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~ J Clay Norton, Ed.D.

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Category Archives: Influence

Narcissism: From Decay to Destruction in Leadership.. Born of Selfish Pride

19 Friday Sep 2025

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Attitude, Character, Christian Worldview, Culture, Decay, Decisions, Decline, Disaster, Educational Leadership, Empathy, Facade, Humility, Influence, Narcissism

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AuthenticLeadership, business, CharacterMatters, Education, Educational Leadership, EgoVsHumility, Humility, Leader, Leadership, LeadershipDevelopment, LeadershipMatters, Learning, Narcissism, PrideBeforeTheFall, Respect, school, SelflessLeadership, ServantLeadership, Teachers, teaching, toxic, ToxicLeadership, TransformationalLeadership

C. S. Lewis, in some of his sermons and in Mere Christianity1, described pride as “the great sin.” Unlike other vices, pride stands in direct opposition to God because it refuses to acknowledge anything greater than itself. Yet it is important to distinguish between two forms of pride. A healthy sense of self-pride, rooted in the acknowledgment of God-given worth and responsibility, is not wrong. In fact, it equips leaders to carry their responsibilities with courage and stewardship. But… when pride distorts into selfish pride, it eclipses truth, humility, and service. Lewis noted that pride thrives in comparison; it is never content with being good or accomplished, but only in being better than others. Such pride blinds a person to truth and breeds contempt for those they are meant to serve. What Lewis made clear is that selfish pride is not just a character flaw; it is the root of spiritual decay.

Lewis’ warning about spiritual decay finds a striking parallel in leadership. I’m sure we all have our own definition of what narcissism is, but in my own summation, narcissism is an excessive preoccupation with self, marked by entitlement, a hunger for admiration, and a lack of empathy. I’ll go ahead and ask the question now, “Do you know anyone like this?”

In practice, this reveals itself not as guidance but as domination. A narcissistic leader seeks followers, not partners. They crave admiration rather than accountability. Instead of building others up, they drain their teams through manipulation and the constant need for validation. Over time, this dismantles trust. Where vision and service should flourish, control and fear take their place, creating a toxic environment. As Lewis warned, pride always leads to enmity… enmity between man and man, and between man and God. Ultimately, narcissistic leadership destroys the very community it was entrusted to grow. What often goes unseen is that narcissism is not born of strength but of insecurity… the louder the ego demands admiration, the weaker the foundation it is hiding.

This kind of destruction rarely begins with open arrogance; it begins quietly. We often hear that there is a fine line between ideas, ideals, and ideology, and just as the line between healthy self-pride and destructive selfish pride grows ever thinner, it is along that fragile divide that narcissism quietly takes root. True self-pride affirms God-given identity and responsibility, but selfish pride inflates the ego until it eclipses everything else, even the heart. That distortion gives birth to narcissism, and when it goes unchecked, it erodes the very foundations of leadership.

Yet having a Christian worldview foundation points us in a better way. Christlike, servant-based leadership offers a stark contrast: humility, service, and sacrifice. True leaders draw strength not from self-exaltation but from self-forgetfulness. As Lewis observed, “the truly humble man will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.” Such leaders recognize their worth in God and extend that recognition to others. In this light, self-pride does not become arrogance but stewardship, the courage to carry responsibility without turning it into a throne, worshiped only by selfish pride, that only a narcissist can sit on.

When self-pride morphs into selfish pride, narcissism becomes the master. Leadership ceases to serve a higher purpose and instead serves only the leader’s ego. In that shift, both the leader and the community lose their way. Lewis captured it perfectly: “A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” Leadership dies in the gaze of narcissism, but it flourishes in humility.

1Lewis, C. S. (1952). Mere Christianity. Geoffrey Bles.

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2025 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

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Seeking a Thrill in Leadership? It’s Scary…

01 Friday Nov 2024

Posted by The Book Chamber in Actions, Culture, Educational Leadership, Effective, Empathy, Empower, Encouragement, Humility, Influence, Inspiration, Leader, Leadership, Servant, Transformational

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business, Education, Educational Leadership, Leader, Leadership, Learning, management, personal-development, Respect, school, Teachers, teaching

With yesterday being October 31st and Halloween. Many people dressed and wanted to create a scare and possibly a thrill. A purposeful thought, nonetheless, reasoned for whatever. But here’s a thought: do we ever wonder if those who seek a thrill actually scare people?

DALL·E 2024-11-01 07.12.03 - A thought-provoking image illustrating the theme of thrill-seeking versus responsible leadership. Show a leader standing on a dimly lit stage, wearing

I believe it happens more than we realize in leadership every day…

At its core, leadership is about responsibility and should not be thrill-seeking. When individuals chase, want, and advocate for leadership roles for the excitement or the ego boost, it often leads to dangerous outcomes. Most of the time, that danger is hidden. Leadership is not inherently glamorous; it comes with pressures, accountability, and the weight of guiding others toward shared goals; this in itself should humbly scare. However, when leaders pursue the role for excitement or a desire to be in control, it can lead to impulsive behaviors that make decision-making and risk-taking harmful to any established positive culture. This is a danger we must be cautious of.

True leaders (and it’s unfortunate that we have to put “true” in front of leader(s)) find satisfaction not in the thrill of power but in fostering growth mindsets, collaboration, and positive change. Leadership requires vision, patience, and sometimes empathy; all of which can be diminished when someone is drawn to leadership simply for the excitement it provides. Thrill-seeking leaders may overlook key processes, undervalue teamwork, and make decisions that prioritize short-term excitement over long-term success, especially if it benefits them first.

Leadership is ultimately about being a servant and then empowering others. Leaders are entrusted with the well-being, development, and performance of those they guide. When leadership becomes a pursuit for personal excitement, it creates a disconnect between the mission and vision and from the needs of those who provide for the stability of the culture. Leaders who approach their roles with a sense of duty and responsibility rather than thrill-seeking inspire trust, loyalty, and respect.

Leadership is also a stewardship given by God. An opportunity to influence others in a way that reflects His character. A servant-based approach turns the pursuit of leadership upside down, challenging a thrill-seeker to let go of personal ambition and instead focus on uplifting others. The excitement in leadership should come from seeing positive transformation and growth in those we serve, not from the prestige of the position.

Should we be scared by those seeking a thrill in leadership? I say yes. Thrill seekers who obtain leadership positions are more than likely wearing a mask anyway. Seems fitting since yesterday was Halloween…

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2024 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

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(T)Issues of Leadership… It’s just one letter away! 

27 Friday Sep 2024

Posted by The Book Chamber in Choice, Circumstances, Conflict, Consistency, Crisis, Culture, Deciding, Decisions, Disaster, Distractions, Education, Educational Leadership, Emotion, Emotional Temperature, Importance, Influence, Insecurity, Inspiration, Integrity, Intentional, Intentions, Issues, Knowledge, Leader, Leadership, Reality, Transparent, Trust, Understanding, Unity, Useful, Value

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business, Education, Educational Leadership, emotional-intelligence, Leader, Leadership, Learning, management, personal-development, Respect, Teachers, teaching

I love analogies. I believe they are a better part of describing situations and are key in leadership thinking and reflection. So, today’s topic…

Let’s start with a simple yet profound observation: the word “issues” is just one letter away from “tissues.” This clever play on words serves as a powerful analogy for how personal issues can influence leadership.

Doc1

This simple play on words is a powerful reminder of how personal struggles can influence leadership. No leader has it all together, and those who think they do need to quit believing it; others know the truth. By default, I would venture into saying that many leaders carry some form of unresolved issues, good or bad. These issues might be deep-seeded from past experiences and might even be people in your unwanted circle. Still, when leaders carry unresolved issues, they burden themselves first and then affect the emotional and operational well-being of everyone around them. It’s like having the box of tissues ready handy for emotional spills (these can be good or bad also) – except, in this case, it’s needing those tissues to clean up the mess caused by unchecked issues that a leader has caused.

Leaders with unresolved issues often project their insecurities or frustrations onto others. What’s worse is that they make it seem as if you are the one at fault. I hate it when this happens. It’s like knowing a tornado is coming, and you need to run, take cover, at a right angle from that path. Whether it’s stress, poor communication, or unchecked ego (hello!), these personal challenges create a ripple effect. Everyone around becomes confused (for sure), demoralized (yes, it can happen), or even disengaged (probably so) because of the leader’s inconsistency or emotional volatility.

When leaders bring their personal issues into the working environment, they can inadvertently stifle innovation, breed negativity, and weaken the overall culture. This is where it gets serious…

But the sun is always shining behind the clouds… great leadership is about recognizing those issues and addressing them head-on. No leader is perfect, but the best ones are self-aware. They understand that their personal issues can affect their ability to make clear decisions, offer effective guidance, and create a positive culture.

Instead of burdening the team with their issues, emotionally intelligent leaders create an environment where challenges are tackled together—turning potential “tissue moments” into opportunities for growth and connection. Leadership is not about being flawless but about continually striving for improvement and ensuring personal issues don’t bleed into professional spaces. Sometimes, it is worth hearing to get out of your own way… and let’s leave the tissues for blowing our nose instead…

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2024 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

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Leadership, in the movie “Reagan”

06 Friday Sep 2024

Posted by The Book Chamber in Adversity, Appreciation, Clarity, Communication, Consistency, Decisions, Effective, Influence, Inspiration, Leader, Leadership, Mission, Perseverance, Purpose, Relationships, Respect, Sacrifice, Vision

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Education, Educational Leadership, Leadership, Learning, Respect, school, Teachers, teaching

This past Monday, we went to the movies, enjoying our Labor Day afternoon to see the new film, Reagan, staring Dennis Quaid. I was eight years old in 1980 when Reagan was first elected as president. Over the course of the next eight years of his presidency, the movie allowed me to remember a few things here and there. Obviously, as I got older, and even now, I appreciate his leadership and the legacy he left America.

As I sat there, names and events from the past started surfacing in my mind. Looking back allows so much more reflection and enables us to see insights and the effect you didn’t know was happening in real time. At any present time, you can see leadership at work. However, looking past tense is where you see the starting results of leadership.

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Here are a few leadership takeaways from the movie Reagan that I gleaned…

Reagan was known as “The Great Communicator” and “The Great Persuader.” While he exhibited several leadership traits that resonated with political and business leaders alike, his ability to inspire through communication to the general public awarded him an audience of supporters. He knew when to be serious and when levity was needed. Being a great communicator allowed him to speak purposefully and to give and maintain direction, even when others doubted his approach to situations.

His optimism in the face of adversity and his strong sense of purpose emerged as key themes seen throughout the entire film. In all of his leadership, a sense of clear vision makes this possible. Reagan knew exactly what he wanted to do and when to do it. Many tried to hold him back from being who he was meant to be, while at the same time, there were those who championed him and encouraged him to be who he was meant to be.

Reagan embodied a rare talent for simplifying complex issues without diluting their importance. What impressed me most about watching his earlier life in Hollywood was his sacrifice of knowing his stance against the influx of communism would hurt his image and alienate him in Hollywood’s future. However, if there was ever anyone to look to for an example of having a vision and a mission, it was Reagan.

As with any great leader, Reagan’s willingness to listen to different perspectives is another hallmark of his leadership. He surrounded himself with a strong team of advisors and trusted them to help make decisions, demonstrating confidence in others while maintaining accountability (in one scene, Reagan asked a cabinet member, “What did I hire you for?”).

All in all, political differences and ideologies aside, Reagan was a dynamic leader. He always took every opportunity to rally people around a shared goal, inspiring pursuit while at the same time remaining resilient, even when faced with challenges. That’s what great leaders do.

If you get a chance, go watch Reagan. You will find leadership that can inspire and motivate you.

Go be a great educator and leader today… Our future needs it…

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2024 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Want to share this leadership thought with others? Click on one of the social media sharing buttons below and help spread the good…

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