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~ J Clay Norton, Ed.D.

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Narcissism: From Decay to Destruction in Leadership.. Born of Selfish Pride

19 Friday Sep 2025

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Attitude, Character, Christian Worldview, Culture, Decay, Decisions, Decline, Disaster, Educational Leadership, Empathy, Facade, Humility, Influence, Narcissism

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AuthenticLeadership, business, CharacterMatters, Education, Educational Leadership, EgoVsHumility, Humility, Leader, Leadership, LeadershipDevelopment, LeadershipMatters, Learning, Narcissism, PrideBeforeTheFall, Respect, school, SelflessLeadership, ServantLeadership, Teachers, teaching, toxic, ToxicLeadership, TransformationalLeadership

C. S. Lewis, in some of his sermons and in Mere Christianity1, described pride as “the great sin.” Unlike other vices, pride stands in direct opposition to God because it refuses to acknowledge anything greater than itself. Yet it is important to distinguish between two forms of pride. A healthy sense of self-pride, rooted in the acknowledgment of God-given worth and responsibility, is not wrong. In fact, it equips leaders to carry their responsibilities with courage and stewardship. But… when pride distorts into selfish pride, it eclipses truth, humility, and service. Lewis noted that pride thrives in comparison; it is never content with being good or accomplished, but only in being better than others. Such pride blinds a person to truth and breeds contempt for those they are meant to serve. What Lewis made clear is that selfish pride is not just a character flaw; it is the root of spiritual decay.

Lewis’ warning about spiritual decay finds a striking parallel in leadership. I’m sure we all have our own definition of what narcissism is, but in my own summation, narcissism is an excessive preoccupation with self, marked by entitlement, a hunger for admiration, and a lack of empathy. I’ll go ahead and ask the question now, “Do you know anyone like this?”

In practice, this reveals itself not as guidance but as domination. A narcissistic leader seeks followers, not partners. They crave admiration rather than accountability. Instead of building others up, they drain their teams through manipulation and the constant need for validation. Over time, this dismantles trust. Where vision and service should flourish, control and fear take their place, creating a toxic environment. As Lewis warned, pride always leads to enmity… enmity between man and man, and between man and God. Ultimately, narcissistic leadership destroys the very community it was entrusted to grow. What often goes unseen is that narcissism is not born of strength but of insecurity… the louder the ego demands admiration, the weaker the foundation it is hiding.

This kind of destruction rarely begins with open arrogance; it begins quietly. We often hear that there is a fine line between ideas, ideals, and ideology, and just as the line between healthy self-pride and destructive selfish pride grows ever thinner, it is along that fragile divide that narcissism quietly takes root. True self-pride affirms God-given identity and responsibility, but selfish pride inflates the ego until it eclipses everything else, even the heart. That distortion gives birth to narcissism, and when it goes unchecked, it erodes the very foundations of leadership.

Yet having a Christian worldview foundation points us in a better way. Christlike, servant-based leadership offers a stark contrast: humility, service, and sacrifice. True leaders draw strength not from self-exaltation but from self-forgetfulness. As Lewis observed, “the truly humble man will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.” Such leaders recognize their worth in God and extend that recognition to others. In this light, self-pride does not become arrogance but stewardship, the courage to carry responsibility without turning it into a throne, worshiped only by selfish pride, that only a narcissist can sit on.

When self-pride morphs into selfish pride, narcissism becomes the master. Leadership ceases to serve a higher purpose and instead serves only the leader’s ego. In that shift, both the leader and the community lose their way. Lewis captured it perfectly: “A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” Leadership dies in the gaze of narcissism, but it flourishes in humility.

1Lewis, C. S. (1952). Mere Christianity. Geoffrey Bles.

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2025 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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The Gradual Decay of Leadership: Lessons from Mississippi’s Drought-Stricken Pines…

04 Friday Apr 2025

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Decisions, Decline, Education, Educational Leadership, Facade, Leader, Leadership, Teachers

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business, Education, Educational Leadership, Leader, Leadership, Learning, school, Teachers

Have you seen any dead pine trees lately? It doesn’t take long to see them everywhere you look…

It’s the South, it’s hot, it’s Mississippi, and the drought last summer has devastated pine trees that once stood strong and full of life up and down our highways and roads. Now, many stand lifeless, discolored, brittle, and unable to fulfill their purpose. The slow, gradual decay… decay reflecting what happens when leadership begins to die, often long before anyone notices.

The Subtle Beginning: Stress and Decline

Drought doesn’t kill a pine tree overnight, incrementally weakening its defenses. The tree struggles to absorb nutrients to thrive; its needles begin to yellow, the bark sheds, and the top branches snap and fall. Neglect, ignoring problems, failing to adapt, and losing sight of vision (that should be shared) are the starting points for dead leadership. Leadership under self-inflicted and/or outward tension may stop investing in their team’s growth, becoming reactive instead of proactive.

The Unseen Transition: Vulnerability to Invasion

Once weakened, pine trees become prime targets for pests like the southern pine beetle. Have you seen what they can do to a tree? These wood-boring tree-killer invaders finish what the drought started, killing from the inside out. Similarly, weak leadership allows toxicity to spread. Poor communication, mistrust, and disengagement take root, eroding the culture from within. Without outside intervention, the leadership structure becomes hollow, a façade…

The Inevitable End: Structural Collapse

“The sky is falling.” No, those are dead pine trees falling. Eventually, a dead pine tree will not be able to stand. The wood dries out and erodes with the right pressure; time takes over. When it can no longer stand, it falls; when it does, it destroys anything it hits. Dead leadership follows the same path. When leadership lacks vision, integrity, and adaptability, it cannot and will not weather storms. Leadership decisions will become erratic and often moody, leading to plummeting morale and collapse, and ignoring certain situations will become all the easier.

But, there are preventative measures… Unlike dead pine trees, there is a chance to restore leadership before it reaches the point of no return. The preparations you would use in a drought to save a pine tree (watering, fertilizer, insecticide sprays) are great comparisons that can be used for leadership; awareness, renewal, and intentional action can bring fresh life. Great leaders recognize stress early, address vulnerabilities, and build resilience.

The question is—are you, in your leadership, a thriving pine or a dead pine tree waiting to fall?

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2025 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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A Leadership of Convenience is Inconvenient for Everyone

18 Friday Oct 2024

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Character, Consistency, Context, Effective, Facade, Honest, Importance, Integrity, Leader, Leadership, Sacrifice, Servant, Trust, Truth, Value, Vision

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business, coaching, Education, Educational Leadership, Leader, Leadership, Learning, management, personal-development, Respect, school, Teachers, teaching

Every morning, driving to school, I listen to the Wall Street Journal Report. I like being aware of what is going on in the world… Often, they have a report from MarketWatch, and yesterday’s report caught my attention. The piece is titled, Here’s why more Americans than ever now shop at Amazon (please note, this is not an endorsement of Amazon, but I do love Amazon). In the article, this statement was made, “Analysts and others note that Amazon’s success when it comes to selling household goods is rooted in three key factors: selection, pricing, and speed of delivery.”

As you have often heard me say, “It got me to thinking.” However, I’m going to encompass all three of the above factors with the thought of convenience. All in all, Amazon has a wide selection range, their prices are competitive, and the delivery speed is usually two days or less with Prime membership. As consumers, we place a significant amount of trust in the companies we buy from. This trust is not just about the products we purchase but also about the convenience these companies offer as a byproduct of that trust. The importance of trust in consumer relationships is a key element that parallels the role of trust in effective leadership. No one cares for the convenience of a product if trust is not gained or there to begin with.

1520088403306

However, when it comes to leadership…

Leadership is a demanding responsibility that requires consistency, commitment, and a clear vision. I would think everyone can agree on that. Leadership of convenience, where decisions are made based on ease, comfort, short-term gain, or not knowing background or context, often misses the mark for true, lasting effectiveness. At its core, this approach prioritizes what is expedient over what is right, creating a leadership style that is reactionary, inconsistent, and unsustainable. The role of trust in leadership is paramount, as leaders who choose convenience over principle may win momentary victories but fail to build the trust, respect, and long-term success that real leadership requires.

Leadership should not be about self-interest or personal comfort, but often, we see it established in weak leadership. It’s about serving others and doing what is right by them, even when it’s tough, costly, or unpopular. Effective leadership demands sacrifice, putting the needs of others first, even when it’s inconvenient. The need for sacrifice in effective leadership is a key aspect that leaders must understand, as by only engaging when it’s comfortable, leaders signal that they are not invested in long-term success. This weight of leadership responsibility should be felt by every leader.

Leaders driven by convenience often lack vision and fail to inspire. When choices are made based on what is easy or comfortable rather than what aligns with core values or long-term goals, followers become disengaged and confused. 

True leadership embraces responsibility over comfort every day that ends in “y.” It requires courage to stand firm in one’s values and convictions, even when inconvenient. Leadership prioritizing conviction over convenience creates real change built on a foundation of integrity and is foundational to leadership. Without it, credibility crumbles like the façade a leader has created.

And with all of this, the speed of trust at which you can make true leadership happen as a leader speaks volumes about your leadership style and the characteristics you base your leadership on. Just don’t make it one of convenience. 

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2024 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

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Leadership Manipulation Only Wants Yes or No Answers…

08 Friday Apr 2022

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Agenda, Facade, Insecurity, Intentions, Leader, Leadership, Manipulation

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Have you ever been caught in a situation where someone wanted to “catch you” in your answer? Everything seems fine one-on-one, but let an audience form, and then the true intent comes out; the trap. In their smugness, they ask a question, only wanting a yes or a no. Any other answer response is not what they want? Why?

You see this happen a lot in leadership. People want an answer by manipulating you and the conversation. Think of spin control… Instead of getting into that trap, you could throw them for a loop and answer their question with a question for them. Keeping the topic the same allows them to possibly fall into their own verbal trap.

I would dare say that most people who demand a yes or no answer have fudged and twisted the truth of the question anyway. Some just lie from the onset. What’s funny here is that if they knew half of what they were actually asking, they would know that others see right through their facade.

ONLy-yes-or-No-696x583

Leaders who ask loaded questions… you know any? They put those who are to answer in a lose-lose situation. Answer yes, answer no, they got you. When this happens, truth becomes irrelevant. Once someone has their mind made up, it does not matter if the truth is told or not. They want the answer they want to hear.

This leadership manipulation comes down to tautology logic, where a statement is true by necessity or by virtue of its logical form. The Latin for this is tertium non datur – as if there is no possibility of a third answer. I would say beware of people who ask questions in this form. They are only out to help themselves.

Insecure, weak leaders do not like to be challenged. Agreeing to disagree is nonexistent in their world. When they do not get the yes or no answer they are looking for, they are challenged on a much deeper level. They take it personally, and then you become the problem.

I would say that the leadership lesson here is not to be manipulated. However, we all know that we cannot control others’ thoughts and actions. Sometimes… But a lesson I believe that is helpful is to make sure we are firmly planted with our convictions that others would dare not try to manipulate us. We will be less likely to be manipulated when we are.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2022 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… Twitter @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

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