We need more leaders who can accept this. Great leadership is not afraid to acknowledge gaps in their knowledge or experience, seeking guidance and learning from others. When this happens, humility fosters a culture of continuous growth and improvement, benefiting everyone.

My great mentor, Dr. Hassleman, used to say, “Leadership is not hard; just do the right thing by people.” In some way, I see the value of “nothingness” in this. By taking myself out and putting others in, we open ourselves up to endless possibilities. It’s a fascinating concept when we think of leadership this way. Our decision-making will be better, and connections will become more genuine. That’s what leadership needs… genuineness. It’s amazing what you can get out of nothing.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2023 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

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