In all of society today, it seems, leaders regularly navigate both tension and conflict, and then, maybe some do not. While the two are often used interchangeably, understanding their distinct nature is key to sound leadership. I’m currently reading the leadership book, Pivot or Die, by Gary Shapiro. In it, Shapiro emphasizes adaptability and agility in leadership, arguing that in a rapidly changing environment, the ability to “pivot” is crucial. For educational leaders, this means recognizing which situations call for a strategic pivot, and distinguishing whether what is present is productive tension (a sign of potential) or entrenching conflict (a sign of breakdown).

Everyone wants a definition…

So, what is tension?

Tension refers to the healthy “stretching” that occurs when people or teams work toward a goal but face differing views, ambiguity, or high stakes. As I was searching for some thoughts about this, I found this in John Maxwell’s leadership blog¹: “tension is different than conflict because it’s a sliding scale… there are plenty of differing opinions, and often there’s even strong disagreement. Still, doors remain open and people continue to work together.” 

In an educational leadership school context, tensions might surface as teachers and administrators debate the role lesson plans actually serve, parents and staff disagree on what the yearly school schedule looks like, or what is the best way to integrate technology. The key point is that the parties remain engaged, their goals are broadly aligned, but the pathway is being contested.

And, what is conflict?

Conflict, by contrast, occurs when opposing parties hold different goals, values, or interests, and this is a big deal. The relationship is adversarial, Maxwell¹ also stated, “two people who simply cannot agree on something, or a circumstance with only two viable outcomes.” Conflict in schools arises when a teacher feels undermined by a leader’s directive, when staff and administration clash irreconcilably over discipline and dress code issues, or when stakeholder groups believe their core values are being threatened. Unlike tension, conflict tends to require decision-making, clear resolution, and often changes in relationship dynamics.

Why the distinction matters for educational leadership?

As leaders, recognizing the difference gives leverage, not to win per se, but to be used for the better good. Tension can be a resource, it can spark innovation, foster growth, challenge assumptions. If handled skillfully, tension allows an educational organization to pivot, adapt its position, refine its practices, and embrace transformational change. This directly echoes Shapiro’s focus on a pivot mindset: leaders who recognize forces of change and adapt rather than resist. On the other hand, conflict, if left unmanaged, can escalate into a stalemate, toxicity, or systemic dysfunction… ultimately derailing educational goals and harming the culture. 

So, how do we square that circle?

Practical implication

Regardless of the setting, when a leader senses disagreement or discomfort, questions need to be asked… “Are we together, working toward the same aim but challenged by complexity?” This would be tension. Or, “Are we opposed, with conflicting goals and deteriorating relationships?” This would be a conflict. If it’s tension, consider open dialogue, redistribute roles, encourage idea collision, and frame the challenge as “we’re stretching to improve.” If it’s a conflict, you may need clearer decision-making, realignment of purpose, or even personnel-level intervention.

If tension is the stretch, then conflict is the clash. As an educational leader, you can acknowledge and harness tension to pivot forward and intervene when conflict threatens to compromise your mission. When you lead with that awareness, your school community cannot only survive change but thrive through it. But remember, in the end, a decision has to be made and not making one is a decision. 

¹ Conflict vs. Tension: Do You Know the Difference? – John C. Maxwell | October 2, 2018

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2025 J Clay Norton

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