Narcissism: From Decay to Destruction in Leadership.. Born of Selfish Pride

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C. S. Lewis, in some of his sermons and in Mere Christianity1, described pride as “the great sin.” Unlike other vices, pride stands in direct opposition to God because it refuses to acknowledge anything greater than itself. Yet it is important to distinguish between two forms of pride. A healthy sense of self-pride, rooted in the acknowledgment of God-given worth and responsibility, is not wrong. In fact, it equips leaders to carry their responsibilities with courage and stewardship. But… when pride distorts into selfish pride, it eclipses truth, humility, and service. Lewis noted that pride thrives in comparison; it is never content with being good or accomplished, but only in being better than others. Such pride blinds a person to truth and breeds contempt for those they are meant to serve. What Lewis made clear is that selfish pride is not just a character flaw; it is the root of spiritual decay.

Lewis’ warning about spiritual decay finds a striking parallel in leadership. I’m sure we all have our own definition of what narcissism is, but in my own summation, narcissism is an excessive preoccupation with self, marked by entitlement, a hunger for admiration, and a lack of empathy. I’ll go ahead and ask the question now, “Do you know anyone like this?”

In practice, this reveals itself not as guidance but as domination. A narcissistic leader seeks followers, not partners. They crave admiration rather than accountability. Instead of building others up, they drain their teams through manipulation and the constant need for validation. Over time, this dismantles trust. Where vision and service should flourish, control and fear take their place, creating a toxic environment. As Lewis warned, pride always leads to enmity… enmity between man and man, and between man and God. Ultimately, narcissistic leadership destroys the very community it was entrusted to grow. What often goes unseen is that narcissism is not born of strength but of insecurity… the louder the ego demands admiration, the weaker the foundation it is hiding.

This kind of destruction rarely begins with open arrogance; it begins quietly. We often hear that there is a fine line between ideas, ideals, and ideology, and just as the line between healthy self-pride and destructive selfish pride grows ever thinner, it is along that fragile divide that narcissism quietly takes root. True self-pride affirms God-given identity and responsibility, but selfish pride inflates the ego until it eclipses everything else, even the heart. That distortion gives birth to narcissism, and when it goes unchecked, it erodes the very foundations of leadership.

Yet having a Christian worldview foundation points us in a better way. Christlike, servant-based leadership offers a stark contrast: humility, service, and sacrifice. True leaders draw strength not from self-exaltation but from self-forgetfulness. As Lewis observed, “the truly humble man will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.” Such leaders recognize their worth in God and extend that recognition to others. In this light, self-pride does not become arrogance but stewardship, the courage to carry responsibility without turning it into a throne, worshiped only by selfish pride, that only a narcissist can sit on.

When self-pride morphs into selfish pride, narcissism becomes the master. Leadership ceases to serve a higher purpose and instead serves only the leader’s ego. In that shift, both the leader and the community lose their way. Lewis captured it perfectly: “A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” Leadership dies in the gaze of narcissism, but it flourishes in humility.

1Lewis, C. S. (1952). Mere Christianity. Geoffrey Bles.

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2025 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

Beyond Today: The Transitive Power of Educational Leadership

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I just finished reading Malcolm Gladwell’s The Bomber Mafia, and I was particularly interested in one idea (the entire book is full of fascinating knowledge by the way). Gladwell describes how ideas and memories rarely remain with the individuals who first hold them. Instead, they move, transitive in nature, living on in the lives of others. Though he applies this concept to military visionaries, it got me thinking about the work of educational leadership.

As leaders, the choices we make, the words we speak, and even the ways we handle pressure often become part of the memory banks of those around us, becoming a powerful motivator on how we lead. A teacher remembers how a principal treated staff with dignity during a crisis. A student recalls the fairness of a discipline decision long after graduation. A young educator shapes their own leadership style based on how they once watched a mentor navigate conflict. These moments are not fleeting; they migrate, they live on.

This realization reframes how we can see daily leadership in schools. Schools are not just institutions where knowledge is delivered but also where memories are forged. Those memories are carried forward, reinterpreted, and acted upon in the lives of others. With this thought of transitive action, leadership, then, can become less about immediate outcomes and more about shaping a lasting legacy of influence, one that helps define the climate and culture for the future, trusting the process. 

The sobering truth is that we don’t control which memories will stick. Sometimes a single act of impatience can overshadow months of encouragement. But the hopeful truth is also there: small acts of kindness, humility, and consistency often become the anchors others draw on years later. As I sit here writing, I realize the transitive power of my mentors, how their wisdom lives on in me, how it continues to influence my leadership, and how it extends to others.

Educational leadership, then, is memory-making work. The question for each of us becomes: What memories am I leaving behind that others will live into?

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2025 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

A Sacred Work Prayer

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Well, the start of school is here. Many are in full swing of five weeks now, a few a couple of weeks, and colleges just started… So, I wanted to wait until everyone was back to start sending out blogs again. I hope you had a great, restful summer, and you school year has started well.

For my first blog of the new school year, I thought I would write a prayer of sorts to get us thinking about the role of what we do, who we do it for, and why. Yes, what we do is a sacred work. I hope you enjoy. If you want a printable copy, click here: A Sacred Work Prayer

A Sacred Work Prayer

It is a privilege to speak,
of the work educators do.

For the lives enriched and challenged,
by their hands, their voices, their countless prayers.

Lord, give us wisdom, give us courage,
to stand beside those who educate.

As they lead in their schools,
for the betterment of society.

We pray for our schools,
let grace dwell among all who shape the future.

Day after day teachers give of themselves,
yet they are not alone…

For we walk with Jesus, the Master Teacher,
the One who never leaves, never forsakes.

Remind us daily this work is sacred,
a testimony to the power of education to change lives.

We remember those teachers who have gone before us…
who encouraged us, supported us, shepherded us.

Now strengthen us to serve,
to be salt and light in our schools.

That families and children,
may be profoundly blessed.

Thank You, Lord, for the gift of teaching,
may we not squander what You have entrusted to us.

Thank You for making us part,
of the ministry of Your grace.

As we model Your love,
to those we educate.

© J Clay Norton, 2025

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2025 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.

“Asset-based narrative” – It’s what we need in educational leadership for our schools…

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I was sitting in on a dissertation defense a few weeks ago, and the phrase “asset-based narrative” came up. This phrase, it got my head tingling, and I began to think about a connection to educational leadership. So, here’s what I came up with…

In education, leadership is not about what we meant to do, it’s about what we actually do. Good intentions are noble, but outcomes are what matter. Our schools, communities, and students live in the reality of our actions, not in the shadows of our intentions. That’s why we must begin to define leadership through an “asset-based narrative,” one that sees strength, not deficiency, and leads through what is possible rather than what is lacking.

Society often pressures leaders to control the narrative. Headlines, social media, and political climates push school leaders to respond quickly, to spin, to protect optics. But real leadership resists this impulse. True leadership defines the narrative… rooted not in fear or reaction but in clarity, purpose, and evidence of care. It says: “Here is who we are, what we value, and how we’re building something better.”

An “asset-based narrative” invites us to lead through celebration and contribution. It shifts our focus from what educators or schools “aren’t doing” to what they are accomplishing against real odds. It sees teachers as resilient, students as capable, and communities as partners. It reframes setbacks as opportunities to grow, not indictments of failure.

When we define the narrative, we move from defense to offense. We stop chasing reputations and start building legacies. And we do so by aligning our actions with what we say we believe. Because in education, as in life, leadership isn’t measured by the stories we wish had been told, it’s measured by the stories we choose to write with courage, consistency, and hope.

The question is not, “What did we mean to do?” The question is, “What did we do, and how did it build a better story for those we serve?” I think it’s worth taking a look at to see if we can find and define more of what we do in education based on the thought of “an asset-based narrative.”

As you step into your role today, remember that you are not just an educator and leader but a shaper of the future. Your actions and decisions profoundly impact the lives of those you guide. Go, be the great educator and leader that our future needs.

Remember… Think Leadership and Be For Others…

©2025 J Clay Norton

Want more Leadership Thoughts? Follow me on… X @thebookchamber or follow the blog directly.