“When leadership is a relationship founded on trust and confidence, people take risks, make changes, keep organizations and movements alive.” – James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner
When there are people around, to lead, I figure you just might have to have a relationship with them. Can you lead if relationships are absent? I suppose you can but…
I believe the one ingredient leadership must have, is “relationshipabilitness” (I just made that word up). Leadership relationships create an atmosphere across many different ideas, concepts, interests, etc. What leaders need and should understand is that relationships must be built and YOU, as the leader, must be the builder. If you cannot be that builder, what type of structure will your leadership be? Now, some leaders just choose not to build. This is very sad. Often, you might find that leader who states, “I am in charge and what I say goes, blah blah blah.” What you have here is a leadership facade that looks good on the outside, but on the inside, it is in shambles. No thank you.
When your leadership has a relationship with people, it listens to understand them. It considers and acknowledges their thoughts and ideas. Leaders must see that people have value. What happens is people begin to see that you are committed to them and just not yourself. Leading for yourself is easy. It is all about you. When we lead for others, we devalue ourselves. Notice the “for” in each of the two previous statements. Who is your leadership “for?” At the end of it all, that has to be the question asked and answered.
Do you honestly want to connect with your leadership? Then build relationships beyond yourself. Building relationships has to be one of the most effective leadership traits of a quality leader. Be a leader who is known for having “relationshipabilitiness.”
“If you want people to respect you, be respectful.” – Lolly Daskal
I have a bottle of Aromatherapy “Comfort” Lotion sitting on my desk a co-worker gave me. The “Comfort” label states it contains vanilla + patchouli. The vanilla absolute is for calming the mind to encourage relaxation, and the patchouli oil is for creating a sense of harmony. The other day I took time to read the back of the bottle. It is almost funny to read what the “Comfort” claims to do. The Aromatherapy Tip: “Massage into skin after a long day for pure comfort. Breathe deeply for best results.”
Photo Credit: Bath & Body Works
No, this is not a commercial or an endorsement for the “Comfort” Lotion, but it is for “Comfort” Leadership.
Ok, the question you might be asking is why I have that “type” of lotion? Maybe my co-worker was trying to tell me something? Actually, I have dry hands in the winter time and need some lotion every once in a while, and that is what she gave me.
As I thought more about this “Comfort,” I began to ponder how our leadership affects others. Does your leadership promote “Comfort?” Can you agree with the statements advertised on the label as it falls under your leadership?
Questions to ask…
1. Does your leadership provide a calm atmosphere? Or, is there a conflict because no one knows what you expect because of the cloudy storms that are scattered daily?
2. Does it encourage a relaxing environment where people can be themselves? Or, are they tense because they do not know what type of mood you are in from day to day?
3. Is there a sense of harmony where everyone is on the same page with the mission and vision? Or, is it wound tight where everyone is afraid to breathe?
When people can set aside their egos, it is amazing what can be accomplished. Our leadership must be able to see and be for the bigger picture. We should do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. Too many times, leaders do what they think the right thing is for themselves. Why? Because it is comfortable for them and then wonder why everything is in chaos and uncomfortable for others.
There is “Comfort” to be found in Aromatherapy Leadership. You just have to decide if you want to use it or not. When you do, you will find it is as much for you as it is for others. Everyone can feel the effect and all will be better for it.
Below you will find the lyrics to the new song by Christian artist, Mandisa, “Bleed The Same.” The other day I heard it for the first time on KLOVE riding down the road. Like many things, it made me start thinking…
We say this, and we say that, only to get and keep the same results. We say we want more or better, but we do not put the effort in to change. Many times we might even be influenced by others who do not want to change. I/we want to…. I/we wish… I/we… The “want list” just goes on and on.
When it comes to the lives we live, they are the sum collections of thoughts created from experience or instilled as a way of life. However, the funny thing is, we are all in this together. At some point, we must acknowledge that everything in one way or another, affects everything else. The ripple effect might have diminished very small by the time it got to us but rippled it did.
Our world of humanity has its foundations based on morality. Sooner, rather than later, we should all know the difference between right and wrong. Yet we continue to make the same choices that enable our lives to stay the same, while at the same time always wanting more or better. The system can only be blamed so much. The issue becomes that we want the spotlight on others and their faults. We never want to turn the spotlight on ourselves. The last thing we want is for our inadequacies to be shown in the light.
I figure the best way to handle all of this, is to start with me. What am I doing to make it better? The “it” is anything that divides. It is united we stand. Can we (you, I, whoever) choose to work for a greater good? How many times does each of us have that one opportunity to do just that? Actually we have many opportunities. We just wait on someone else.
As you read the lyrics below, I would dare say that each of us would agree with everything it says. So many solid truths. Whatever change you want, let it start with you. Most of all, let others see it. Go out and prove it. Your essence of leadership does one of the two… it unites or divides.
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If you want to listen to the song, click here:
We all bleed the same We’re more beautiful when we come together We all bleed the same So tell me why, tell me why We’re divided
Woke up today Another headline Another innocent life is taken In the name of hatred So hard to take (hey!) And if we think that it’s all good Then we’re mistaken ‘Cause my heart is breaking
Are you left? Are you right? Pointing fingers, taking sides When are we gonna realize?
We all bleed the same We’re more beautiful when we come together We all bleed the same So tell me why, tell me why We’re divided If we’re gonna fight Let’s fight for each other If we’re gonna shout Let love be the cry We all bleed the same So tell me why, tell me why We’re divided
Tell me, who are we To judge someone By the kind of clothes they’re wearing Or the color of their skin?
Are you black? (black) Are you white? (white) Aren’t we all the same inside? (the same inside) Father, open our eyes to see!
We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same) We’re more beautiful when we come together We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same) So tell me why, tell me why We’re divided If we’re gonna fight Let’s fight for each other (fight for each other!) If we’re gonna shout Let love be the cry (be the cry!) We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same) So tell me why, tell me why We’re divided
Only love can drive out all the darkness What are we fighting for? We were made to carry one another We were made for more, said Only love can drive out all the darkness What are we fighting for? yeah We were made to carry one another We were made for more!
We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same) We’re more beautiful when we come together (let’s stand united!) We all bleed the same (we all bleed the same) So tell me why, tell me why We’re divided If we’re gonna fight Let’s fight for each other (fight for each other!) If we’re gonna shout Let love be the cry (be the cry!) We all bleed the same(we all bleed the same) (bleed the same) Let’s stand united (let’s stand united) Let’s stand united!
So Father God, I pray That our families will come together right now And seek Your face You will forgive our sins And You will heal our incredible land In the name of the only Savior, Jesus Christ Amen
“Egotistical leaders look for and want exposure. In the end, they will be exposed.” – J. Clay Norton
Dysfunctional leaders; they are everywhere, and their population continues to grow. Please quit moving to their town and taking up residence.
Picture by Due by Monday – duebymonday.com
It seems like every aspect of our culture is under attack, so is leadership. I am convinced that as leaders, we must do everything we can to avoid the label of dysfunctional. For that matter, any other label that creates a negative.
So, how do we avoid having the label of dysfunctional? Here are some thoughts…
Avoid being moody.
No one enjoys being around a moody person, much less if they are in a leadership position. We will have bad days, but we choose to have a bad disposition.
Avoid the EGO.
Do not be a self-promoter and stuck on yourself. No, the world does not revolve around you. Quit thinking that it does.
Avoid the “Poor Me” syndrome.
Quit playing the victim. For the most part, everyone is not out to get you.
Avoid being passive-aggressive.
Do not use side stabs and silent insults to get your way.
Avoid being the leader that says, “Do as I say, not as I do.”
Talk about inconsistency. Functional leaders say and do.
Leadership is in trouble when these characteristics are noticeable. Leaders like this live in a world of denial.
Have you ever noticed the word “fun” in dysfunctional? Probably not, because there is none. Everyone walks on egg-shells around dysfunctional leaders. They are the ringmaster of their circus. Remember this; every entertainer needs an audience to perform. Let their performance be for themselves. Tippy-toe, drama-making, face-saving dysfunctional style leaders can stay in their own “one-ring” circus.
Good leadership will have its challenges. It is not a matter of if, but when. It is a guarantee, especially when we are doing our jobs. Staying grounded and cultivating a strong leadership culture is a must. Let’s be intentional in taking the “dys” out and be functional leaders and do what is right and be a joy to be around.
The Book Chamber 